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  • Abandonment issues!

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    Old 06-29-2007, 04:18 PM   #1
    Dutches
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    Angry Abandonment issues!

    I don't know if this is the right board but I didn't know were else to go with this issue. I've been through a lot in the past few months, don't want to get into that right now, but it had to do with a relationship break up. The break up was necessary, but I’m feeling depressed, even though I'm always smiling and feel positive towards life and people I have this big pressure in my chest that releases crying spells every couple of hours.

    I feel like cutting people out of my life, though they haven't done anything to me!!!! I'm so mad and hurt that I just want to spend time by myself and shut the world out!!! It's not that i'm being negative towards people...I don't know, I'm just mad and sad!!!! I'm very afraid that no one will be able to love me for an extended time..... I do love myself and take care of myself and I try to extend myself alot to other.... It's just that it seems to me that people are always leaving me.....or don't care about what happens to me.

    I have friends that I know love me but I can't help but feel so sad and lost that no one needs me...I'm so sensitive to everything!!!Am I just inseccure or am I having abandoment issues?? I FEEL STUPID POSTING THIS.... I’m a type of person that always needs to be strong for every one. I realy feel like I’m sounding like a weakling right now!

    Last edited by Dutches; 06-29-2007 at 11:59 PM.

     
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    Old 06-29-2007, 07:42 PM   #2
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    Getting over a break up can take a long time. I once heard a rule that the amount of time you were in the relationship is how long it will take you to get over it. It's ok to be hurt. And I definitly think it's ok to take the time you need to get over it. Don't feel ashamed of your sadness. The people that truly love you will allow you the time to grieve and will be there when you need them. That's why they're friends. If weeks and weeks pass and you still feel overwhelmingly blue, then perhaps go see someone about it. But getting over a relationship takes time and healing.

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 12:08 AM   #3
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    I heard the same...actually, i heared it only takes fifty % of the same time you were with the person......That means I have 3 months to go.....we werere together 10 months....

    Thanks for responding Serra.... I was so upst earlier I needed to vent. I went out tonight, though I didn't realy feel like it, I had a good or better "tipsy night.Good night!

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 04:34 AM   #4
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    Hope you had a good night. It's sometimes helpful to force yourself to get out! Be with other human beings rather than isolate yourself. But give yourself some time! And don't be so hard on yourself!

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 02:08 PM   #5
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    I just miss my ex so much! Though I can't be with her, I'm having a hard time seeing myself with out her.... Iím fine on my own everything seemed more fun when she was around! I guess your right; I just have to give myself some time!

    How are you? Are you married or seeing someone?

     
    Old 07-01-2007, 06:03 AM   #6
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    I'm married. Have been for two years. My husband is a great man, but he's having a difficult time dealing with me right now. Depression sure is a marriage killer. He's trying. I don't blame him. It's just me and this stupid depression that I can't seem to shake!! I was single a long time before I met my husband because I was tired of getting my heart broken all the time. Relationships are so hard, the hardest when they end and you're not ready! I actually spent some time recently with my high school sweetheart. We were together for four years. We broke up over ten years ago. But seeing him again brought it all back and there were a few days where I was inconsolable. And I've had ten years to get over it!!! It isn't always easy!

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 09:40 AM   #7
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    How long have you had your depression? Are you seeing a therapist for it?

    Youíre so right, ending a relationship when youíre not ready to let the other person go is so.... hurtful and frustrating at the same time!

    It took me 12 years, and many sleepless nights, to get over my high school sweet heart. The first big love is always a remind on how painful love can be...

    I'm also more then tired of getting my heart broken! I really don't choice the right people for myself. It's like I unconsciously, pick people that are not going to give me what I need, so I can keep coming to this same death end... I guess I'm making more out of it, that's probably just life and this society that we live in now. It seems to me man and women are all confused about what we want from each other....

    I don't see myself dating for quite a while...

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 09:53 AM   #8
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    Just wanted to drop in to say I love ya, and I"m think of you!

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 10:21 AM   #9
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    thanks Dee,..thought you forgot about me...; )

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 10:46 AM   #10
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    I could never do that, just had some problems I had to deal with. I missed you!

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 10:57 AM   #11
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    I read..! you have been dealing with a whole lot. Sorry...((((HUGS))))
    How are you? You seem to be in a good spirit today....

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 10:59 AM   #12
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    miss you tooooooo my angel!

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 11:05 AM   #13
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    I'm doing good.. I try not to dwell on things but sometimes it's just too hard!

    What is up with Storm?

    Last edited by Dee-nah; 07-02-2007 at 11:07 AM.

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 11:07 AM   #14
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    Hi Dutches,

    You know maybe a good therapist can get to the root of why you keep hooking up with people that are not good choices for you? There are also books on why we choose the wrong person for us. Maybe this would help stop the cycle and the heartache?

    Try not to think about her but think about yourself and where you want to go with you life. Once you heal yourself you will be in a better place to make a wise choice with the next relationship.

    I'm sorry you are feeling so down.


    Take Care,


    Luckygem

     
    Old 07-02-2007, 11:21 AM   #15
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    Re: Abandonment issues!

    that was a BP moment, hi Lucky!

     
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