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Is she depressed?

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Old 10-22-2006, 02:10 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 84
messee84 HB User
Is she depressed?

I think my mum is depressed...she says she's not because she's had depression before so she'd know but I think she's showing all the signs. She is in an unhappy marriage with my father but has never been motivated to do anything about it, they just live separate lives in the same house. But occasionaly she blows up over smallish things and starts threatening to leave or even kill herself. I don't know what to do because my dad has offered her half of everything but she won't take it...if she's so unhappy why wouldn't she go? She talks about inner turmoil she's feeling. She often says to me theres no point to her life even though she has me and my brother and a beautiful grandson. I've tried to help but theres only so much I can do I make her see she's depressed and get help? This is all driving me crazy, I've had this in my life for 22 years and as you can imagine growing up with a mum who constantly threatens to leave has affected me in ways I'm only beggining to see. My boyfriend of three years has just finished things because I'm a jealous and clingy girlfriend and he needed more freedom. I always feel trapped into stayin at home incase she needs me...going to uni was a huge wrench but I used to come home all the time so she had someone to talk to. I worry about moving out and leaving her permenantly which will happen eventually. I'm just starting to feel really low myself, constantly thinking about my relationship and where I went wrong, thinkin about my past a lot. I can't see a future where all this pain is gone or where I don't feel responsible for my mother anymore. I'd appreciate any advice

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Old 10-23-2006, 07:52 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: New York, NY
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WanderingSoul HB User
Re: Is she depressed?

I'm not a doctor or anything, but it does sound like she is depressed.. It also sounds like you are depressed and maybe codependent on her. Her moods affect you very intensely.. I have sort of the same type of my relationship with my mom.. It sounds like maybe you could work more on separating yourself from your mom? I know you care about her, but you have to remember that you are not responsible for her happiness.... you know?
Do you talk to your brother about this stuff? And have you ever spoken with a counselor?

Old 10-24-2006, 08:39 AM   #3
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 84
messee84 HB User
Re: Is she depressed?

Thanks I think you are right, I hate to feel so responsible for her but I can't help but feel guilty when I am away even though I know it's not my responsibility. I have considered counselling as I am beginning to realsie how much growing up with this has affected me. My brother knows very little about what goes on as he has left home and has a family of his own, even when he was here he used to able to switch off from all the arguments and everything whereas it would affect me really badly.

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