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"it's all about attitude" or "think positive" or "no don't be negative"

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Old 11-15-2010, 02:14 PM   #1
ebrena's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Victoria BC Canada
Posts: 418
ebrena HB Userebrena HB User
"it's all about attitude" or "think positive" or "no don't be negative"

Has any on one this board ever heard these bright ideas that are suppose to cure your depression? I hear it all the time & thought I would share and see if you believe these to be true. I am coming so close to freaking out on the next idiot that says these to me.

There is such a wide gap between "real" "physical & chemical depression" and sad because you broke your finger nail. There are these perfect people who live in a perfect world who think they have all the answer's. These perfect people actually believe all we have to do is to "be happy" & "think happy thought's"! "think positive"! You need to get out and get a life?" Huh?-right now I don't even want to get dressed but if I think positive & I get out my depression will go away and I won't need to take antidpressant's?

Are these people for real? Is there any truth to what these overly optimistic corny people are saying? Are we suffering with depression because of our attitudes? Do I feel like hiding in my room and sleeping until noon and avoiding people at all costs because I need to "have a positive/happy attitude"? It's not because I sit under a dark cloud of unreleting depression? I have been taking antidepressants for 30 years and all I really needed was to "think happy thought's"??

The problem with these people is they are the ones who don't face the problems most people do in life. These phoney people do not face reality at any cost because they can't. I have a sister who walked away from her dying mother so it didn't ruin her day. She won't lend an ear because she doesn't want you to ruin her good mood and have you bring her "down". She is a happy little alcholic who still thinks she's 25 when the music is turned up and her glass in half full & not half empty.

They avoid the hard-rough & tough reality's in day to day life and just walk away from problems so they stay happy. However they are the first ones to get on the phone and dump on you when something tough does ruin their day-they expect you to cheer them up so they don't have to face a tough reality. Meanwhile you are already in the middle of an out of control depression and cloud of darkness and haven't smiled in years-now they want to add there minor harsh realities on you on top of what we are already dealing with. Besides their issue is usually so irrelevant who cares??? My sister is jealous because her X-husband has finally found a new woman-he got over her too fast!! He never fought for her when she left him to live with his best friend! Oh my!!! Do we never get a break?

In my world I have had days of sunshine & lollypops and then someone will come and take my sunshine away & it's a little more difficult for me to deal with than to think happy thoughts. I can't just roll out of it like that. I need to begin a treatment of antideppresants and it could take up to 2 months for me to even open the door and see a glimmer of sunshine out there. But these lucky perky sunny people don't want to hear about that. They don't want to watch you slowly get on your feet while your meds are kicking in-do they?? Because I don't know what brings on my depression it just happens and it stays and I can't just think "happy thoughts & poofy it's all better.

I have gone through 3 bad marriages; I was a single parent & raised a son who was a good sweet child & at 14 he turned into Dameon & was always in trouble & I pulled him in and stood by him until we got through it; over half of the friends I had died before we were even 40 very sad-left huge gaps; I cared for my dying mother for my brother's & sister's because they couldn't deal with it and when the effect of her death was upon me I had no one to talk to who would listen and help me deal with my pain- instead they avoided me; some even got angry & told me to get over it; the son I stood by on my own never calls me or visits and he lives 10 minutes away-he has two adorable kids (my grand kids) I never get to see; I have dealt with health issues such as hashimoto's thyroid; type 2 diabetes; fibro and chronic fatigue; nerve damage from a bad fall; a dislocated shoulder that cannot be operated on & people are sick of hearing about. They ask how I am doing & if I dare mention I had to go back to the Er for the 7th time in 6 weeks to have it reset; I don't say it for sympathy I say it like "I can't believe I had to go back to the Er for the 7th time in 6 weeks'! (a statement) I have never ask any of them to take me in to the er I called an ambulance, I don't want to burden anyone.

I don't feel to many "happy's" when I go through things like this. Am I wierd? Am I sad because I am a pessimist or am I depressed because I have a chemical imbalance which only makes all these issue that more difficult?

This is what I am up against right now- I stopped taking my prozac 6 months ago and I can really feel things I am really (sad?) (pessimistic?) or might I be (depressed)? I am shutting myself away further & further into my bedroom; I don't answer my telephone; I pretend I am not home if someone comes to my door; I don't leave the house unless I absolutely have to & when I do I hope I don't run into anyone I know.

I am so angry at these happy people I feel like telling them all where to go & why!! A huge reason I am angry is because I am so aware that my family does not want to hear my woes I don't feel I have anywhere to reach out. This is what lonely feels like. If I told them how I feel they wouldn't get it-they would think I was a a boring pessimist and avoid me more so.

I am not sure but sadly I feel I need to get back on my Prozac & I hate doing that because I feel weird & they make me tired. My Dr is not not aware I stopped taking the Prozac, I still take Wellbutrin. To live amongst the happy humans this is what I must do again? I don't feel "happy" when I go back on my drugs I feel kind of numb and I guess this is what helps to get me though it. I still don't like these optimistic people-I think they need a "reality" pill.

Sorry if you are reading this and think I have spun out of control-I really haven't but I am realistic when it comes to some of the contributors of my depression and this too makes me sad-not happy. Also sorry for the long winded post, but thanks for hearing me out.

The more I here this

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GeckoGirl (11-21-2010)
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Old 11-21-2010, 10:32 AM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Rolla, MO, USA
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GeckoGirl HB User
Re: "it's all about attitude" or "think positive" or "no don't be negative"

I get what you are saying. I've tried to stay in a relatively good mood most of my life, through childhood abuse, a disappearing husband, single parenthood, no child support, eye surgeries, migraines, a few accidents, and some other downers in life. The last bout of fun took me to a darker place with my vision and my moods that I couldn't just snap out of, nor see the positive side of quite so easily. I couldn't work anymore and my health insurance wouldn't cover all the pre-existing conditions with my eyes, so a friend booted me out of bed and led me down the Medicaid road to help me get disability. I'm not quite there yet, but it's been entertaining.

The first doctor I visit tells me that my headaches, my vision, and my request for a referral to a mental health professional are all attributed to a condition caused by menopause. That's after a two minute discussion after his nurse had taken a history that didn't even touch on my gynecological history in any fashion. The poor old fellow manfully rooted through the records looking for the magical date of the commencement of menopause after I asked him to relate that date to onset of migraines at the age of three, and to the onset of vision loss at the age of 28 when I had retinal detachments, and how that explained ophthalmic migraines, which by the way I was having one now. He turned off the light and looked in my eyes and in frustration exclaimed that he couldn't see my retina due to the advance stage of my cataracts. I hope he learned not to claim that menopause was the instigator of all the ills suffered by womankind in the future, the dirty bird!

Finally, after several frustrating months of blood tests and runarounds I forced him to give me a referral to a neurologist for my migraines and an ophthalmologist for my eyes, and got my own appointment for intake with a mental health agency in my area. Oh, I had to arm wrestle him to get seen at a podiatrist where I was diagnosed, treated, and finally "cured" of degenerative arthritis in my ankles--with lots of injections. You could see the swelling knobs shrinking after each treatment.

At the mental health intake I was granted an appointment with a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with PTSD, Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Major Depression. I was given Celexa 20 mg, was on it for 3 weeks but was still crying constantly and very depressed. I was actually more suicidal during those first three weeks. She increased it to 40 mg, but I still feel depressed, exhausted, non-caring, and the only thing that has changed is that I'm not disposing of my belonging as quickly as I was able to do before. I'm not receiving any therapy. I'm also on Topamax for migraine, and Trazadone for the flashbacks and to help me sleep. The Topamax is causing anorexia and depression, and seems to cause rumination so instead of getting flashbacks that prevent sleep I ruminate over them all day long. The little bit of interaction I've had from potential therapists and the psychiatrist and my caseworker seems to focus on what they call "negative thinking". I don't even know what they are talking about because we don't talk about anything. They don't know what I'm thinking. They want me to go to group therapy and I had a panic attack in front of the psychiatrist, the therapist, and my caseworker. I don't have control of panic attacks. They are related to my vision loss, which is related to child hood abuse, and to fear for my security. Any thought of doing any thing where vision is an issue bring about a panic attack. I didn't say I wouldn't go to group therapy. I've done everything they've asked me to do. I've bared my soul, my home, and my life asking for help. They're allusions to negative thinking really hurt my feelings. It makes me want to stop with all this useless opening up. The drugs aren't helping anyway. I don't know how to talk to the psychiatrist. Apparently, I am only to see her for ten minutes every two months now, with my caseworker, to review meds. I'm supposed to tell her how great I'm doing and tell her what I want to do with my meds. I don't understand this at all. Being depressed is negative. If I could be positive I wouldn't need a psychiatrist. LOL

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