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Sad and Pathetic...


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Old 10-23-2006, 09:30 AM   #1
dead_5tar
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Sad and Pathetic...

.. Is it really that sad and pathetic to just want a friend? someone you know you can call up anytime, can say anything to and they wont judge you. just to know that that person loves you as a person and will never let you down. For you to feel secure when they hold you, and to be able to be yourself with them.

Is this person so hard to find???

 
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Old 10-23-2006, 09:56 AM   #2
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

No it's not sad and pathetic at all, I crave this myself, my best friend abandoned me last year when I got sick. We were always inseperable and then wham she was gone.

For me I will never find this now as I will never get that close to anyone ever again, it was too painfull.

 
Old 10-23-2006, 09:59 AM   #3
dead_5tar
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

My so-called friends did the same. they couldn't understand and so got on with life without me. I don't think i've ever really had this with someone though. Is it bad that i cannot seek this in my current partner? as she is all i have. I know if i didn't have her i would be alone 24/7

 
Old 10-23-2006, 10:10 AM   #4
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

It's not pathetic. Most people need a friend.I too want the same things in a friend as you do. I haven't had real friends for 3 years. The friends before that all left me, when i became depressed, so i guess they weren't real friends either. I'm very shy and find it hard to trust people now. I've sort of given up on making friends i guess. But still get jealous of others who have someone they can truely trust. I have a great boyfriend though, and i am very greatful for him.

we are all here for you.

 
Old 10-23-2006, 10:27 AM   #5
dead_5tar
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

I suppose i have given up. Not that i have really tried. I envy people that are outgoing and that can walk into a place and automatically talk to people and get on. I am always the person in the corner checking people out. Checking to see what they are like, generally observing. Yet i cannot seem to socialise anymore.

I don't wanna sound really sad or anything but i kinda came here not just for the support but in hope to find people i can talk to and that will understand me. It's good to know the other person isn't judging you and understands the blabber that comes falling out of your mouth!

 
Old 10-23-2006, 10:36 AM   #6
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

Quote:
Originally Posted by dead_5tar
.. Is it really that sad and pathetic to just want a friend? someone you know you can call up anytime, can say anything to and they wont judge you. just to know that that person loves you as a person and will never let you down. For you to feel secure when they hold you, and to be able to be yourself with them.

Is this person so hard to find???
Question is do you really want to do the same for other party. Do you want her to call you anytime, do anything for her and so on.
I have friend I will do things for her up to some point and visa versa and it is fine with me.
Toastmaster program can help you a lot with social skills. I went with my husband couple times, I wish I have time to do it.

 
Old 10-23-2006, 12:56 PM   #7
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

I know it is somtimes good to talk about things with someone who won't just get bored of you because you seem down. The last poster made a good point, you also have to make sure you are there for the person too. It shouldn't just be one way.

Last edited by moderator2; 10-23-2006 at 08:38 PM.

 
Old 10-23-2006, 12:56 PM   #8
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

A person who has somebody that is understanding and supportive is very lucky and few and far between.
Most times that is not the case even when we have someone who loves us very much.
The key is supporting yourself . I know having someone who understands makes it much easier to deal with depression but,doing it on your own builds an inner strength that will eventually ground and anchor oneself.
In my opinion,trying to lean on someone leads to disappointment which make things worse.
God Bless those people who have someone who truly supports them.

 
Old 10-23-2006, 01:33 PM   #9
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

I tell myself the same as Prozak has said, by in doing this alone I am going to be stronger for it, but it's twice as hard when you are alone, and each day is a constant slog.

People see me around and say oh you look well, shouldn't you be back at work by now etc ( I can't work for other medical reasons as well) People don't understand that inside your screaming at them to understand

 
Old 10-23-2006, 03:48 PM   #10
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Re: Sad and Pathetic...

I am working many years and believe me work is last place you want people to know that you have a problem which may prevent you to do your job on 100%, foe your coworkers everything should be great. Even if you have a problem it is not something you can't handle and it is not something which can hurt your job. I have coworkers who lost there kids and with sick wifes who needed them to get up real early to help but it doesn't affect there performance.
I had cituation at work when "super" even intentionally gave wrong info to get rid of me for 4.5 y and I've heard nothing but insulting names for a person who can't take care of herself, than "she is so spoiled to show that she feels bad", "she is acting as if just her suffering here", some people stayed aside but a lot did everything to help to finish me.
At the very least it will hate your raises/promotions and can lead to lay off.
You can complain here or find support group, so it would be safe thing to do. That unfortinate that you don't have friend/relative to turn.

 
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