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depression and lost friends

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Old 12-06-2006, 03:19 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 7
bluegecko HB User
depression and lost friends

I've been lurking the past three months and finally decided to register.

I was diagnosed with major depression and am on anti-depressants. After 2 months, I still don't have the magic combination.

Just wondering, has anyone found that most of their friends abandoned them while depressed? I had a group of friends who I hung out with once or twice a week over the past year. I have known most of these people for 3-5 years.

They say they care and they'll contact me if I feel suicidal. Otherwise, they don't call or check up on me, rather I'm expected to contact them if I need anything. And as depressed people, we all know how difficult it can be to take that step. Some have said that they don't know what to say, others have given "advice" that is painful for a depressed person to hear. But how difficult is it to write a short e-mail asking how I am? I feel like they've abandoned me. At least now I know who I can't rely on.

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Old 12-06-2006, 03:50 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 43
bloodyhell HB User
Re: depression and lost friends

Hi bluegecko, welcome to the place. I've noticed the same thing, that friends seem to abandon me when the going gets tough. But in hindsight, I can't really blame them, because I have, with each black hole I have crawled into and out of, learned to make myself unavailable, because I truly wanted to be alone. I didn't reply to their emails, letters, phone messages. It was hard enough to get out of bed each morning. It's not their fault, it's just a clear sign that they truly do not know what to say and what to do. Yes, it seems obvious that they should keep in touch. But in all honesty, I have treated others the same. It's out of my ability when I am depressed to look objectiviely at another's pain and find the right approach, even though I want to reach out and help. We are all only human, and some have learned the skills better than others.
I have found that this site takes up the slack. We are experts at surviving depression.

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