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parters of & with depression?

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Old 08-19-2007, 01:27 AM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: London, UK.
Posts: 8
macx HB User
parters of & with depression?

Hi Everyone,

Firstly I've been here on and off over the past two years, but things have come to a head now and I could really use some advice from people who are either in the same situation or similar. Sorry if this seems inappropriate to anyone.

I have been married for the last five years, together for more than twelve and I have been dealing with his depression for the last two years. It has affected me, causing depression to a lesser degree. He tried with a counsellor for about eight months and has now quit. I want him to see a psychiartrist as in the UK they can write prescriptions. He makes every excuse under the sun not to go and shows no signs of changing or trying to change all his negative patterns of behaviour.

So this may seem cold, but after two years of trying. It looks like I have a choice to make. Either I accept the changes and stay like this for the rest of my life or I leave him and make a new life. I still love him and thats what keeps me here, he makes my life impossible. How long do I support him?

Thanks for reading, wishing everyone well.

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Old 08-19-2007, 01:57 AM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: great britian
Posts: 15
bethanymay HB User
Re: parters of & with depression?

My heart goes out to you...........I am in the same postion.............My husband has major depression and i have wept and worried over this man and life has been miserable..................He has now decided that he will never get better while living with me and is leaving on 24th aug..............Friday to be exact...Thats the reward i get for being there!!!I still love him even though he has treated me so badly but i will learn not to in time...........Depression makes you selfish,deceitful and insular .............

Good luck with whatever decsion you make,,,,,,,It has been taken out of my hands now so i will have to live with that......Sympaties to you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Old 08-20-2007, 04:25 AM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 3
lilly_84 HB User
Re: parters of & with depression?


I have depression, so I may have an understanding of what he is goin through. AS you know living with and beating it is a lvery long and hard process. At one stage I stopped meds and seeing the psych, i was too afraid to confront my problems so just burried my head in the sand and eventually my partner left. At the time it was really hard but it motivated me to get back into therapy and start my meds again, it made me realise that I really did need help. It has taken a good six months to get me functioning properly and dealing with day to day life but I'm so happy that all of that happened, otherwise I would probably still be really depressed.

Do you know why he stopped therapy?
HAve u explained to him the negative effect this is having on you and your relationship?
If he knew he could lose you/ is hurting you so much maybe that would motivate him to try therapy again.

It sounds a s though you have been a very understanding and supporting partner so I hope he gets help and your relationship gets better.

But if he doesnt you have to think about your happiness and well being. It may sound harsh but if you have communicated to him fully what is happening and he still wont do anything then I understand if you leave.

Hope this helps a bit,

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