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I'm so confused with my life.

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Old 09-18-2008, 11:36 PM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 160
lamal3 HB User
I'm so confused with my life.

My life changed, just about two months ago prior to writing this post. I thought I was in good shape, healthy and athletic. I would work out 5-6 times a week and lived a fairly healthy lifestyle. Then just arriving home one night, I stepped into my house for not even more than 5 minutes I had a crushing sensation in my chest. I didn't know what was going on and I was scared and in pain so I told my parent's to get me to the hospital as fast as they can. I waited in pain in the hospital until one of the night doctors came and helped me. I waited for over 1 hour until I received help. I thought I was dying. By the time I saw the doctor the doctor thought I was hyperventilating and didn't take me serious until my body started shutting down. My legs stopped working and then it slowly progressed it's way up to the head and at that point I passed out. It was already early morning the next day so I slept for like 2 hours and awoke with one of the doctors telling me that they were going to rush me to the operating room. At that point I didn't know what to think. I was about to have open heart surgery at only 27 !. I didn't panic because it was happening so fast. They transferred me from one hospital to the other in 12 minutes and 30 minutes later they started the operation. The whole ordeal lasted 10 hours. That day changed my life forever. You can never take life for granted, you never know what is going to happen the next second, next minute or next hour. It was like someone pulled the switch on me and to this day I still cannot believe that I experienced all this. I was on the verge of dying but somehow a miracle came out. I'm now all depressed and just kind of confused on how I should go on with my life. Any insight into this issue nice !

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Old 09-22-2008, 07:41 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: california
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prtypink80 HB User
Re: I'm so confused with my life.

Hi you are so lucky to be alive. I know that experience was a life change hopefuly for the better. You'll never be the same you will be a new person. I on the other hand lost my husband over 3 months ago and he was 28. He took his own life due to depression over childhood abuse and he hid the depression very well. I now am what people call "suicide survivor" I don't know what to think about that. My life has changed for the worst just imagine I lost my first everything. We had been together for 13 yrs and last month would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. I was left childless. This pain is so unbearable that I don't know what to make of my life I am completly lost. If you survived this great ordeal live your life to the fullest enjoy everyday. I can't because all I can think about is how I found my husband and how I couldn't revive him with cpr. Please take your life enjoy it and be greatful that you made it. ((hugs))

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