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    Old 06-08-2006, 08:59 AM   #1
    lookin4aclue
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    Question Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    She went to counceling yesterday, and drew a picture of her killing herself with a knife. She then came home and we (her dad and I and her) all sat down and spoke...she seemed to understand but still wanted to do it. She said that she tried several nights ago with a knife...she can't tell us why she feels this way, she just says she hates herself. It's strange that she still talks like she will be here tomorrow, but also right after says she is going to wait until we are sleeping to do it. She's only eight and I don't know if this is an attempt to get attention, or if she is serious. We locked the knives in the car lastnight, and it seems that the knives are what she wants to do it with(really wanting to show us which one, and how, and said she wouldn't use anything else) She said she has a plan, and told it to us. I'm worried. She is depressed I know, but can't seem to express why. Any help would be great.

     
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    Old 06-08-2006, 09:16 AM   #2
    tootsiepopbreeb
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Hi there,

    How long has she been going to counseling? What does your therapist think of what she is doing? I think that whether it is for attention or not you should take this very seriously. As a parent myself, I would rather be too cautious and still have my child than lose her to anything. She obviously needs love and support right now. Does she have many friends at school? I hope that things get better for you and your family. Other than that I don't have too much advice. Sorry I couldn't be of more help....

    Bree

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 12:04 PM   #3
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Hi there,
    I'm 44 yrs old with 3 kids over the age of 15. Usually these feelings are associated with something a child is watching on TV or not having some real
    joy in life. However, when I was young, about 12 or 14 I wanted to kill myself. However, the knowledge from the Bible that all living beings belong to God and he would not forgive us for taking our own lives made me stop thinking this way.
    Your daughter also sounds like she is fixated with knives and you have to find out where that is coming from, a schoolmate, neighbor, some movie she saw.
    Keep talking to her, tell her you love her, take her out and help her appreciate all the things that she will miss out on if she dies. Hope this helps.

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 03:32 PM   #4
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Hi there.

    How was your daughter before any of this happened. Are there any changes in her charactor/personality that you can put your finger on.

    Is she being bullied or threatened at school.

    I have to say this, so, please don't don't take it the wrong way. Is there perhaps an adult/teenager around her that maybe doing things to her that she's uncomfortable with. I only ask this because something happened to me at a very young age and I wasn't able to talk about it until I was nearly 30. It kept me in a very dark place and am still working on it now.

    I became aggressive as a child and I s'pose that was my way of drawing attention to myself. Unfortunately my parents put it down to just that.

    As a grown up I believe that attention seeking actually means 'I need help'.

    I think you are wonderful to be able to show her the love and care that she really needs right now.

    It may take quite a while for her to be able to face whatever is troubling her right now. Be patient with her and make sure she feels safe. It sounds to me that you are doing all the right things.

    Take Care
    debdough















    Take Care debdough

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 06:32 PM   #5
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    I have an eight year old daughter too, and I'm trying to think what I would do in your situation. I would take this just as seriously as I would if this were coming from an adult, and try to get her immediate help. But, like you, I'm not sure we're to start. I know you already have her seeing a therapist. The only other thing I can think of, is to call one of those government suicide prevention hotlines. Since people call these hotlines as a last resort of communication, the counselors should be well schooled on the way to get the best professional help. Look up suicide hotlines on the internet and find one in your state or call your local hospital. I hope this helps a little and Good Luck. I know you must be so worried, but I'm sure everything will work out.

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 01:05 AM   #6
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Personally I think kids need to talk to kids.I mean kids relate to each other in a different way, They do stupid things together and they laugh at jokes we don't think are funny... well sometimes. I think some quality time with the parent and friends are good Lots of hugs and kisses. You could probably tell her the consequence of knives or draw her attention to something else. Like lollies and games. Try and make her forget about the knives. I dunno... maby you could ask her why knives are so "cool" and why she's always taking them... OH make sure you tell her that you won't get angry with her... See i don't tell my mum stuff that i want to tell because I'm scared she'll get angry with me.

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 01:31 AM   #7
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Welcome,

    What a situation...like walking a tightrope! I'm so sorry your daughter and your family are going through this. I can only image what this might be like, and probably my imagination wouldn't come close to how this feels for you.

    What I do "know" is...well, if you were talking about an 8-year-old son I'd think....yeah, maybe...something from TV. But, as sexist as this may sound, it's your 8 year old daughter saying these things, and THAT isn't right. That's just not what 8 year old girls talk about, usually (I don't mean that in a negative way--I'm glad you haven't brushed it off). Does she have an older brother or even her dad, who watch things that she shouldn't see, or has anyone in your direct family lines have obsessive compulsive disorder? Obsessions can be about harm coming to oneself or loved ones, and can seem to come out of the blue. Just guessing all over here...(with no profession to back up the guessing--just someone's mom who had ocd thoughts when my dd was a baby)

    The way you write it, it's not a passing thought or something she's thrown out there lightly. She has a plan, and it sounds like a focused energy too. I guess, just as you have, I'd believe her.

    Was that her first visit with the counselor? What did the counselor have to say about your dd's drawing?

    Maybe she can draw what it is that brought her to the point of wanting to hurt herself. I'd go with the crisis line call, because yes, they should be trained and have resources to link you with. I hope you'll make yourself at home here, and lean for support.

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 03:41 PM   #8
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    I have done everything that ya'll have asked about from the calling of the sucicide hotline, to explaining to her what would happen if she did take her own life and how God would see it. The explaining all the things she would miss out on. We don't have a local hospital that will take an 8 year old, but I did call the one that would indeed take her if they thought she also needed it(over 2 hours away)they said they thought that it was more attention getting, but to keep an eye on her, and to set up an appointment with a Phycoligist, to see if she might need to be put on an antidepressant...we really didn't want to go that road, but it's looking like we are going to have too. She has been on the kick since when she does do something to get in trouble to wait about 15 min and then tell the other children that she tried to suffocate herself(when I know full well that didn't happen) so I guess it was and is a game to her....but I know she needs help. She is my stepdaughter and I know she has had to deal with sooooooo much before I came around, I'm glad that she seems to be playing games instead of being serious, although I still think of it as serious(but was told not to let her know this). Thanks all for the advice...Seems I have tried what everyone else would have. Thanks alot.

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 03:54 PM   #9
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Oh yeah forgot to mention that it was the 3rd session, I've tried over and over to get her some kind of help with no prevail, due to money(these doctors are not cheap!)Finally got the state to step in after several visits to ther phycologist, he said she was bad enough now to receive help(took them two months to get it started with me calling them every week, saying this is getting worse.) Then they get it started and now when we need Phyc Eval no docs around here open for one until SEPT!!!What in the world are they doing around here till then(one takes extended time off for the summer, like these kids take time off from being mentally ill!) I can't beleive the resources that we need for children are so very limited. The doc that did the eval for the state did mention something about OCD(he more or less danced around saying just that though) I just want to get her to where she doesn't have to feel so bad about herself, and so low that she feels like killing herself, or even using it as a game to get attention. The docs at the hospital said that if we could keep her safe she shouldn't be there, I was like I can keep her safe even if that means duct taping her to her bed at nights(because that is when she said she will do it)Not that I would but I will find a way to keep her safe.

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 04:24 PM   #10
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    She's so lucky to have you. It sounds like you're doing everything you possibly can. You clearly have a great deal of love and concern for her. I am sure, with your help, she'll come through this just fine. Keep us posted. Best of luck. Missy

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 11:41 PM   #11
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    I think if it came out first through drawing you might be able to understand it more through drawing, she may just need a way of expressing herself that she can't find in words, even at eight the language barriar child to adult is big, she might be looking for words that as a child of eight she won't (or certainly no-way-in-hell-should) know. You need to find where this is coming from and you need to keep close eye on her. Is there any way you could set up a system that lets her be watched at night as well as in the day?
    No pdoc til september? Thats disgusting, have you tried looking at state councellors instead? Or have you tried asking if the school has a qualified councellor (it's not so common in primary schools but a lot of secondary schools do).
    Wishing you both all the best.
    xxx

     
    Old 06-10-2006, 12:38 PM   #12
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Like I stated before she was at counceling when this all came about, Our problem now is getting her into a doc that might be able to get her on meds due to the depression. The doc at the hospital 2 hours away said that it seemed she would need to be on antidepresants for awhile. For her to be on meds we thought she had to have a pycho eval, but turns out there is a Nurse Practioner at the counceling office that manages meds, so were going to give that a try until we can get her in to the others in Sept. School is out here, and even when school starts she was in counceling there as well, but really didn't deal well with that, they ONLY deal with school issues, although it didn't seem like they even did that. I don't know how many times she came home telling me some boy said he wanted to have sex with her, or had been kicked and beat up on the playground by several kids at the same time, or even the time she came home saying one of the teachers pushed her. I was so furious about all of this, and not one mention to me from the teacher or the principle or anyone, I even went as far as calling the school superentendent. Still nothing. Needless to say this school system isn't set up for children with issues of any kind, and we will be having our children in another school district by next year.

     
    Old 06-10-2006, 08:39 PM   #13
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lookin4aclue
    I don't know how many times she came home telling me some boy said he wanted to have sex with her, or had been kicked and beat up on the playground by several kids at the same time, or even the time she came home saying one of the teachers pushed her.
    This makes sense, with her wanting to kill herself. Not only is she not being listened to, taken seriously or treated with any kind of mutal respect, she's being bullied and the teachers are participating--overtly by physically pushing her, and covertly by not intervening. Seems to me there's a law suit if you had the time and interest in pursuing that route. (It's not how I was brought up, but I'd be very very very tempted based on just the short quote above.)

     
    Old 06-11-2006, 11:39 PM   #14
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    Screw the lawsuit, I'd be in that teachers' face so fast it wouldn't be pretty....I'd find out what kids are harrassing her too and insist the principal deal with them as well. I would call the police if it didn't stop, be in the principals office, etc. and just bug them to death everyday intil I got results.

    No way would I put up with other people abusing my kid where my kid hated herself to the point she wanted to hurt herself because of it! Seriously, get the police involved, the school board if that's what it takes!

    Actually, don't screw the lawsuit either. Be those people's worst nightmare, they deserve it.

    Sorry for the rant ,but the way your daughter has been treated and how it is effecting her really just burns me up. Why should she need to take medications when the problem isn't really her, it's those around her.

     
    Old 06-12-2006, 03:59 PM   #15
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    Re: Can anyone help me with 8 year old that wants to kill herself?

    I know what you mean, I have been to the teacher and all other anvenues that I can even went as far as filing a complaint at the police department, nothing came of any of it. I'm just glad the year is over, and we can find a better school system that does care. I don't have the money to invest in an attorney for this or I would have. My biggest concern is her, she can't deal with alot of things and seems to be sooooo obsessed with this killing thing(The more it goes on each day, the more she wants to call attention to herself. It's driving me crazy, but I know she can't help it.)Before the obsession was about death, freaked out about anything that had to do with it, now she is all over it with the fact that she wants to make us beleive she is going to kill herself. From one to another, she has been so hyper the last few days. I have an appointment with a doc to start her on meds if she needs it(really wish we didn't have to go this way)on Tues of next week. From there I guess we shall see.

     
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