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going insane


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Old 10-19-2002, 10:28 PM   #1
bnice956
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Exclamation going insane

anyone,
im 16 years old. ive been going through depression since i was 13. i didnt go see a doctor for it until i was 14. ive been on some antidepressants for a while now. i keep having to up my dosage. im on 100 mg of zoloft a day. and its not helping at all. each day i feel like im slipping away from the world. i cant stay happy. i walk around wishing i could just be sleeping. because when i sleep, i dont have to feel so down and alone. i have a girlfriend. ive been dating her for a little over 11 months. she is a wonderful girl. but she is starting to be the only one/thing that makes me happy. i used to be able to take joy in playing football. but i cant find fun in it anymore. and i actually cant wait for the season to end. my family life sucks and i cant be open with my family because they would hate me if they knew who i realy am. i have only a few close friends who i can talk to. i feel so alone. i recently went to a counseling appointment and the counselor told me i needed to go see a psychiatrist to figure out exactly what i needed because he thought i was clinically depressed. and i feel like a freak. i used to go to counseling once a week because i was so messed up. and things got a little better. but things have gotten so bad in these last 8 months that i wish i wouldnt get up each day. and the only reason i continue to wake up is so i can see my gf at the end of the week. but i dont want to put that much pressure on her. i know its hard for her. and i want to be able to be alive and feeling good for her. im sick and tired of feeling so all the time. i need help. but i dont know what to do. i need some advice. i dont have a father to talk to. so im kinda lost here. someone please help me before i go insane and end up doing something i will regret later.

bnice

[ ~~ bnice, please note that the use of profanities is not permitted here. ~~ Thanks, Minerva ]

[This message has been edited by minerva (edited 10-20-2002).]

 
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Old 10-19-2002, 10:48 PM   #2
newdawn
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Brice,
I know how you feel I started having severe depression when I was 15 and then when I was 22 I was in an abusive relationship and they put me on paxil..
now I am on zoloft100mg.. so far so good you really need to get back into counseling its the best thing for you trust me you seem like such a great kid
I am 32 so see I have been depressed a long time...
praying for you,Renee'
a funny bouncy dude

 
Old 10-20-2002, 11:08 PM   #3
clouds
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:"my family because they would hate me if they knew who i realy am. "

i dont think they would hate you. why?

as a schizophrenic i do feel i cant tell anyone or they would reject me but just depression shouldnt be a problem to talk about

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Old 10-21-2002, 02:42 AM   #4
west virginia girl
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if you think you are going to do something to hurt yourself,go right now and tell someone. depression is a very wicked and disturbing illness and it messes with you. but like chrys said it is the depression not that you going insane.keep that in mind! deffently go to counseling,a pycitrist would be great. talk all this stuff out,get on the right medications which can take a while. have a plan for yourself,what your gonna do like say ok no1....finding a good phycitrist no2....maybe getting a second opinion about the meds your taking. my pycitrirst tells me even thought i don't find fun or happiness in anything right now to make myself do it cause thats the only way i'm going to get back in the swing of things. i am so sorry you have delt with this at such a young age but depression doesn't care who it messes with,does it? i wish you all the best and keep you head up,you have a girlfriend that you really care about,thats something to smile about

 
Old 10-21-2002, 03:17 AM   #5
Zat
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Hey bnice,
have you really tried to talk to family? Trust me, your mom won't hate you because of this. God knows I sure put mine through the wringer when I was a teenager.

I'm in my 40's now and do you know who is my 'best' friend? Yup, Mom. In the last 20yrs she's been there for me. Whenever I really needed emotional support, she was and is there.

So you might want to talk to her, let her know what's going on in your life. I'll bet she's got a sneaking suspicion that somethings not right with you, it's that Mother's 6th Sense.

Do you have any older siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents or even close cousins that you could talk to?

That and don't be a stranger, if you need help, you can come here.

take care bud,
Zat

 
Old 10-21-2002, 08:11 PM   #6
bnice956
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Unhappy

i understand what all of you are saying. but im so sick of feeling this way. its gotten worse and worse. and now i have only one thing that seems to make me feel better. and thats my girlfriend. and right now our relationship is not going so good. i just want things to go back to normal. shes all ive got right now. i just wanna not wake up every single day. im ready to give up. ive been through hell. and i dont know how much longer i can take. im in so much pain. and every moment im awake i wanna either die or be asleep so i wont feel anything. im just so sick of being in pain.

 
Old 10-21-2002, 08:14 PM   #7
bnice956
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Unhappy

i understand what all of you are saying. but im so sick of feeling this way. its gotten worse and worse. and now i have only one thing that seems to make me feel better. and thats my girlfriend. and right now our relationship is not going so good. i just want things to go back to normal. shes all ive got right now. i just wanna not wake up every single day. im ready to give up. ive been through hell. and i dont know how much longer i can take. im in so much pain. and every moment im awake i wanna either die or be asleep so i wont feel anything. im just so sick of being in pain.

 
Old 03-24-2003, 06:40 AM   #8
clouds
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well how are you now?

 
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