It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Depression Message Board

Living with what you've done


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-16-2007, 06:08 PM   #1
joblix
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: england
Posts: 5
joblix HB User
Unhappy Living with what you've done

My depression was undiagnosed for years as I got my self deeper and deeper in to a debt that I was in denial from when I was in my little fantasy world I could pretend to be so happy , treat my kids whom I adore then the harsh reality would strike , I work hard paid a little back and then spent more etc etc.

Now my family have bailed me out after 5 years of suffering in silence my depression is out in the open, but sometimes I catch my husband looking at me in such a way that tells me he may never forgive me and it all my fault, it's hard living with that level og guilt

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-16-2007, 08:35 PM   #2
Dakota_Skye
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 1,400
Dakota_Skye HB User
Re: Living with what you've done

hey joblix,

we all make mistakes!! show me a person in this world who doesn't feel guilty about something, or who hasn't done something they regret.
secondly, i really don't believe it was your fault. when you're depressed, you don't think clearly and rationally. at least, now, you're aware of what you did in the past, and i'm sure you're working very hard to set things right.

most important of all though, is the fact that you have to forgive yourself more than anyone else around you. i really think that with time you will be ok!!
good luck!
__________________
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...

 
Old 03-17-2007, 04:54 PM   #3
Kiasmama
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 607
Kiasmama HB User
Re: Living with what you've done

Someone said something to me the other day...it was so silly...but it makes so much sense.

She asked...."what night of the week do you take your garbage out" and I said usually thursday. She then said "well you don't go back and smell it on saturday do you?"

It made so much sense.....once it's out....it's out...why keep going back and revisiting. It won't change anything.... And maybe ask yourself...are you really interpreting his look correctly? Ya know with depression...we tend to look at the negative. So maybe tell yourself....Hey..that's NOT what that look is about! You have the power to interpret that look....so why not interpret it in a positive way. Or....just ask him

I've found when I actually someone something...instead of giving it my interpretation...I was usually wayyyyyy off and made it ten times worse than it actually was.

And I hear ya on the debt. Been there...climbed out...but...that garbage is out!

 
Old 03-19-2007, 07:39 AM   #4
Sannah
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,005
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Living with what you've done

Joblix, did you talk to your husband about all of this?

 
Old 03-19-2007, 02:02 PM   #5
Dakota_Skye
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 1,400
Dakota_Skye HB User
Re: Living with what you've done

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiasmama View Post
Someone said something to me the other day...it was so silly...but it makes so much sense.

She asked...."what night of the week do you take your garbage out" and I said usually thursday. She then said "well you don't go back and smell it on saturday do you?"
Been there...climbed out...but...that garbage is out!
hi kiasmama,

loved that metaphor!!!!!!!!
keep them coming!
__________________
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...

 
Old 03-19-2007, 03:19 PM   #6
joblix
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: england
Posts: 5
joblix HB User
Re: Living with what you've done

Hi Kiasmama and the group

Thanks for all your supportive words it's been quite wierd talking on this site because I had kept my depression safely under wraps until new years day this year when I finally lost it , I 've been on citalopram since then and the doctor wants me to go for specialist concelling to trey to get to the bottom of why I have lived in such a semi real world for such a long time keeping the reality of my financial mess under wraps until it all came tumbling out in January.

Its been an awful year so far my husband is a nice guy who never doubted he could trust me and now struggles to even look at me in the wake of the major changes we ve had to make financially to sort my mess out , I wonder if he'll ever truly forgive me for what I've done ,I never meant to do it , it just got worse under my nose and on the rare occasions I could bear to face it I would just convince myself it would all go away.

I just feel so pathetic and so guilty , I have worked with people with mental health problems for years and having quite an insight into depression just makes me feel worse.

Sometimes I feel like it was better just living the nightmare now its all out in the open I seem to suffer just as much from the gult of what I've done. Thanks for reading this , I hope everyone finds something in life that will help them cope a little better- I wish I had looked for help before I ended up in such a mess.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
what types on nonmedication thing have you done for your anxiety? beach8411 Anxiety 15 02-16-2007 10:53 PM
What's the longest anxiety/panic attack you've ever had? twizliz Anxiety 9 06-18-2005 10:35 AM
i'm new- but you've helped alot ritz224 Lupus 6 03-14-2005 11:29 AM
Bad breath has changed my personality:Part 2 Godisgood Women's Health 618 01-14-2005 11:33 PM
you've probably heard it all before...sorry but i've got questions :) soccerspeed Thyroid Disorders 62 11-27-2004 10:10 AM
I'd be glad to hear input if you've got some... Ninispjc Relationship Health 235 11-03-2004 05:30 AM
What weird/funny things have you done while psychotic? Mikayyla Bipolar Disorder 14 08-13-2004 03:07 PM
What's the meanest thing you've done to your dh ? chrislove Pregnancy 17 06-04-2003 12:43 PM
What you've tried for clearing acne scars/red marks and success rate Amycola83 Acne 6 05-13-2003 04:55 PM
You can only get an IUD if you've already had children?? Ravenna Sexual Health - Women 3 01-08-2003 09:09 PM




Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:58 PM.





Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!