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Would you take this job?


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Old 05-02-2012, 08:54 AM   #1
edeneden
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Would you take this job?

I've had depression for a few years but only asked for help 6 months ago. Currently on medication and 12 weeks into counselling, still struggling. I live alone with a small mortgage.

I've been unemployed for 3-4 months after freelancing for 2 years and have been offered a full time job in a big corporate company. When I went for the interview 5 weeks ago, and again today for another meeting, it was like my blood turned to ice and I just felt so stressed at the thought of going back into an office environment - all I could think was 'I can't do this type of office based environment again'. They offered me the job which is quite a responsible one. I am due to start and in despair because nothing in me wants to do this, I have been trying so hard for years to try and find a less stressful different avenue of work but had no success - but also I have no funds to support myself anymore. I am having sleepless nights and anxiety at the thought of it.

A very small part of me thinks just maybe it will do me good to be employed again and it wont be that bad - the other much larger part of me wants to pack and run for the hills. I just want to be left alone from any demands on me to try and work through my mental problems. The only way to cope financially would be to sell my house and live on the equity for a while. I don't have any family to support me.

What would you do??????

 
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:46 AM   #2
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Re: Would you take this job?

The first thing that struck me was that, in spite of being in the grip of depression, you actually went through with the application and interview. Since you didn't bail from either of these, it seems that the strength is in you. Sometimes stepping out of our comfort zone and facing fear brings growth, simply due to the challenge to succeed. If it were me ( which was your question) , I would definitely give it a go; take it one day at a time, and know I can always leave if I cannot cope at all.
Look at it this way - being unemployed and idle has not really helped you, maybe this will. Engaging in work or other interests is good for depression.
Hang in there, Sera

 
Old 05-02-2012, 12:34 PM   #3
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Re: Would you take this job?

Hello edeneden.

I'm in agreement with Seraph about taking this job. I find being productive whether it's through work or other areas to be helpful with coping with depression. Not only does working act as a distraction, I notice I also feel better when I'm accomplishing things. I enjoy feeling like I can make a difference as oppose to feeling hopeless and helpless when I'm depressed. I also think a change in environment may be beneficial for you as well as not having to worry about selling your house to stay financially secure.

 
Old 05-02-2012, 02:45 PM   #4
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Re: Would you take this job?

Hi Edeneden-I worked in an office within a cubicle for almost 30 years & quit in 2005. The job really took a tole on my brain function. I felt they had sucked any brain matter out of my head. After I left I was having dreams that I had to go back and it was creepy. I know for myself I could never ever go back to work in an office or for that matter work for anyone. For a while before I made the huge decision to just leave I was calling in sick-because I was allowing it to make me feel sick. That place still make me hurl when I think about it

I am wanting to learn some web design; desktop publishing etc and work for myself from home. I am not out to make big bucks and would really like to do this. My problem is I can't concentrate to learn these online courses, I have awful brain fog as well I am so lethargic-this is more than likely part of my depression.

Like Seraph said you can always give it a try and if it does you in you can just say it's not for you & run for the hills.
. Did you not like freelancing? Were you freelancing from home? Maybe you can do that again. It cost's an irrational amount of money to live during these times most people are struggling to keep up and that in itself adds to your depression. Maybe make a list of pro's and con's about the job you applied for and your other job experiences and on a scale of 1-10 how you feel you would cope with any of the jobs.

Good luck to you edeneden.

 
Old 05-02-2012, 03:35 PM   #5
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Re: Would you take this job?

Thanks for replies.
Freelancing suits me down to the ground as I can pace myself but I have struggled to find enough work recently.

I've spent years in the past working in diff corporate environments in a stressful job, I walked away from a similar job 2 years ago because of it and I think I have burn-out from it all. I feel like I am going back to the things that make me ill.

I have always lived by my 'head' and done the sensible thing even when my 'gut' was against. I swore I wouldn't do that anymore but again my head tells me this is a sensible thing to - my gut is screaming NOOOO.

 
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Old 05-02-2012, 04:07 PM   #6
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Re: Would you take this job?

Maybe refresh the freelance work you do or add something different to it to incorporate diversity and interest.

I personally am speaking from my gut and I know for a fact if I had to go back to office work - my sleep would be ruined; my stomach would be screaming and it would only add to my present depression. I couldn't do it, I hated it that bad. So I know what it's like to really hate a job as well all the office politics. Yuk

Last edited by ebrena; 05-02-2012 at 04:08 PM.

 
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