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    Old 06-27-2007, 04:45 PM   #16
    neffly71
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    Unhappy Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    hi-
    I am trying very hard to deal with my feelings regarding this situation. The thing is, I guess I don't think that I will ever have kids of my own, and so my close relationship with my nephew became like a father/son relationship. Are there any fathers out there who are so close with their sons, that they are almost like best friends too? If so, have you ever felt this spearation when they begin to get older? Do sons normally turn away from their close relationship with their dads? Bottom line is: my nephew is like the closest person to me right now, and I feel really abandoned. I am trying to just suck it up, and be adult about it, but I guess I am more sensitive than I thought. DOES ANYONE OUT THERE HAVE ANY MORE GOOD ADVICE?? I can't talk to anybody about this issue!!!

     
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    Old 06-28-2007, 10:13 AM   #17
    jujubeez725
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    Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    JB,

    You have to allow your nephew the space he needs.
    You've really become very close to him; but now, it's time to accept that he's growing up and will eventually become a grown man who'll have his own responsibilities.

    You sound like you've got other issues possibly going on.
    You're taking it as he's rejecting YOU, but he's just becoming more independent, which is what he's supposed to do.

    Perhaps there's a therapist or even a support group where you can discuss separation anxiety

     
    Old 06-28-2007, 03:51 PM   #18
    Survivor3
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    Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    I'm with the pp. Other issues seem likely. See what a counselor thinks.

     
    Old 07-01-2007, 05:50 PM   #19
    neffly71
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    Unhappy Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    I cannot afford counseling, or seeing a therapist. I just want to chat with people here that are kind, non-judgemental, and compassionate. I am hurting a lot right now, and I need people who can listen. I cannot trust anyone in my family............OK? I cannot. They are all going about their business, and they would tell me to get a grip, or to suck it up. That is the extent of my family's willingness to be there for me. I can't think of what to do next. I know there are other issues, but that does not make this hurting any less agonizing to me. Help. Please.

     
    Old 07-06-2007, 10:26 AM   #20
    Seymour93
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    Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    Do you have a friend to talk with? Maybe all your eggs are in one basket so to speak...........Good luck

     
    Old 07-09-2007, 01:09 PM   #21
    neffly71
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    Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    I have a close friend, but he has his own stuff to deal with ( new mortgage, job, realtionship probs) so I can't really talk to him about it that much, Besides, I have always been the listener in that relationship

     
    Old 07-09-2007, 06:20 PM   #22
    mary09
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    Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    Hi JB,
    Just my two cents...but I agree with the other posters, in that your nephew is just feeling his way through independence. He is 18 years old. It is the most natural thing for him to want right now to be with his friends, girlfriends, exploring life. It seems you are very attached to him, but this could very well be overwhelming to him, especially at his age. If he feels (and I apologize if this is the wrong word)..suffocated...he may really start to resent this. Give him his space and as most teenagers do, they exert their independence, and then they settle down again. I know you say you are closer to him than anyone in your family...but this is alot of pressure to put on him. I am speaking from experience. You dont want him to feel that he is the only positive thing in your life. I think this could really push him away, like I said, too much pressure. You obviously love him as if he were your son...so as a parent, you need to let him go a little in order for him to come back.
    No...dont let him be rude to you...of course....just let him know when he has time, you'd like to catch up. Maybe go for dinner with him and his girlfriend, but once in a while. If he is now with a girlfriend, it is so very natural, they are so "all about each other" right now. And that does in no way mean he no longer cares about you. We've all done that, gone through that phase where we can see no one but our "first love".
    I hope this helps, good luck...just give him some space, and he'll come back!!!
    In the meantime, maybe try getting out some more yourself. Someone mentioned your "eggs in one basket"...sounds like this is true. Time to reach out and make some new friends, that are just for you!!!

    Best wishes,
    ******

     
    Old 07-09-2007, 11:40 PM   #23
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    Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    I understand how you feel. I have a 15 yr old (today is his birthday). He can really be hateful sometimes. I am no longer the one he confides in. He likes to play video games on the internet and talk on *****. He also thinks that he knows everything and I don't have a clue. It hurts sometimes so I know how you feel, but I also think that some of this behavior is teaching him how to leave the nest one day. Because like it or not I will have to let him go one day. I will tell you that although most of the time he thinks that I am really not cool, every now and then he will give me the most beautiful smile and want to spend time with me. Right now he is sitting beside me watching tv. I can't believe it. Just know that teenagers think of themselves alot and don't think about how they may hurt someone else{I am not saying all teenagers are like this}. I didn't realize how much I appreciated my parents until my 20's and this grows every day. My mother is now gone, but I still have my father and he is now my best friend. So don't give up on your nephew, he sounds like he is just all wrapped up with his girlfriend. Is this his first real relationship?

     
    Old 07-10-2007, 06:33 PM   #24
    Seymour93
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    Re: feeling rejected by my teenage son

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jesusbuddha71;30***88
    I have a close friend, but he has his own stuff to deal with ( new mortgage, job, realtionship probs) so I can't really talk to him about it that much, Besides, I have always been the listener in that relationship
    Maybe you need to talk with your friend about the relationship. No friendship is 50-50, but one should be able to vent with a close friend....... in a time of need.

     
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