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  • Sannah, I am losing it again...

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    Old 06-14-2007, 01:53 PM   #61
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    I dont know, I just do, not just a pro, anyone really. And I dont know if you remember I started a tread about childhood a while ago, I acutually dont have a lot memories of my childhood, I only really remember things in the past few years. I might be automatically avioding some bad memories from teh past that I am not aware off. I dont know if you get what I mean, but I just generally dun like people asking or me talking about my past.

     
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    Old 06-14-2007, 01:57 PM   #62
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    I used to be like that with average people because I was ashamed of my upbringing and I guess myself. With professionals, however, I would just let it all out. I think that you need to push forward and face your fears, this is where the issues are and how you solve them.

     
    Old 06-14-2007, 02:03 PM   #63
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    I know, I keep telling myself I have to be as honest as I can when I see my doctor, but every single time, I sound better than I actually am. Like I would refuse to tell her certain things that matter... coz I am ashamed of myself...

     
    Old 06-14-2007, 02:10 PM   #64
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    CDE, you must work past this shame. You did not make yourself this way, your upbringing did.

     
    Old 06-14-2007, 02:19 PM   #65
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Ok My dear CyberMum, I will try tomorrow, can I borrow some of your guts tomorrow then? It might help...

     
    Old 06-14-2007, 02:41 PM   #66
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Yes, you may borrow them! I would be happy to share!

     
    Old 06-14-2007, 02:44 PM   #67
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    I promise I will return them, once the appointments are over... yes, I havr 2 appointments tomorrow, exciting, huh?

    Anyway, dunno why, but you make me laugh, in a good way... thanks... love you...

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 12:55 PM   #68
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Ok, another day is wasted... They got my appointment messed up... now I have to wait for another 2 weeks to see someone... oh well... mistakes do happen...

    Went back to my GP today, we did the test again, the same old test, I borke my own record from last time... god... when am I going to get better? She is not giving up on me for certain, but I think I am getting a bit out of her hand, she is running out of ideas of how to help me, and she wanted me to go see a psychiatrist asap. Yes, we do have an emergenery kind of Psychiartry Hostital in London, and it's like 20mins away from where I live, handy isn't it? She wanted me to go tonight, but I really dont feel like going to a total stranger again and happen to explain everything all over again... I am really tired with all them...

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 01:35 PM   #69
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    CDE, I am sorry.....

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 05:02 PM   #70
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    I am going to that hosptial tomorrow, but I am not going to let them keep me there, no chance... absolutely no chance... and I am not gong to wait more than 1 hour, if I dont get to see anyone within an hour, I will be gone... that's the deal. Thanks to Josie my flatmate who has been supre supportive and who is going with me tomorrow...

    I really need to get back on track within the next 2 months, yap, 2 months is my absolute deadline for everything, if not then, everything would be finished...

     
    Old 06-16-2007, 09:49 AM   #71
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Dearest CyberDaughter, how did it go today?

    CyberMum

     
    Old 06-16-2007, 10:03 AM   #72
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    To both my dear Cyber Mum and dear Dakota, I am sorry, but I didnt go to the hosptial, we nearly went, but I was too tired to have to explain everything all over again to a stranger, I dont care wheather if that person is pro or not, I just dun want to talk anymore... I just wanna lock myself in my room and do nothing...

    Last edited by ExTra111; 06-16-2007 at 10:03 AM.

     
    Old 06-16-2007, 11:26 AM   #73
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    CDE, stay safe....

     
    Old 06-16-2007, 04:55 PM   #74
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    I didnt take me med today, I know I should have, but I actually have felt differnet, not better, not worse, but just different, and I perfer this feeling...

    My dear CyberMum, I dunno what to do now, I have been thinking a lot lately about my portfolio, we have got 1 more week of college, then I cant imagine how I would be when the summer holiday begins. Now I can just barely force myself to go out, to go use the darkroom, coz I know I need to get my portfolio together for the summer in case I need it. But after this week, all the facilities will be closed for 3 months, and I would lose my last bit of motivation to get my days going... also, I dont know if I have ever told you, but I am much closer to the 3rd year then my own year, and most of them are leaving for good soon, and I know it would be very hard to see them again in the near future. Yeah, so using the darkroom and seeing my good friends have kind keep me going these days, but after next week, I reallly cant imagine how would I be able to keep myself going... I have not been so NOT looking forward to the summer holiday, and for god sake, it might well be my last summer holiday ever, so I really should enjoy it as much as I can, but I just cant imagine I will in any way...

    Anyway, I dunno what am I saying, I just wanted get these out of my mind...

    CDExTra

    Last edited by ExTra111; 06-16-2007 at 04:56 PM.

     
    Old 06-16-2007, 05:52 PM   #75
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    Re: Sannah, I am losing it again...

    Dearest CyberDaughter, you will find a way to get through this, you will. I am so glad that you "got this out of your mind". Now you just need to make plans for the summer? Can you teach anyone photography like at a school (not college) or something or at a community center (volunteering)?

    Your CyberMum

    Last edited by Sannah; 06-16-2007 at 05:53 PM.

     
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