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Feel I have abandoned my friend.

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Old 12-26-2006, 04:34 AM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 465
Therag HB User
Feel I have abandoned my friend.

I have been feeling overwhelmingly guilty for the past two years o'r so, the reason being that I feel that I have abandoned my friend who is also my second cousin.

We had been close since we were kids, and throughout school(we are both the same age, 25) When we left school at 16 (the leaving age here in Uk) I went to college, but he had no intention of ever doing anything apart from being on benefits, while I have worked since I was 19. Now at 25 he still hasn't worked a day since leaving school! I tried my best to persuade him to come to work in the same place as me but he didn't want to.

I used to visit him atleast once a week, because he never goes out of the house, but gradually I visited him less and less often. I haven't even seen him now since Christmas two years ago, and he only lives a 5 minute walk away!

To be honest, I feel that we have not much in common anymore. I know this sounds bad but I actually started to dread visiting him, because he had become bitter towards everyone, and I felt it was having a negative effect on me, and my outlook on life.

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Old 12-26-2006, 05:15 AM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 52
Calamity3039 HB User
Re: Feel I have abandoned my friend.

As life goes on people grow apart. I have a friend that I was very close to growing up. We lead two completely different lives and have a few things in common. We didn't intentionally mean that to happen, but it life. We still stay in contact and catch up each other. Do you still keep in contact with each other at all?

Old 12-26-2006, 08:12 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,006
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Feel I have abandoned my friend.

Therag, I think stuff like this needs to be looked at with eye toward balance. He needs to change his own behavior. It is great if you can be a support for him and give him encouragement, etc., but if it starts to drag you down you cannot continue. It's like the mother bird and her babies. If a snake is coming to eat them the mother bird cannot risk her own life to save them because this would be useless because the babies would die without their mother.

Old 12-26-2006, 11:44 AM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Bradenton, FL USA
Posts: 5
texan7 HB User
Re: Feel I have abandoned my friend.

I would not feel guilty, as I have an idea of what you feel. But I am kind of worried about your friend. Something is wrong with him if he is withdrawing from everyone. I offer no advice as to what to do, just concern for him is all.

Old 12-26-2006, 12:30 PM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 465
Therag HB User
Re: Feel I have abandoned my friend.

Hi thankyou all for your replies.

Calamity -No I haven't been in touch as he doesn't even bother swithching on his mobile phone.

Sannah- Yeah that's true what you are saying, I have to think about myself.

texan7- I have always been concerned about him. In school he was the more sociable one, and I was quiet but then as soon as we left school he changed and just gave up with everything.

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