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just waiting....

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Old 12-08-2006, 03:19 PM   #1
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nance484 HB User
Arrow just waiting....

well thank god thats over! i seen my doc today-it was brief, she said that it was out of her realm and all she could do now is offer to listen.

she recieved my letter, didnt really mention it, only that ive been referred to a psychiatrist in a few weeks. i want to know what she made of it, im still very much in the dark, i kinda want her to explain it all to me-but i know she cant, she isnt a psychologist or a psyciatrist and i dont think she wants to muck any of my treatment up. she said that when she read my letter it made her sad-i hope this means that im not wrong, that would be the worst. finding out all of this is my own creation and im in the wrong about everything.

now though im in the dark for the next few weeks. i dont see my doc anymore for now cos there is nothing that can be done for me-i have my meds and im referred. it will take about a month for my name to turn up. ive been sent around 3 different places, and this one i have no idea how to even get to, its gonna be so hard but ill have to tell alot of lies to my parents-but hey, its worth it.

im also a bit annoyed. remember i said i quit my job, well you only need a weeks notice, one girl even got off on the very night. turns out she doesnt like me as much. she has put me on timetable for the next 2 weeks, and has more than doubled my hours! the idea was i give up, i finish this week off and go and focus on getting my behind work in, getting started on my new coursework and then sorting out therapy cos by then my name will be up-now ive to rearrange it all and i dont know if i can hack it again-and best of all now i have no doc to talk to-im alone again.

i hate this inbetween phase! can anyone tell me what to expect from my fist appoinment?? im scared.xox

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Old 12-09-2006, 06:51 PM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2006
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Mokie HB User
Re: just waiting....

do you mean first appointment with a psychatrist?? i can tell you my exp...i didn't know what to expect at all. i had been talking with a counselor and she helped me to feel at ease with going to a psy doctor. although she didn't know what to exp either. my counselor at that time told me she was on anti depressants also years ago but got them through her primary doctor. i went that route at first. i had just lost my cat and it was devestating for me so went to my primary doc for check up and all those well woman exams....not fun. my doctor then had me try a couple meds for depression but they didnt' help. so i went a while with just counseling only i was getting worse. so my counselor thought it would be "helpful" to go to a psychiatrist. who can help me more. this doctor talked with me about why i was there. how i was feeling, emotionally and physically. took her maybe 5 minutes to tell me i was in a major depression (the appointment was an hour long) then she told me i needed medication. well, to make a long story short....i like my phychatrist now. she listens to me. takes lots of notes on everything and helps me. she says i'm doing good and don't need to see her for a couple months but also tells me i can come in when ever i want or need to. well, i hope your first exp will be good. :0)

Old 12-09-2006, 08:43 PM   #3
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Re: just waiting....

I have been following your posts over the last couple of months I noticed your immediate support system is not too strong and I am wondering if bringing your parents into the mix. At least you would have someone close by if you are having a bad day. Just an idea.

The first appoinment is usually just a gathering of information. Your history, your biggest worries, etc.

take care
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds

Old 12-10-2006, 06:28 AM   #4
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: just waiting....

Pucca, I think that the doc felt sad after she read your letter because she cares about you and she just felt for what you have been going through. If you need an appt. before your name comes up I am sure she will see you. She said that she would listen to you if you need her.

Old 12-10-2006, 02:12 PM   #5
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nance484 HB User
Re: just waiting....

well im a little bit better-cos i know its so far away. ive bin in a kind of haze, trying to ignore things and trying to be positive. its a weird feeling-like being falsley happy ot something and trying to hide from myself.

im still working until next week its really dragging and feels uphill constantly. i havent cut since last tuesday which is good. im a bit annoyed-my memory is turning to crap. i cant remember things, i would normally have a good memory of conversations that matter to me, almost like a movie, i remember tone and pitch and facial expression -i can imitate them to a tee, but recently everything is fading, conversations, appointments, dates, comments, were ive been. i dont remember the week before really and i forget everything-evern what my doc has said to me, i keep making stupid mistakes in everything and am in a bit of a trance a lot. i feel everything is catching up on me and ive no control.

about bringing my parents into the mix-no way still. ive thought about it and if push comes to shuv ill tell them im at a counsellor for anxiety when speaking in class-that i was refferred for a short course to help me make presentations for my grades-but that it and only if its an absolute must!

do you know if i still see my GP once i go to the psych-i liked my GP she was good to talk to, i felt she did care. in a freaky kind of way ill miss her, i feel like such a loser-i want to be freinds with my doc i wont actually go ahead with this, its just id like to have a freind just like her-who i can open up to, she is the first person who i ever told about any of this and she has shown me real compassion- not to mention pateince! she is alot older than me opbviously-it feels like she is a proper adult and i trust her in what she tells me. i want to please her now. anyone else like this?? xox

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