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  • Sannah, I am losing it again...

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    Old 06-05-2007, 08:50 AM   #16
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    nonono, You have got it slightly wrong here, it's not my show tonite (I wish it was, but a bit too early for me), it's the 3rd year, but exactly this time next year, you are invited to my show.

    Anyway. got to go and help them set things up. You have a good day and I will catch you later.

     
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    Old 06-05-2007, 04:24 PM   #17
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Sannah Sannah, my dearest CyberMum, you are going to have to say WELL DONE to me and give me a big big hug on what I have I just done or what I am going to do. I have just written a letter with all the concerns I have been having towards my team, and I have sent it to my possible future boss (the very nice and objective one) to check and beautify it for me. Then I will give it to my current boss, it's 5 pages long... I cant believe I actually did it, what a big step... I could show you if you want... I am feeling much better now, dont know how long this feeling would last, coz my chest pain doesnt seem to go away, but anyway, I am happy overall.

    The opening went really well, I didn't really enjoy it fully coz I did feel quite anxious, so I had to keep walking up and down, in and out to sort of keep myself busy, but yeah, that was a good evening. Oh dear, I have a feeling the normal me might be coming back soon. Cant wait for that...

    Last edited by ExTra111; 06-05-2007 at 04:25 PM.

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 11:57 AM   #18
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Darling Cyberdaughter, I am proud of you! You are on your way girl! Keep me posted.

    Your CyberMum

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 03:00 PM   #19
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Hello, how are you today?? My dear CyberMum? Hope you are well... I just got back from Mr. A, we went for a photo shoot with my normal gear, I mean the proper proper gear. I was sooooooo scared to set it up, and I was kind of all the way through, and I had to get Mr.A to check everything for me, I felt like a loser to be honest, but let he be the hero... Men like it, don't they?

    Today has been kind of fine, has been up and down qutie a bit, and I think I am certainly going to leave my job sooner than I thought I would, I cant stand them anymore, they were annoying me again today, now it really has gone to a personal level... they really are driving me nuts... Mr.A told me to just take it easy, and dont think about it, but you know, it's hard not to think about it, the more I tell myself to let it go, the more it stays in my mind, and it's really causing all my anxiety and negative thoughts. I have even been thinking about how to beat them up, and I think I have mentioned to my frd once I wish I had a gun and shoot them all... I wont do it, coz I have no idea where to get a gun in England, but it would be good, problem solved...

    Anyway, lovely doctor appointment again tomorrow, I am really getting tired of all these appointments....

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 03:20 PM   #20
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    CDE, I am fine. Yeah, ignoring what bothers you doesn't work for me either. Do you want to talk about the specifics of what they are doing?

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 03:32 PM   #21
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Well, according what I was told, I still "owe" one of them a shift coz I was sick last week, whatever, and at no point I have said I wont return the shift. She has been calling me not asking, but telling rather of when should I return the shift to her. But the thing is, if I cant do the dates that she wants coz I am not available coz of college or whatever else it might be, I just cant, and she doesnt understnad this simple theory. And she has been shouting at me about how selfish I am by not returning the favor she did for me (remember I have never asked her to cover for me ever, so she didnt have to do it) yet. She has been calling me, and if I dont answer coz I cant, her manner gets even wworse when I do finally answer her call... anyway, my phone has been ringing all day long today from the same stupid person.

    Also, two members of the team somehow is getting away of take at least 3 weeks of this month and in Aug without noticing the managment and indeed me, it's not fair. I think I am just gonna leave the job as soon as the summer holiday begins, so they will all be messed me... coz I know my manager will not be bother to get a replacement for just 2 months.

    Last edited by ExTra111; 06-06-2007 at 03:33 PM.

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 03:38 PM   #22
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Yeah, that place sounds like trouble. Can you tell yourself something so that you can then just let it go? Like that place is trouble and I shouldn't let such a place upset me (don't take it personally)?

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 03:47 PM   #23
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Well, I supposed I could try, but it's really hard to not to take it personally, coz they are doing this anginst me to a personal level in soem respects. And I normally take things quuite personally anyway. I dont know how can I stop myself thinking about it really, I guess I have been keepning myself qutie busy in the past few days is the way I stop me thinking about it... I dont know, it's hard, it really is...

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 03:47 PM   #24
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Well, I supposed I could try, but it's really hard to not to take it personally, coz they are doing this anginst me to a personal level in soem respects. And I normally take things quuite personally anyway. I dont know how can I stop myself thinking about it really, I guess I have been keepning myself qutie busy in the past few days is the way I stop me thinking about it... I dont know, it's hard, it really is...

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 03:57 PM   #25
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    CDE, it really isn't personal. The management told her it was a trade when it really shouldn't have been (those wimps!). She is just trying to get back what management told her. You could be anyone else on the team and it would still happen.

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 04:04 PM   #26
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    I have never actually been focusing on the acutal swaping thing, coz for god sake, it's just an extra shift, I dont really care about it. The matter is really her manner and the way she talks to me, and what she has told me, she has said something pretty personal towards me and they have nothing to do with the shift I owe her. And I guess I am also really annoyed by the constant phone calls she makes, I cant answer your call, it means I am busy, leave me a message or sth, but stop call me. You know what I mean? Oh god, I am getting angry again... why cant they just leave me alone?

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 04:05 PM   #27
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    What has she said?

     
    Old 06-06-2007, 05:43 PM   #28
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Dont really wanna talk abt it again really, but basically she has been saying how selfish I am as a person in general, the way I treat people, and how nasty and rude I am coz I dont answer my phone from time to time. Anyway, I shouldn't really let this bother me anymore, but I just can find a way to not think about it...

     
    Old 06-07-2007, 09:07 AM   #29
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    CDE, I am telling you, I don't think that it is personal. She is just trying to get you to do what she wants and she will tell you anything to get you to do it. Maybe you can't stop thinking about it because you really value what other people think about you. You must learn to be strong and secure about who you are so when folks come around and try to manipulate you, you can ignore their comments and focus on the truth and what is really going on in any situation.

     
    Old 06-07-2007, 12:48 PM   #30
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    I will try, my dear... btw, she was bugging me again today, she hasnt even got the basic manner any human being should have - be respect and polite when talking to people. I am tired of all these childish acts...

    How are you today? I went to my doctor again today, it want alrite, it was the first time she didnt give me anything new to take, great... she thinks I have improved, so do I, well, a bit. But there are still a couple of things just came out of mouth that I couldnt explain to her. And of cause she wanted to know in details wht did I mean, I suppose I could tell her my truth feelings, but I just didnt want to let her know. I still cant be totally honest with her, not that I dont trust her, but I just didnt want to explain it.

    Have another appointment with the mental health team next week, it's gonna be a Doctor seeing me, I guess it's likely to be another assessment. I am really tired with all these, why do I have to repeat myself again agian and again?

    Last edited by ExTra111; 06-07-2007 at 12:51 PM.

     
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