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tyler1234 04-28-2012 04:52 PM

my depression
i can't afford counseling so am joining hoping to share stories and find others to gain knowledge, power and support from/to; reasons for my depression: my mom died when i was six; i was abused by my bro and stepmom; i am a single mom 14 yrs. to the light of my life, my son, but his deadbeat took off and has done everything in his power to not pay his support and not be involved and how can get away without paying?; because there is no enforcement in this country nor is there one law that would protect my son's rights as a minor child; i have 5 back herniations, bum ankle, Reiter's Syndrome, thyroid disease, had tons of root canals and extractions and in march 2011 my gi nightmare began and i still can't wake up; 5-10 yrs. ago i began reflux successfully managed by Protonix until last year when I got a hiatal hernia with world's worst heartburn, some nausea, chestpain and stomach pain; i met the wrong surgeon who said We have a surgery for that; i asked him to please just fix my hernia and he said i must choose a wrap for relief so i chose the troupet partial wrap, what i thought would be the lesser of 2 evils and boy was i wrong on my counts; my complications started at 3 mo. with some nausea and pain and fullness; then in jan. i ate fastfood and came down with 2 mo. of acute colitis with rectal bleeding, nausea, diarrhea; then came the world's worst nausea i've ever had in my life and it won't stop; it is daily, debilitating, extreme, intolerable with intense stomach pains where wrap is, can't eat/drink, trouble swallowing; i am off to cleveland clinic for more horrific tests and surgeries; i am a single mom, disabled, bankrupt and we r losing my car/house and will have to go to shelter; I have NO quality of life anymore and we have NO family life; i can't afford to travel but i am slowing dying of digestive diseases and my son is watching me; am i despressed?; absolutely; do i have a right?; definitely. oh yeah. on day one my ex surgeon said he would undo wrap if it came to this; now he won't return my calls so hopefully cleveland will either do undo/redo and give me my life back.

keenobserver 04-29-2012 10:01 AM

Re: my depression
There are a lot of issues you are dealing with and it will affect the way you live your life drastically. Also your unfortunate trauma as a youngster is unlikely to ever go away.

Remember though before you can take care of your son you need to look after yourself and if you feel that you are capable of looking after your son then feel as though you can do it, otherwise you will have to ensure that your son gets the best family environment possible. Sorry to sound harsh but you need to think what you think is best for you before your symptoms get the better of you.

Wish you all the best in the way you go forward. Thanks

tyler1234 04-29-2012 01:45 PM

Re: my depression
Thank u for your reply and u r not harsh and I understand your point but my son and I r a package deal. I would never adandon him like his deadbeat so freely did and there is no one who could take him anyway and i think kids even when mom or dad r struggling and kids c this I still think it is so important to keep the family unit together and I know kids can b strong and resilient and can b tough in crisis. But with that said I still get my **** together so to speak and find a way to deal with my medical crises and still b the parent. This is a very trying time.

coffeemom30 04-29-2012 02:55 PM

Re: my depression
Bless your heart. I wonder if there is a hotline you can call to find out if you can get some sort of government help? Maybe a counselor at a shelter you can ask?

tyler1234 04-29-2012 03:02 PM

Re: my depression
Thanks for the blessing and same to u. I've called every place in my city and gotten nowhere. Boy how things have changed since I was a kid. These it's every man woman and child for themselves with not much help out there. I will keep trying but unfortunately the people that need services sometimes do fall thru the cracks. When we end up in shelter then maybe someone will help.

keenobserver 04-30-2012 08:53 AM

Re: my depression
well at least one good thing there which is that you really want a close unit for your son, shows that you see a positive way forward and that you are willing to do a whole lot for him. Remember though that you want to achieve everything you can for him, take time for yourself, see something that helps you relax from time to time. It could be the simplest thing like a book or TV, something to help you enjoy your free time. It could also be something to vent your anger. All for your benefit.
Let me know what you think. Thanks

tyler1234 04-30-2012 09:06 AM

Re: my depression
I AGREE 1000%; we r off to cleveland, oh today to begin the process of getting my stomach back to its rightful stop no thx to the wrong surgeon; although i am going thru HELL, i will remember your words and find time to heal and take for myself although with my stubborn nature, my son usually comes first but i will work on it; we really r each other's rock and i couldn't get thru my botched tummy surgery or anything without him really; have a good day and thx. for taking the time to chat.

texastoast 04-30-2012 02:52 PM

Re: my depression
Tyler, I just also wanted to add that I myself have been having a real rough time of it, but I don't have the physical problem that you have. I also am not a single mom so I can't know what you're going through. However in your posts I can tell how much you love your son, how you would give the world for him, how you want to get strong for him, and I also agree that these days it seems that no one "cares" unless someone ends up in a crisis like a shelter! I totally get it. But there are hotlines -- google anything until you find a website even remotely like depression help for someone like you. Different states and counties all have different kinds of help. Maybe even someone to vent to on the phone is good if nothing else exists.

Good luck to you and your son!

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