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  • I'm Stuck in a Depression Time Warp

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    Old 03-22-2006, 04:03 PM   #1
    BlueDenial
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    Exclamation I'm Stuck in a Depression Time Warp

    Hi, I just wrote a long post and it disappeared so if this shows up twice, I'm sorry. I'm new here but I've been here before a few years ago. I am stuck in a depression/anxiety time warp that I can't get out of. I've been frozen in time for 3 years or so. I guess you call it being emotionally stuck. I go to the dr. for high b/p and asthma and anxiety. I haven't been to the dr. in almost 6 months. I finally made an appt. it's in about 2 weeks and I am already so anxious about it. I can't spill my guts to my dr., he's kind of cold and clinical and I think he would just brush it off as neurotic. I don't know, I think I'm going to have a mental meltdown when I go. I told my husband not to commit me no matter what although I think he would rather enjoy that. But seriously, I feel trapped in a way that the anxiety and depression are taking over my life. Over the last 20 years I've been on many different meds for anti-depression. Some helped but there's always those dreaded side effects. I don't want to go back on the med. but I think I have to in order to get my life back. I'm so anxious that I don't even want to go out of the door. There have been so many issues and drama going on in my life that I just can't cope with them any more. (Mostly involving my family). I really am afraid to spill my guts to the dr. and I'm afraid I'm going to emotionally lose it at the appt. I have been drinking lately, because it seems that's the only relief I can get, I have no support that I can count on at home. I'm not going to do anything stupid, I have too much faith in God. I think I was just born to live a depressed miserable life and suffer in silence, like most people with mental illness does. I want help, I just am not sure how to go about asking my dr. for it. If any one out there has any advice I would appreciate it a lot. I know this sounds "out there" but I feel "out there" and I know I need help.

     
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    Old 03-22-2006, 04:27 PM   #2
    oceandreams
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    Re: I'm Stuck in a Depression Time Warp

    BlueDenial,

    It sounds like you are in a lot of pain, I really sympathize with you and hope you will be able to get the help you need. It's possible that your doctor may be more understanding than you think--most doctors deal with these kinds of issues fairly frequently. Is your doctor a mental health professional? If not, you might want to try to find a psychiatrist instead, if you really think your doctor won't understand. A psychiatrist would be better able to help you with medication too.

     
    Old 03-22-2006, 04:42 PM   #3
    dwallech
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    Re: I'm Stuck in a Depression Time Warp

    Hi,
    I feel for you as you are going through so much. Always remember God doesn't give us more than we can handle. My husband suffered for years, and thought he could get through it on his own. His son had the same problems. One day his son came to us and said please go see about getting your doctor to give you Paxil as it was working for him and felt it couldn't hurt to try as they seem to have the same body chemistry. My husband decided to confide in the doctor, which was very difficult, but found the doctor very understanding. The problem? He lacks serotonin and the Paxil replaces it. Just like I lack thyroid and take a replacement pill, he takes the Paxil for serotonin. It took 6-8 weeks for it to build up in his system. He is a total differnet person in that he now feels the anxiety coming on, but then feels it kick in when needed. Serotonin is the fight or flight and if you don't have it, it results in a lot of anxiety. My husband is so glad he listened to his son as it has changed his life in so many ways.
    If you cannot talk to the doctor, I would find one you can. You need to have a doctor who will listen. A lot of people we know tried Zoloft, but ended up changing to Paxil. My husband has had no side effects at all. After a year they upped his dosage as he knew it was working, but felt he needed a little more, which they did and now he is excellent!!!! Please know there is help out there and we are all here to support you. See if you lack serotonin as a lot more and more people in my work world etc have had anxiety and found out that is what was wrong. When put on a serotonin med, they all have improved vastly. Hope this helps!!!

     
    Old 03-22-2006, 04:42 PM   #4
    BlueDenial
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    Re: I'm Stuck in a Depression Time Warp

    Thanks, oceandreams, no my dr. is a regular family practitioner. It's usually a health insurance thing when it comes to going to a psych/psychologist. It's a shame in this day and age that in the U.S. that most people including myself can't get the proper care because of insurance. I am in a lot of pain but don't know how to tell my dr. without a crying fit. I'm working on it though.

     
    Old 03-22-2006, 04:51 PM   #5
    BlueDenial
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    Re: I'm Stuck in a Depression Time Warp

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dwallech
    Hi,
    I feel for you as you are going through so much. Always remember God doesn't give us more than we can handle. My husband suffered for years, and thought he could get through it on his own. His son had the same problems. One day his son came to us and said please go see about getting your doctor to give you Paxil as it was working for him and felt it couldn't hurt to try as they seem to have the same body chemistry. My husband decided to confide in the doctor, which was very difficult, but found the doctor very understanding. The problem? He lacks serotonin and the Paxil replaces it. Just like I lack thyroid and take a replacement pill, he takes the Paxil for serotonin. It took 6-8 weeks for it to build up in his system. He is a total differnet person in that he now feels the anxiety coming on, but then feels it kick in when needed. Serotonin is the fight or flight and if you don't have it, it results in a lot of anxiety. My husband is so glad he listened to his son as it has changed his life in so many ways.
    If you cannot talk to the doctor, I would find one you can. You need to have a doctor who will listen. A lot of people we know tried Zoloft, but ended up changing to Paxil. My husband has had no side effects at all. After a year they upped his dosage as he knew it was working, but felt he needed a little more, which they did and now he is excellent!!!! Please know there is help out there and we are all here to support you. See if you lack serotonin as a lot more and more people in my work world etc have had anxiety and found out that is what was wrong. When put on a serotonin med, they all have improved vastly. Hope this helps!!!
    thanks to you too, dwallech. I've heard of paxil and what it can do for you, but that is one I've never been on. Isn't it also used for anxiety? Of the ones I've been on, I'd say prozac worked the best, but I had to stop it due to many side effects with the worst being inability to stay asleep. Maybe I'll print my posts and take it to my dr.? That way I won't cry as much I think.

     
    Old 03-22-2006, 07:27 PM   #6
    oceandreams
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    Re: I'm Stuck in a Depression Time Warp

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BlueDenial
    Maybe I'll print my posts and take it to my dr.? That way I won't cry as much I think.
    That's an excellent idea.

     
    Old 03-22-2006, 10:25 PM   #7
    MagicSunshine
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    Re: I'm Stuck in a Depression Time Warp

    First I want to tell you many people are afraid to open up to their Drs. My depression hit when I was 19, and believe me, that was plenty of years ago.
    My family Dr. set my up with a psychiatrist, so I would get the right meds to help me. I only see him once a year now, unless there is trouble, and my regular Dr. handles everything.

    I was lucky because I had been seeing my Dr. for over 20 years. I was nervous before I went to him because I didn't want to tell him what a mess I was, and at the time, I really was. When the day came I kept my appt. and when they called me in, I set in a chair by his desk and every muscle in my body was tense. He asked me what was wrong and to tell him my symptoms. I started rambling and crying and shaking and somehow got the whole thing out. I even told him I was sure he thought I was crazy now. I told him I was afraid I was falling apart. He looked at me, handed me a tissue, and said "what bettr place to fall apart than here??" From then on there was nothing I couldn't talk to him about.

    Your Dr. has seen other patients with symtoms like yours. Mental illness is like any other kind of illness. We are broken and we need fixed.

    You are one step ahead because you know you need help. That will make you much easier to treat. I'm anxious to hear how your appt. goes. Take Care and Good Luck......Connie

     
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