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  • Does depression affect reasoning and cause black and white thinking?

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    Old 01-06-2010, 02:37 PM   #1
    kellyb84
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    Does depression affect reasoning and cause black and white thinking?

    I was diagonsed with depression and bipolar II five years ago. I do take medication but for the past few months I have been getting depressed and upset over little things. In November my brother and his fiancee started planning their wedding and didn't include me in the wedding party. I'm still hurt by that. I have never been asked to be in a wedding and I don't think I will ever get asked to be in one. I haven't talked to my brother since Thanksgiving. I get irritated just thinking about him and his fiancee. On New Year's Eve a few of my cousins went out together and didn't invite me. I'm very irritated with them. I feel that I'm not good enough to be included or invited in anything. My feelings on my brother's wedding is that I should be included because I'm his only sibling and the bride's sister and brother will be in the wedding party.

    Has anyone ever had any experiences in which depression effects their reasoning?

     
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    Old 01-06-2010, 02:49 PM   #2
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    Re: Does depression effect reasoning and cause black and white thinking?

    I have suffered from depression for years and yes, it affects most everything in your life! Find other people to be around. My family is much like you describe--I try not to think about them because it gets me upset.
    Learning to accept changes and others for who they are is very difficult.

     
    Old 01-06-2010, 08:44 PM   #3
    Pegala
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    Re: Does depression effect reasoning and cause black and white thinking?

    Dear Kelly,
    I agree with sickofpain, that yes, depression can effect your reasoning. It really did a number on me for many years. I used to cry over things that really didn't matter.
    In your defense, I would be hurt if I wasn't asked to be in my siblings wedding. I wish I could help. I know how hurtful people can be. I'd also feel left out and hurt over the new years incident.
    One of things I found with the depression is that you get a double edge sword. The depression caused me to need other people more, but I was more withdrawn and it wasn't obvious that I needed people. The more I was left out of things the worse the depression got and the less people included me. It's a very difficult spiral, but life gets better.
    I've found that with the proper medical treatment, with a team of specialists working with you, the depression can be managed, and I can lead a good life.
    Peggy

     
    Old 01-08-2010, 11:21 AM   #4
    kellyb84
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    Re: Does depression effect reasoning and cause black and white thinking?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Pegala View Post
    Dear Kelly,
    I agree with sickofpain, that yes, depression can effect your reasoning. It really did a number on me for many years. I used to cry over things that really didn't matter.
    In your defense, I would be hurt if I wasn't asked to be in my siblings wedding. I wish I could help. I know how hurtful people can be. I'd also feel left out and hurt over the new years incident.
    One of things I found with the depression is that you get a double edge sword. The depression caused me to need other people more, but I was more withdrawn and it wasn't obvious that I needed people. The more I was left out of things the worse the depression got and the less people included me. It's a very difficult spiral, but life gets better.
    I've found that with the proper medical treatment, with a team of specialists working with you, the depression can be managed, and I can lead a good life.
    Peggy
    I think it will be awhile before I'm over being left out in my brother's wedding. I agree with you depression is a double edge sword. My medication does help me a lot but for the past few months I find myself getting upset over little things.

     
    Old 01-31-2010, 01:39 PM   #5
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    Re: Does depression effect reasoning and cause black and white thinking?

    Hi Kelly. I know exactly how you feel. My son announced that he was getting married, and I thought that I would be asked to be the best man. I was hurt when it never happened. I told him later how I felt. The wedding had actually been postponed and when they did get married I was the best man. As far as the family thing. My family and I have been at odds since I came out. I was so happy when I excepted who I was to myself that it didn't matter how they felt. My partner and I have been together for 12 years now and we spend all holidays together. My two kids have excepted this and it was just a matter of telling them at the right time. I now have a granddaughter and get to spend all of the time in the world with her. I think about mu brothers and my sister every now and then, but I look at there lives and know that I am happier than they are. I know you poosted this a month ago but I am glad that I am not the only one out there with these issues.

     
    Old 09-14-2010, 07:09 AM   #6
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    Re: Does depression effect reasoning and cause black and white thinking?

    Depression impacts reasoning - and faulty reasoning contributes to depression, in my opinion. That being said - we don't treat each other so well as human beings sometimes and it hurts especially when I/you perhaps, feel slighted by family. Nevertheless, resentment will eat a person up faster than having your heart broken. "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Marcus Aurelilus

     
    Old 09-14-2010, 09:59 PM   #7
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    Re: Does depression effect reasoning and cause black and white thinking?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kellyb84 View Post
    I was diagonsed with depression and bipolar II five years ago. I do take medication but for the past few months I have been getting depressed and upset over little things. In November my brother and his fiancee started planning their wedding and didn't include me in the wedding party. I'm still hurt by that. I have never been asked to be in a wedding and I don't think I will ever get asked to be in one. I haven't talked to my brother since Thanksgiving. I get irritated just thinking about him and his fiancee. On New Year's Eve a few of my cousins went out together and didn't invite me. I'm very irritated with them. I feel that I'm not good enough to be included or invited in anything. My feelings on my brother's wedding is that I should be included because I'm his only sibling and the bride's sister and brother will be in the wedding party.

    Has anyone ever had any experiences in which depression effects their reasoning?
    Hi Kelly,

    The main thing depression affects is out thinking. It causes us to assume the negative position on everything so it cetainly causes one to see things as black or white. See how definite I was about that? That's me being black and white as I know your thoughts are negative, always.

    We are easily offended and assume people don't want us around. By the way I have depression and bp2 as well so we are alike in that way.

    One aspect you are probably not considering is that, after 5 years of your illness, you have probably led everyone you know to think you want to be alone, that you won't go out with them as we isolate and the best way to do that is refuse invitations.

    After a time they stop asking, thinking they are doing the right thing. They also have the problem of ignorance in that they have no clue how you feel, hell you don't most of the time, right? So rather than risk upsetting you and themselves they leave you out.

    Have there been times when you went out with them and turned the outing into a nightmare for all of you? Likely and that would also result in them not asking you to go out. Would you ask someone out if they got so upset the outing was a horror show for all? I wouldn't.

    I choose not to go out on most routine things as I know I'll get irritated and likely angry at someone. Or worse.

    The only way to deal with this is to ask the person you think is excluding you if that's the case. If it is be prepared for the truth as they may say yes, it is the reason.

    And also remember, as a male, he probably had no choice about who to invite. It may have been his wife to be who said no or is too scared to ask you in case you have a bad day and upset their wedding.

    See where I'm going with this? It's not you, Kelly, that is the problem. It's the illness. There's nothing else it could be. Time for a heart to heart with brother but do have a referee with you and be patient. Maybe write down what you want to ask so you don't let emotion run away on the day.

    I have actually excluded all my birth family and my son from my life as they all make me angry and will not accept I have depression. Only for 50 years, on and off. And they still deny it. Scream!!!!!!!!!!!

     
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