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    Old 07-05-2007, 04:28 PM   #1
    stormynite2
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    Question Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Hello! I have a 16 year old daughter who was prescribed depression pills today and I am worried about her. As a parent I feel that I have failed her. I have seen a change in her the las couple of years, but just thought that it was phases she was going through.

    We went to the doctors last week for a check up and found out that she has an underactive thyroid. I researched hypothyroidism on the net and found out that she has a lot of the symptoms. One of them was depression. We went back to the doctors today for her thyroid and then they also put her on EFFEXOR XR.

    For my daughter being 16 she doesn't talk on the phone, she doesn't leave the house(as she has developed social anxiety), she doesn't even talk to me anymore. She doesn't want to talk about her feelings. I've always tried to keep an open relationship with her. I'm very worried about her and I feel stressed out and sad as a parent. I don't know what to do. I hate knowing she is feeling like she is(that is whatever little I know). This is my only child and I don't know what to do. Is this the place that has support on here? Is there anyone out there that knows what I"m going through?? Please if there is let me know. Thank you!

    Stormynite2

     
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    Old 07-05-2007, 04:38 PM   #2
    trg247
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Hi:

    Welcome to the boards and sorry it had to be under these circumstances. This board can be a great place for support and to just let out any frustrations you may have. Your daughter might find this site helpful as well.

    People act differently when they are going through depression and withdrawl is pretty common at all ages. The best piece of advice is just remind your daughter that you are going to be there. I would see if she wanted to talk to a counselor or therapist as some people find it easier to talk to them.

    My concern right now is the med. Effexor is one of the strongest on the market and is black label meaning there is a chance of an increase in suicidal behavior and ideation especially to those under the age of eighteen. Most doctors have stopped prescribing it to young adults and children. Effexor is also really hard on the body with a wide variety of side effects. I don't mean to scare you but it is important that you are informed.

    take care
    trg247
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    Old 07-05-2007, 06:01 PM   #3
    jules3
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Stormy, did anything in her life change recently? a move, boyfriend problem, is she being bullied at all? Will her doc talk to you at all? is she harming herself? tell us more so we can all try to help.

     
    Old 07-05-2007, 06:55 PM   #4
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Hi Stormy,
    I'm glad you found this board. I came here originally looking for help for my mom, who suffers from depression. I can not imagine trying to help a child through it. Like Trg said, tell her that you will be there, that is really important. For me, because I dont suffer from depression, I could not understand it. But it's difficult to help someone then, when you really cant get inside their mind. So I tried to educate myself about it, and the best thing I found was this board. The best advice you can get is from people who deal with depression on a daily basis, they live and breathe it. And the people here are always willing to help someone else, and to help their loved ones.
    I would question also like Jules...has anything major happened in her life lately?

    Sorry you needed to come here but I hope you can find some help for your daughter and yourself.

    ******

     
    Old 07-05-2007, 07:17 PM   #5
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Hi Stormy...
    Welcome to the board! I am so, so sorry about what you're going through. I don't have any good advice, but wanted to say welcome aboard!
    I'm just curious, are they treating her with medications for her thyroid? I know that the thyroid can be huge when keying in with depression. Maybe if they can get her thyroid under control, my guess is, she'll start feeling much better. The only thing that I can suggest to you, is what everyone else has already said. Be open and available with her. And be easy on yourself as well. Most of the time, depression is a medical illness...like diabetes, or asthma. Sometime, it stems from situational reasons, and sometimes a mixture of both. But from the sounds of it, your daughters' depression is coming from a medical issue...more than likely the thyroid issue. Maybe setting a night where you and her can go have some pie, or something like that. Something in a relaxed setting, to where she will feel safe talking to you, without the fear of you getting upset or angry with her? I don't know, Stormy. For me, I have a hard time sitting at home talking to my husband about what I'm feeling, but if I'm in a restaurant, having coffee, or pie, or something like that, it's easier for me to open up...just because I know he's not going to get mad, or at least if he does, it still gives me the chance to talk about things and get everything out first...since we are in a public place! Just a thought!
    Good luck with your daughter, you've come to a great place to find support!
    Amber

     
    Old 07-05-2007, 08:40 PM   #6
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Hi Stormynite. I'm so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. My daughter and I have been there and I want to tell you that there is light at the end of the seemingly endless dark tunnel. Is your daughter in therapy of any kind? I think that any depression meds prescribed to teens needs to be used as a tool in conjunction with therapy. My daughter was first placed on prozac and later it was changed to paxil. She's been off that for about two years now. As has been said, several of these types of anti depression drugs have been linked to suicidal thoughts in teens, which is why close monitoring by a doctor or therapist is always a must in my opinion. Please get her into therapy, sessions with and without you. The medication can only help the symptom, it can't get at what really may be troubling your little girl. Hang in there.

     
    Old 07-06-2007, 07:25 AM   #7
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Try not to blame yourself. You sound like a very caring parent and you are doing the best you can.

     
    Old 07-06-2007, 11:22 AM   #8
    stormynite2
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Thank you for responding to me. To answer some questions, we moved to a new state 4 yrs ago. She wasen't too happy about that but I thought she would adjust as lots of kids do. She is doing ok in school, but she doesn't do anything else. No talking on the phone like a typical teenager, no boys, doesn't go out and do anything. She is over weight and I know that has something to do with it. Her outlet is the puter. I know she has some site she goes to and types like this I just don't know where. If it helps her I think it's great! But I also wonder what other kids are saying to her. When I walk by she minimizes the screen.

    As far as the thyroid goes, they are running more tests on her to see where to start her on the thyroid meds, then they are going to do an ultrasound. The doc thought it was importiant to start her on Effexor as depression has run on my side of the family with my Aunt, Dad, Grandma ect.... I don't know about this Effexor as the most my daughter has ever taken was vitamins.

    My daughter and I use to be close. We could talk about anything. I've always wanted an open relationship with her. I tell her she can tell me anything and I won't judge her. I just want to be there for her. But then she just blows me off. And I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her sometimes cuz she gets adjitated with me or says yeah, yeah. I just feel like I'm losing her and I don't know what to do. I feel awful latley and have cried myself to sleep the last couple of nites. Can anyone tell me if they know what I"m going through or what to do, or how to know if the Effexor is making her worse, as I've heard not very good things about it. Should I ask the doctor to switch it??? Thanks everybody!

     
    Old 07-06-2007, 12:15 PM   #9
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Welcome to the boards, Stormy!

    I hope your daughter is feeling better. Sorry she's going through this.
    I've heard that thyroid problems are a big contributor to depression, weight gain/loss and other things.

    I'm glad to hear you got her checked out.

     
    Old 07-06-2007, 01:18 PM   #10
    Therag
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Hi. It's hard to see the viewpoint of dear ones when a person is depressed. I have depression and I'm sure that my mother feels that she has failed me. That's not the case; You have not failed your daughter! Depression is a horrible illness and sometimes we don't realise how it affects our loved ones.

     
    Old 07-06-2007, 01:27 PM   #11
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    I know exactly what you are going through and how you feel. Reading your story, it could be me and my youngest daughter to a "T"!! Right down to the age, weight issues, being anti social, etc. Can't tell you how many times I've broken down this past school year. Through much counseling and meds, currently on cymbalta, seems to be doing better. Unless it's because she's not in school; she was deactivated and had to take 2 summer classes and 2 correspondence classes because she just "could not finish the last 3 weeks of school"!! I'm already getting anxious about school resuming next month. I pray every day she'll make it!
    Hang in there. Things will get better. Meds do take awhile to start working and you'll need to keep an eye out for any changes with her. You're not alone and yes, you're in the right place. Everyone on here is wonderful! Keep us posted on how things are going. Remember, there is someone else out there kinda in your shoes - me! Take care...

     
    Old 07-07-2007, 10:50 AM   #12
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by CaringMom View Post
    I know exactly what you are going through and how you feel. Reading your story, it could be me and my youngest daughter to a "T"!! Right down to the age, weight issues, being anti social, etc. Can't tell you how many times I've broken down this past school year. Through much counseling and meds, currently on cymbalta, seems to be doing better. Unless it's because she's not in school; she was deactivated and had to take 2 summer classes and 2 correspondence classes because she just "could not finish the last 3 weeks of school"!! I'm already getting anxious about school resuming next month. I pray every day she'll make it!
    Hang in there. Things will get better. Meds do take awhile to start working and you'll need to keep an eye out for any changes with her. You're not alone and yes, you're in the right place. Everyone on here is wonderful! Keep us posted on how things are going. Remember, there is someone else out there kinda in your shoes - me! Take care...

    Hmm sounds like me...i was diagnosed with chronic depression in the 10th grade.Ive attempted suicide four times.They have be on prozac. But anyways yeah meds to take a while to start working.it took about a month or 2 for them to start kicking in. I hope things get better for her.Im 18 and im still working on my depression. BTW storm dont blame yourself things happen my mom blamed herself because i was depressed i told her over and over it wasnt but once i explained it to her she didnt feel as bad. Just Pray for her and i hope she gets better as well. Much Love <3 Missy

     
    Old 07-08-2007, 09:08 AM   #13
    stormynite2
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    Re: Parent of a depressed teenage daughter

    Just an update here. I find myself eveyday even on little decisions wondering if it is the right thing to say or do so that I don't add any stress to my daughter. I'm feeling alot of anxiety about this next decision I'm going to tell you about wondering if this is going to make my daughter worse.

    We live in a small town(of 500 people) and live 45 min away from where I work. I spend over $300 a month alone on gas. And the winter times are treteruos!! We live in an apartment now and have found a house in the town where I work at. I'm hoping to move there in August if everything goes well. Not only does my daughter has depression but she has social anxiety. Well, I have pulled strings to not have her go to the bigger school in the new town but to have her go to a school where she will have about the same amount of kids in her grade that she has now. Where we live right now not only is the town really small (which she at first hated when we moved from a new state 4 yrs ago but then liked because she doesn't have to go anywhere) but our apt. is very very tiny and too crowded. Let's just say my puter is on my dining table and we have no room there for family meals.

    I'm hoping in the long run this will help her as she is at the age where she is talking about maybe getting a part time job, we have nothing for her to go where we live at now. No stores, no movie theater, no place to eat, ect.... where the new town has things that she can do and there is even the college for her to start at after she graduates in 3yrs. There is now way that she can do anything here as there is no extra vehicle for her to travel that far to work.

    I know she doesn't want to move, but how far do I let her make the decisions?? I believe this is better all around for all of us, but I also don't want her to go through the anxiety of moving. I seem to question what I say and do now more than I use to now that she has this thyroid problem with depression. Anyone have any reasurring thoughts?? Thank you!

     
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