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Depression Message Board

I'm so scared...

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Old 10-18-2002, 07:16 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 87
AnotherOne HB User
Angry I'm so scared...

I've never been so scared in my entire life... I'm sure you've felt like you just wanted to disappear...=\
I dont understand why I'm so scared...I have a feeling I'll loose everything... I'm scared of even being hugged or touched..I'm scared of doing things I once enjoyed...I'm scared of feeling...
I want to feel love... So many people take it for granted......Dammit.... I'm so scared...I dont want to loose it all...I feel so guilty cause I dont want to hurt the ones I love and I dont want to loose them...*sigh* Why am I here if I dont have anybody and I cant feel love? Why must I feel stupid anger, fear - All this crap...
I'm starting to think that this has always been the way I am and Ive never been the true me...
I need hugs...even though they feel like crap....

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Old 10-18-2002, 07:48 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Hawthorne, NJ
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StarCat HB User


Well you can start with the virtual hugs, and work your way up to the real ones. After all the hugs people have given me lately, it's time for me to return the favor.

At one time in my life, I was suffering from such extreme anxiety and depression, that I couldn't stand to be touched or crowded....even though I desparately needed affection.

It will pass.

Call you doctor and ask if maybe your meds need to be readjusted. Or perhaps you could get a quick-fix med like Xanax just to use short-term for the intense agitation and anxiety.

I'm pulling for you,

Old 10-18-2002, 09:21 AM   #3
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Location: Tulsa OK USA
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bev52 HB User


Old 10-18-2002, 09:50 AM   #4
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 87
AnotherOne HB User

I'm on my 4th day of Wellbutrin...
I just want all of this to go away..I feel so damn lonely and hopeless..I think im going crazy or something :\

Old 10-18-2002, 11:43 AM   #5
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Harrison Twp., MI, USA
Posts: 3
tjuedes HB User

I know how you feel....i am really scared now too...i crashed really hard earlier this year and was in the hospital twice (once in December amd once in March). I had to have ECTs because medicines were not helping me fast enough..I am also on Wellbutrin. Started on Saturday. I was on Remeron, but it was causing me to gain too much weight. I hope the Wellbutrin works for me. I do notice its been harder for me to sleep since I started it. I don't know if this post helps, but I can identify with what you are going through. I don't want to lose it all either and I am always afraid that my depression will cause people to walk away. All we can do is are best and continue to seek help and take it one day at a time.

Old 10-18-2002, 11:59 AM   #6
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 87
AnotherOne HB User

I hope all of this goes away...
I'm so cold and just empty right now...Its like I have no life in me...and it feels like I cant care about it and thats what scares me the most..its hard to even cry now and im just so angry at everybody

Old 10-18-2002, 12:24 PM   #7
west virginia girl
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Location: west virginia
Posts: 693
west virginia girl HB User

sweetie,i know your feelings all to well. i want these feelings to go away so bad also,i don't know whats happening to me and why i feel so lonely,and scared. it's terrible but my phytrist put me on effexor 75mg twice a day and seoquel at bedtime, i have been on it for about three weeks now and i don't see alot of improvement but i do see some,i'm not burning myself anymore to make the things around me seem real,i feel as if i exist in a dream or something. it's all so scary. i'm here for you and i hope your medicine starts working. (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

Old 10-18-2002, 06:38 PM   #8
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 87
AnotherOne HB User

thnx west virgina grl...
I think I made a big I keep reading and reading about depression and it makes me feel good for a lil while knowing that im not alone, but then i get scared again...the what if's...etc..
I dont know what to do....Dammit...
I cant enjoy anything, and I dont want to hurt others because its not their fault...I just wanna be able to love again and just....throw this depression away.

Old 10-19-2002, 12:53 AM   #9
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,058
Ashlee HB User

I'm so sorry you're feeling so down right now, AnotherOne.

I hope for your sake that you are feeling a lot better today.

Take care of yourself

( ( ( ( ( ( AnotherOne ) ) ) ) ) )

[This message has been edited by Ashlee (edited 10-19-2002).]

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