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Feeling awful

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Old 09-10-2009, 09:54 PM   #1
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Mark586 HB User
Feeling awful

Well i guess ill give some background detail, im currently 17 years old and im in my junior year of high school, i REALLY dont know where to start so ill just start with things that im feeling, first and the most annoying thing is my sleeping problems, i cannot fall asleep, i toss and turn and end up staying awake for 5+ hours until i fall asleep, my right leg constantly shakes(made a post on RLS forum) and i wake up with an enormous pain in my right leg with nothing to do about it, im also overweight which makes me very insecure about myself, all of this started a year ago when my parents divorced, it wasn't one of those calm divorces and caused a lot of family problems, so now im living with my grand parents and my dads in the army and my mom still lives near me, i have to constantly do things for both my parents , write bills for my dad, send him things he needs and for my mom who also is started to feel depressed with back problems i go over and mow the lawn and pick my sisters up from school who i havent been able to spend any time and im feeling like a horrible horrible person for neglecting them, i want them to have the childhood i never had because my family immigrated to the us when i was 5 or so and we had gone through a lot of problems to get here, i feel like i have no one to talk to at all and no one that understands me, about 3 weeks ago school started and i am just completely bummed out about it way more than most other students would be, i felt like i had just started to somewhat relax during my summer and then school came and on top of my bad sleeping problems i had to wake up at 6:30 and my junior year i have act's and the hardest classes so it's been just hammering me, im always tired and my eating has been bad to, for the past 2 weeks id come home around 3 and sleep til about midnight like i am right now, i failed 3 classes last year when im a used to being an all a student because of being overwhelmed to the point where i ended up being absent from school for about 15 days in 1 semester, i dont think i can put up with this feeling that much longer, i get headaches 2-3 times a week, i was addicted to an online game for about 5 months til i stopped making myself play it, it was nice though because on it i felt like a new person, how sad is that? ive been having this feeling inside of my and its just pain, it doesn't hurt me or anything but its this thing that just makes me feel miserable, i cant pay attention in class or do anything, when i come home from school i just lay around the house, i tried to get some excersize but im the laziest person ever and avoided going to the gym, i dont know if this is appropriate in this forum or not but masturbation hasn't been helping me out at all so that doesn't really provide anything for me, i also have psoriasis which just makes me feel even more insecure about my self, i can't believe 2 years ago i was so involved in life, had good grades and everything seemed so simple and its hard to put up with how im feeling right now, the past year has been awful, really annoys me to whats become of me, i hate waking up knowing this is just going to be another miserable and saddening day, i really didnt know where to start so excuse my kind of ranting i guess, posting this kind of made me feel better almost as if i was talking to someone, thanks for reading, any input would be amazing, god bless.

Last edited by Mark586; 09-10-2009 at 10:02 PM.

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Old 09-11-2009, 04:21 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2009
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Re: Feeling awful

Hi there,
You are doing a lot for your family and the pressure is taking its toll on you. You say you avoid going to the gym but theres so much happening and as you are only 17, gym is probably not the best thing for you anyway! You need to stop taking some of the responsibilities that you are taking. Therefore in my opinion, try to take a break from everything, if possible ask your guardians for some money to take time off everything and go somewhere to relax yourself for a week or something. Good luck

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