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  • I Can't handle this anymore!

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    Old 02-05-2001, 02:42 PM   #1
    This is Jen
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    I Can't handle this anymore!

    I can't handle life anymore! I'm so miserable and waking up every morning just makes it worse. People say that life is a gift. But nobody always gets a gift that they want every time, right? So, who says I should enjoy this gift, [life]. I'm always yelling at everyone and I don't know who I am and on top of that I am so far dissociated that I can't get back into reality or feel my finger tips on the computer keys. Why won't this stop?!
    -Jen

     
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    Old 02-05-2001, 03:29 PM   #2
    sferg
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    Re: I Can't handle this anymore!

    Jen:
    I really don't know what to say except I understand and I've been there. There are a whole line of well worn out cliches to say but when you are feeling this way they don't help. I find listening to music sometimes helps, fun music like Cindy Laupper, Barenaked Ladies. Nothing that is depressing. Watch your fav sitcoms or funny movie, Austin Powers usually does it for me.
    sferg

     
    Old 02-05-2001, 05:20 PM   #3
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    Re: I Can't handle this anymore!

    I know the feeling, Jen! We definately don't always get the gift we asked for and in life there are no exchanges. I guess we just have to make the best of it and be thankful for what we have. I know that's hard cause I struggle every day. I wish I had a different life but I'm stuck with the one I have just like with those ugly sweaters my Memere used to give me... ;0)

     
    Old 02-05-2001, 08:20 PM   #4
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    Re: I Can't handle this anymore!

    Hey Jen,
    Life isn't so bad. I've been there, done that...the feeling sorry for myself thing. Hated life. Hated getting out of bed in the morning. Never saw a point to it. But guess what--it got so old after awhile that I finally got off my butt, saw a doctor and got myself on some meds. I'm a whole new person, and I hate that miserable person I used to be. Life IS a gift. You just don't see it now because you can't change the way you're thinking. There is help out there. Help that will change the way you currently think. Believe me.

     
    Old 02-05-2001, 10:43 PM   #5
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    Re: I Can't handle this anymore!

    i guess ive felt like that too

     
    Old 02-05-2001, 11:11 PM   #6
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    Re: I Can't handle this anymore!

    Jen,
    I know how you feel when you say you're disassociated... I work at a lame job, and I'm really replacable, and I'm a newbie in school, and I have one friend in the entire world (besides Jesus), and if I quit or drop out or even die, who'd care? I'm at that point right now where I want to just end it, but I start counseling on Friday... and that's my last resort <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif"> Have you considered counseling? My dr, my pastor at church, and the people handling my case right now (I'm ex-military) all tell me that I need to go through counseling, and I'm even getting medical leave pay to get better. The reason that I'm not too depressed when I say it's my last resort is that I have a lot of faith that it can make me better. Have you considered it? (I was also wondering if this was Jen from the old board who told me a horror story about counseling.) I wish that I could give you some advice, but I was always too shy as a teen to tell my friends or people at my school what was going on... but that would be my advice. I decided to wait until I had a nervous breakdown to do something about it (actually, I was forced to) Are you on any medication? the right medication? You should talk to your doctor. I was helping a girl at my church and I told her that if she didn't want to go to her parents and tell them that she was depressed, to go to them and tell them that she gets headaches, then when she got to talk to the dr. privately to go ahead and tell him what was going on. I told her this yesterday so I don't know how she's doing yet. But you should try to get the help you need. I sometimes agree that life's not a gift, but trust Jesus. He'll give you the rest you need (and the rest you need from reading this long letter. sorry about that. I just like to talk, and talk...)
    Helene

     
    Old 02-06-2001, 03:36 PM   #7
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    Re: I Can't handle this anymore!

    Jen,

    I think almost everyone at one point in there in their lives feels the way you do. I know I have and many times still wake up with hating the "world" and hating myself.

    Life is a journey, and believe me through out that journey your not always going to find sunny days. I know its hard, especially when you don't know even know where your life is heading or even if life would get any better. But remember that moment won't last forever. Your bound to experience some sunny days. Oh buts it tough, its really tough. Life is tricky very tricky. Just hang in there Jen, don't give up, even though you feel like there's nothing to live for, live for the fact that the sun will rise the next morning.

    Good Louck to yah Jen.


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    *~ Its your world, You can Change it!! ~*

     
    Old 02-07-2001, 11:09 AM   #8
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    Re: I Can't handle this anymore!

    Hey Jen,
    Life has it share of ups and downs but you will get through them. There are a lot of people who have felt like you do right now. Look at me for example, I was really down and out because I had just graduated from High School and I didn't know what direction to go in because I wasn't to big on school. I was so disgusted because my parents were taking all this credit for their daughter graduating and neither one of them really had anything to do with me since I was 2 years old. I had also just found out that my birth mother had accepted $2,000.00 and a washer and dryer to stay away from me my whole life and my grandparents who raised me, wanted me to move out with my Dad (whom I didn't even really know). This was a lot for me to handle. Including that my mothers husband had tried to sleep with me and she blamed it on me and my cousins husband had tried to sleep with me and she was angry at me. But now I am so much better. I had a breakdown and got very suicidal. I ended up having to stay in a mental hospital over night. It was the hardest night of my life. But now all is well I got to meet a wonderful Psycologist who helped me deal with my anxiety and depression and I am now taking medication to help my depression. I really just pulled away from the things that were meaking me depressed. I no longer live with any of my family I live on my own and I have my job and a wonderful husband to keep me busy. I hope that everything turns out well for you and I think that you should seek help for yourself. I remember when I used to hate waking up because it was so hard for me to make it through the day without wanting to end everything but I am super glad I didn't because I have learned to appreciate so many things now. I love going to the beach and sticking my feet in the sand and walking barefoot thorough grass or just enkjoy the beautiful sky and be thankful that I was put on this earth to be able to enjoy the wonderful things that are free in life.

     
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