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i moved!!......just a little bit....

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Old 12-07-2006, 01:46 PM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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nance484 HB User
Wink i moved!!......just a little bit....

well today i made a rather scary step-i quit my job. i only have to work the weekend and then im gone. i was crapping myself having to tell my boss as she thinks im a wimp and generally has a dislike for me. she asked me what the personal reasons were-i just said my doctor advised me and then she shut up thankfully.was it her business to ask??-is that not why they call it PERSONAL?!

anyways, my parents have no clue, im so dead. i figure if i can just fake it till xmas eve itll be ok cos i then i can just say that my contract for xmas is thats like two weeks.i feel so guilty looking at them.

i felt like rubbish when i quit, i was gonna cut badly but then when i got home i felt i could persevere-plus im seeing my doc tomorrow and i want to be able to say i only cut once this week. i feel so weak and like some kind of wimp-how can i not keep a 12hr job with UNI?? speaking of UNI im so screwed,i havnt handed in any essays, my coursework is all low marks, i havnt started the other stuff, havnt done any readings from week 3 onwards and my brain just wont focus or function properly. ive had some pretty morbid thoughts this week, everything is so never ending, i sometimes just want to drift off to sleep with some pills-but i wont.

how long do you reckon i should stay off work for?? im already applying for one closer after xmas-just to keep my parents happy. i just feel i cant juggle everything, its like trying to hold 10 gallons of water in my hands. but now at least ive ticked on stress factor off my list and im now going to concentrate on getting caught up with UNI. then tomorrow i see my doc-to talk about this letter im terrified but it has to be done. i feel so rubbish, why does nothing ever work for me??? ugh-ill let you all know hopw my app goes. xox

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Old 12-07-2006, 03:36 PM   #2
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trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
Re: i moved!!......just a little bit....

Right now the focus should be on your health, if possible put the job on the back burner for awhile. Your showing incredible strength and willpower by only cutting once this week, you should feel proud

take care
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds

Old 12-07-2006, 06:37 PM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: scotland, uk
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xxxzoexxx HB User
Re: i moved!!......just a little bit....

I think quiting your job was a good idea, as it seemed to be adding extra stress to you. I've only had one job too, and as time went by it was slowing tearing me apart, eventually i was fired, because i found it so difficult to get up in the morning, that i was late alot. I understand how having a job when depressed is very difficult.

Old 12-08-2006, 06:13 AM   #4
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: i moved!!......just a little bit....

Pucca chick, you sound like you are doing so much better! I agree with everyone else, hold off on the job at least until you can get Uni under control. You are not a wimp! You will look back on this one day and you will wonder how you held yourself together under all of this and did what you did. You have shown incredible strength with what you have done in addition to trying to hold yourself together. When you get past all of this you will think life is a cake walk compared to what you have been doing at this time in your life.

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