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-   -   is it okay to still be crying after being on meds? (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/depression/378540-okay-still-crying-after-being-meds.html)

Kostalkat 03-30-2006 07:56 AM

is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
I have been of effexor for about a year (75mg) about 4 months ago my doc doubled it. I still am feeling hopeless, lost and have no sense optimism. Somedays are okay, but there are the days where I just feel like I am purposely doomed, like I somehow deserve what is happening to me. I try hard to accept that it is a chemical imbalance and partially due to circumstances. I walk alot and go and throw rocks in the ocean and sometimes that makes me feel better. I just feel like this black cloud is lingering over me and I cannot shake it. I cry so much and get so down... I often wonder if I will ever run out of tears... or maybe just wish.. I just want to feel normal and happy. I miss laughing and finding joyment in things. Everyday is 'just' another day. I am afraid to grow older and think about how I wasted my life... I just want to know if the sun will ever shine again and if so how do I get there???

Sincerely,

Kostalkat.

trg247 03-30-2006 09:41 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
maybe it is time to try a new medication. Are you currently in therapy? You can only expect the meds to do so much.

take care
trg247

Kostalkat 03-30-2006 11:50 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
I have been seeing a psychiatrist about every three months or so and that is to only discuss medication. I don't see him again until the end of May. I have tried many medications, I am almost ready to give up on them. I know they can only do so much, as you said. I thank you for your words.
As far as any other therapy goes, it is too costly right now for me to see a counsellor. My husband's medical plan does not cover it and I am currently in between jobs. I see my regular doctor soon, perhaps I will see what he suggests.
Thank you again!

Shell

MagicSunshine 03-30-2006 05:30 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
I saw so much of myself in your post. I'm feeling better now, so there is hope for you, also. I've been battling depression and anxiety for over 20 years.

I was dx'd when I was 19 and it was hard to find an AD that helped me. Finally, my psychiatrist tried me on elavil (amiltriptyline) and that worked for me for many years.

I had a set back and my Dr. added lexapro 10mg. Things are getting better now. That black cloud over your head will go away. You're going to feel better. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. We care!

macadamiaNUT 03-30-2006 10:59 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Hi Shell,

Hey, I grew up across the straights from you!! Probably sailed on over there a bunch of times, with my dad.

I looked up Effexor, and its top published dose is 225 mg., so it may be that going up a little higher would help, but ya never know. Just be sure to taper slowly when the time does come, either to try another med or go off them completely (later later). If you cry all the time now/still and feel like you're under a black cloud then it doesn't sound like your med is effective. It could be the dose, or it could be not the right med, as trg suggested. But crying all the time says that you are still depressed, despite the med.

Can you call your psychiatrist and fill her/him in on how you're still feeling down? You shouldn't have to endure this for another bunch and bunch of weeks.

Kostalkat 03-31-2006 08:12 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
[QUOTE=C.L. Navarro]I saw so much of myself in your post. I'm feeling better now, so there is hope for you, also. I've been battling depression and anxiety for over 20 years.

I was dx'd when I was 19 and it was hard to find an AD that helped me. Finally, my psychiatrist tried me on elavil (amiltriptyline) and that worked for me for many years.

I had a set back and my Dr. added lexapro 10mg. Things are getting better now. That black cloud over your head will go away. You're going to feel better. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. We care![/QUOTE]

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I was also diagnosed when I was 19 and that was 17 years ago. I have been on so many medications and now I just feel like a study. I know that there are so many medications and one must find the right one and it can be a timely process. I am thinking (and was suggested) that I should call my pyschiatrist and give him an update. I know eventually things will get better... or at least I am hoping. I tell ya, some days I just want to give up, but wouldn't. It's funny, I think of myself as a fairyly level headed person that can make wise choices in life. I am kind to others and if I am patient good things will come. My husband, bless him, tries to be understanding, but he thinks that I should get off all the meds and try a more natural approach. It's very difficult to explain to someone who hasn't felt this way how I am feeling. The last thing I ever want to hear is 'cheer up'. If it were that easy I would...
Today is not such a bad day, I am going to go to the beach (if the rain lets up) and maybe try some meditation.
Your words have brought tears to my eyes because I know I am not alone with this. I would never wish these feelings on anyone, but I am glad others understand. Thank you so much!!

Shelly

Kostalkat 03-31-2006 08:18 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
[QUOTE=macadamiaNUT]Hi Shell,

Hey, I grew up across the straights from you!! Probably sailed on over there a bunch of times, with my dad.

I looked up Effexor, and its top published dose is 225 mg., so it may be that going up a little higher would help, but ya never know. Just be sure to taper slowly when the time does come, either to try another med or go off them completely (later later). If you cry all the time now/still and feel like you're under a black cloud then it doesn't sound like your med is effective. It could be the dose, or it could be not the right med, as trg suggested. But crying all the time says that you are still depressed, despite the med.

Can you call your psychiatrist and fill her/him in on how you're still feeling down? You shouldn't have to endure this for another bunch and bunch of weeks.[/QUOTE]


Good morning,
Thank you so much for looking up that information! I have been on so many other medications, that even though I cry so much, it seems to so far be the best. Initially going on it made me very sick and I lost a ton of weight. It seems to have tapered off now. I thank you for your suggestion about calling the psychiatrist, and I will do that. It gets frustrating because I don't think they even know what it feels like to be in this state so they are also playing a guessing game as to what works and what doesn't. None the less, I would do anything right now to feel better.
I am from Vancouver Island, have you travelled up here? I think I would like to be where you are... sounds far more sunny! ha ha
Again, I thank you for your kind words and looking forward to hearing from you again. Also thank you for your understanding, it's nice to have others who can understand and remind me that I am not alone.

Have a lovely day!

Shelly

macadamiaNUT 03-31-2006 03:45 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
[QUOTE=Kostalkat]I am from Vancouver Island, have you travelled up here? I think I would like to be where you are... sounds far more sunny! ha ha
[/QUOTE]

I grew up in Vancouver, been over to Vic a bunch of times, Nanaimo, up and down the island, yep. I moved over here some time ago. As for SUN....HA HA HA is right. We're at 41 days of monsoon-like rain. It's 1:30 p.m. here right now and all day long it's looked like Vancouver at 3 p.m in December. BLECH! Let's all get together and find some SUN!!!

Anyway, it sounds hopeful that at least the Effexor has helped more than any of the others you've tried. I think you're right about some docs having no clue of what it feels like to not feel like yourself, let alone [I]take[/I] any of these meds. There's an awesome women's psychiatrist in Vancouver--she's written some books too, about Postpartum Depression (which is where I got my "ticket" in to depression initially, with PPD).

Make yourself at home here--you're among people who understand that "cheer up" won't work.

Kostalkat 04-01-2006 10:40 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Wow, well I live in Nanaimo... and it is truly rainy here too! That is very neat to know that you've been here. We do have a view overlooking Vancouver and in the evening when the sun sets, all of Vancouver looks like it's made of gold. Pretty lovely view. I sure enjoy talking wth you and that you understand. It would be nice to see a psychiatrist who actually knows what they are dealing with. Not to discount the one I see now. He is, from what I've been told, the top psychiatrist in Nanaimo. He has been helpful, but only to a point. Also with saying that, it is very difficult to get in to see him. I have to book 3-4 months in advance. He always tells me that if I need to, to call him. (which is kind) There are times where I would love to get off all the medications, but it scares me. I was on paxil and went off slowly.. as per the docs instructions. I began to develop brain snapping and vertigo... which of course the 'forgot' to mention to me. Ever since that experience I am terrified. My husband and I are looking at moving back to Alberta to be closer to family and friends... along with obtaining employment suited to our abilities. It is very difficult to live here and make a decent living.
I really hope the sun comes out soon for you....

As always, it's been a pleasure. Just talking makes me feel better, thank you!

Sincerely,
Shelly

Spin444 04-01-2006 10:55 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Kostalkcat, Drugs like Effexor can cause emotional turmoil, oddly. They call these problems, paradoxical and can happen to anyone. My sister in law, who insists on staying Trazodone, even though her life has gone to hell, can't even leave the house anymore. All she does is sleep and is more depressed than ever. She doesn't implicate the drug. Read the product insert and check out the neuroogical, behavioral list of side effects. Taking AD's is a crap shoot - a game not unlike Russian Roulette.

Good luck to you. Just in case you haven't been told by your doctor (not uncommon) or anyone else - if you ever decide to switch meds or stop taking them completely, you have to wean off, very, very slowly, to avoid withdrawal symptoms, which can include an even worsening of emotional problems for awhile, so be prepared. It's very possible, with a safe and slow weaning schedule, to get off Effexor without the suffering that others, who didn't know, end up living with.

Good luck to you!!!

macadamiaNUT 04-01-2006 02:13 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Shelly,

I've never seen the sunset view of Vancouver, but it sounds beautiful!

It is really nice to talk to someone from the "neighborhood", and there are also loads of people on here who are nice as well.

Nanaimo was pretty small the last time I was there (maybe 15 years ago), and I can see why employment could be a challenge. Alberta has been booming for years now, hasn't it?

Being closer to family, especially if they are supportive and understanding can make so much difference. Meanwhile, make a "family" here. :) Diane

Alex6657 04-01-2006 10:09 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
I still have days when I cry a lot or have other symptoms. I've been on 150mg daily of Effexor and 300mg daily of Wellbutrin for over a year now....that's when my Wellbutrin dose was increased (it was 200mg daily). I had Effexor added to Wellbutrin near the end of 2003, I think (can't remember for sure now).

Maybe just one medication isn't enough for you? I found that one wasn't enough to control my symptoms so I have to take two.

Forgive me if this has already pointed out or if it's something you've already tried....I've only read the first post and just skimmed a couple of others before replying. :D

Kostalkat 04-06-2006 08:14 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
[QUOTE=ImagineLennon]I still have days when I cry a lot or have other symptoms. I've been on 150mg daily of Effexor and 300mg daily of Wellbutrin for over a year now....that's when my Wellbutrin dose was increased (it was 200mg daily). I had Effexor added to Wellbutrin near the end of 2003, I think (can't remember for sure now).

Maybe just one medication isn't enough for you? I found that one wasn't enough to control my symptoms so I have to take two.

Forgive me if this has already pointed out or if it's something you've already tried....I've only read the first post and just skimmed a couple of others before replying. :D[/QUOTE]

Hi there, thank you for your post. I don't think that I have heard about being on two meds at one. I was on Wellbutrin before and that didn't help. I feel like I am on so many medications. Effexor, adivant, and sleeping pills. I walk around like a zombee most of the time. I cry still so much, but I am also afraid of going on more medications. The last experience I had was going off of paxil where I ended up with brain zapping and vertigo... I was very suicidal at that point as I had no idea what was happening to me. The doctors didn't tell me what I might expect coming off of them. It was only when I came to this site that I realized what was happening. I need to see the doctor, but again am afraid of whatelse they may put me on. I see the psychiatrist in May and I will ask him about it.
I hope you are doing well, it's nice to talk to others.

Sincerely,
Shelly

Spin444 04-06-2006 10:58 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Hi Shelly, I'm so sorry to hear about all of your problems, especially your Paxil experience. I felt VERY suicidal while going through withdrawal and had NO support. One would think that, after all these years of Paxil withdrawal horror stories all over the internet and in the news, that doctors would warn about it and provide a safe weaning guide. But they don't and some on these sites call it "scare tactics" when someone tries to warn about it. Effexor's withdrawal is as bad or worse than Paxil's, for many users. There's a chance that you won't have it as badly as some, but you should really know that you have to wean off very, very slowly and if your doctor doesn't have clue how to do this because the drug manufacturers don't provide ONE piece of information on it (criminal, in my estimation), you have to turn to message boards where the truth and help is welcomed. On those sites, you will not be encouraged to up your dose or to take yet another drug when it's obvious what the current ones are doing to you.

Look how you're feeling - like a zombie and crying all the time. You're on some powerful drugs and they can be detrimental to not only your emotional/mental health, but to your physical health. So many people are reluctant to admit that these types of psychiatric drugs harm a lot of people and don't work worth a darn for many. They can often make matters worse and it's such a crap shoot. If drugs weren't pushed so and if real, natural and SAFE means of help, that could possibly mean an actual CURE were more investigated, researched and offered to poor souls; all of these tragic and sad stories of people suffering, wouldn't be filling pages of sites like this on the internet. IF drugs "worked" so well, why the need for so many and why do people end up on them for so long, going from one to another to another?! Please don't buy into the suggestion that you need even more drugs. Yes, you can certainly convince many doctors to give you more of anything you want, but does your common sense really tell you that it would be a safe thing? PLEASE do some research on sites where users aren't afraid to leave their stories.

I wish you well and hope that you're learning something from your drug experiences. My sister in law refuses to learn and she's homebound now, unable to do the simplest of tasks. She's on TEN drugs now! I will never understand why people can't see what drugs have done to them.

Good Luck!

Kostalkat 04-06-2006 01:54 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
thank you spin444

Interesting as I was having this very same conversation with my yoga master today. I don't ever want to end up in a place where I won't leave my home. That scares me! My ultimate goal would be to minimize the usage of anti depressants and move into a more natural form of remedies. I am crying right now as you have brought so much to light. It is true what you say and I appreciate reading it! I am tired of being a zombie with no ups... just downs. I was telling a friend, I cannot remember the last time I actually laughed... like a good laugh. I chuckle every now and then, but to REALLY laugh.. I can't even remember what that feels like. How sad of an existence is that? I am envious of people who laugh so naturally. I know someday I will get there, working doing yoga and meditation has assisted me some what.

Thank you so much for your words!

Kostalkat

Spin444 04-06-2006 02:21 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Kostalkat, I'm glad that I helped you in some way. My sister in law can't smile at all. Even when we drag her out (we nearly have to carry her) for a family dinner at a restaurant and try to have fun, her face just hangs there. She looks like she's in another world. She was never like that before doctors put her on a cocktail of psych drugs and then a few other drugs for the side effects, like high blood pressure. She's pale and sweaty looking too. She's 58, but looks 88. It's so sad.

It sounds like your yoga (I'm SO glad that you're taking it) master might have some good advice for you. Please listen to those who really care and want to help you.

Funny, even those who claim to be helped by a drug, often visits depression sites for help and support, which is good, but if the drugs worked so well, why the need? Why the need for even MORE drugs or upped doses? That's because the drugs don't work well for many, many users, maybe even the majority, from all that I've read.

Good luck to you!! If you don't see any relief soon, a tapering of some of your drugs could help.Talk to your doctor first, of course. And know that your brain will need to heal for a certain amount of time.

MagicSunshine 04-07-2006 02:14 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Spin

I enjoy the people that are on this site. They helped me when I was so down. I care for them and that's why I continue to come here. Someday I may need their help again. I'm not 100% yet. That takes time. Why are you here??

Connie

Spin444 04-07-2006 08:41 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Hi Connie, I would think that it's obvious why I post on boards like this. For one thing, I still have some trouble with sadness, so it helps to read the posts of others and to offer advice. I often leave natural remedy info about depression that has helped me tremendously, including exercise, diet, behavioral modification, etc. Now that I know how bogus and unsafe some drugs are, I put much more effort into staying well and it works very well, not perfectly, but very well. I can live without yearning for a drug that I think might take away my pain. I've learned a lot about mind control that has helped me focus on the joys of life. I've learned to push out the negative and I think that it's very possible for most people to learn to fight depression naturally.

Also, after my sister nearly died after her stroke which caused her brain to bleed for 3 days; I became passionate about learning more about the drug and, when I found that the problems were so common and often very serious, I became even more passionate about making sure that others were warned. I know that I've helped countless people get through withdrawal. I was involved in writing the Paxil withdrawal guide. We've received so many letters of thanks, that I couldn't even begin to count them. I don't mean to pat myself on the back; I'm just giving you some idea, since you asked, what motivates me to visit boards relating to mental and emotional issues. I have never wanted to scare anyone, but to inform them of the harsh realities of certain drugs that their doctors may not warn about. On some sites, only the pro-drug agenda is welcome. That's neither safe or responsible. I really find it criminal that drug companies don't provide weaning guides when they know full well how difficult it is to quit taking certain drugs. Where is the FDA on this? Wouldn't it be great if there were weaning guides that would help peeople get off a drug without wanting to die? It's obvious that providing a weaning guide would send up a red flag to potential customers, because it would be admitting that there is a withdrawal problem. Drug companies would probably lose sales and that's their bottom line. It strikes me as vastly hypocritical when drug companies fein concern in their commercial, but leave so many users suffering when it's completely unneccessary. Odd, don't you think, that withdrawal guides have to be fashioned by former users? That's when people say, "ask your doctor", I just cringe because they rarely provide a schedule that is slow enough to work well. Why should they know anything about it? The drug reps won't tell them anything because they aren't provided anything. That's just one of the underhanded tactics that drug companies use to ensure good sales and, as usual, it's at the expense of all of us.

I sincerely hope that you don't need more help and that Lexapro will prove to be the perfect drug for you. I imagine that it is possible to stay on it indefinitely and not have trouble. Lexapro withdrawal can be difficult, but it's not quite as common or severe as that of Paxil or Effexor, for instance. I hope that you're one of the lucky ones.

Have a good evening.

Alex6657 04-09-2006 01:05 PM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
Spin, please don't misunderstand my original post. I was not suggesting that Shelly just jump in with both feet and ask for another medication or higher doses or anything of the sort. I was simply suggesting that she may be one of those few people who are like I am; those who ARE helped by more than one medication. I found out that I NEED two different antidepressants during periods of switching over from one med to the other. My psychiatrist over-lapped the switch from Serzone to Wellbutrin and I felt really good. After I stopped the Serzone I didn't feel really good. I didn't want to go back on Serzone (this was long before they pulled it) so we tried amitryptyline. I didn't like that either. My family doctor tried Remeron and I didn't like that. Finally, after thinking about it a great deal I went and talked to my doctor about Effexor. I'm on a fairly low dose of it and I have no plans to increase it if it can be avoided. I know about all the warnings about withdrawal, but I doubt that I'll ever have to worry about that because I'm going to be on meds for the rest of my life.

Kostalkat 04-11-2006 08:20 AM

Re: is it okay to still be crying after being on meds?
 
I would like to thank everyone for their valued thoughts on this. I have decided to minimize my medications. After speaking withmy family, who live away from me, they were all concerned. I went to visit them last month and was told what a 'zombie' I was. They said I wasn't myself at all... I can't remember what it is like to 'be myself'. It has been so long and very sad. Like I mentioned earlier, I cannot remember the last time I laughed or really felt like I was in control. I am still crying alot and feeling hopeless and powerless at times. I am so lost right now. I get out for walks, biking, yoga and meditation and do find some sense of relief. When my family told me this, I denied what they saw and just said I was going through alot. Of course on some level they do not understand, they haven't been to the state where I am or have been. Being off of work right now isn't the best for me as I feel antsy. The funny thing (well sad) is I am actually a youth counsellor. I guess sometimes it is easier to focus on other issues then my own. I have taken time off to regroup and do some 'soul searching'. I am really glad to have access to this site and to others who understand. I love that I can say what I am feeling without being judged or told to 'cheer up' or 'get over it'. Thank you to everyone here, you are truly a blessing.

Sincerely,
Kostalkat aka Shelly


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