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I see no light at end of my tunnel

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Old 08-27-2012, 02:50 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: california
Posts: 1
rcandle08 HB User
I see no light at end of my tunnel

I have always been an energetic and hard working person my whole life. I worked 40 plus hours a week since I was 18 and paid my way through college receiving my BA and MA. I had to take loans out as well through the years to help with the education expenses. I am now 40 and the last 11 years has been the most depressing for me and I feel I have no hope! 3 years ago I lost my house, car and credit. When the economy crashed all employment doors were closed! I kept hearing overqualified, or you need 5 plus years in that particular field to even be considered. Seriously, I worked 40 plus hours a week and went to college at the same time, and not online btw it was actually in the classroom, and they think I can not learn that position? I have no family so when losing all this I had to live in a motel. Then, I met a women that seemed nice and she took me into her house. She told me she was 8 years younger than me and she had no kids either like me. I thought things might actually change. We lost our first child from miscarriage last year and have kept trying and trying. Now I have lost my house, car, credit, first child, and now to top it off she has gotten very obese and have found out that she is actually 10 years older than me and she cannot have kids! I do not know what to do anymore. I feel held hostage now in this relationship cause she has the money. My friends that have not even worked half as hard as me or go to college, have families, house and seem to live a happy life. Now I have had a eye infection and below my eyes are swollen now for 8 months and after saving 8 months of odd jobs to get money i saw a optomotrist and he doesn't know what is wrong. I went from being handsome, great job good credit and a home to losing everything and now my health. I still see no employment opputunities and have no money to even train to even get one that I like! I love life and do not want to die, however I feel hopeless and I can not stand this pain anymore!!

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Old 08-28-2012, 09:31 AM   #2
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
Posts: 361
renko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB User
Re: I see no light at end of my tunnel

I'm so sorry you are going through all these trials. I lost my home due to my husband's disability and failure to keep up payments. It is tough in the world and you should be so proud of all the accomplishments you have made. I know it is tough for so many people but please don't lose hope. Do you have any church or support group you can go to and get some positive feedback and encouragement. You have choices to make and I hope you can find a good friend to move in with and get back on your feet. I know my faith helps me so much and reaching out to others who have no one in nursing homes. Do you enjoy any activities that can help you get outside yourself and find others less fortunate than yourself. I wish you the best. Life is good and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I know because I was desperate but now things are much better. Don't give up.

Old 08-28-2012, 09:20 PM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 86
crookedhearts HB Usercrookedhearts HB Usercrookedhearts HB User
Re: I see no light at end of my tunnel

Im sorry that sucks, but why were you trying to have kids? Don't you see how that might've been a bad idea? Life is crap sometimes, but it's also what we make of it, and you were about to make it even worse for yourself and worse, you were selfishly going to bring some kid into it...

So let's try to look at this more positively: you dodged a bullet. You almost sentenced yourself and an unborn child to a wretched life of poverty with some obese woman who is 10 yrs your senior. You would've ended up working at some crap job for barely anything just to feed the both of them, and you would've been miserable--maybe even left the kid behind with her (and how would THAT make you feel?) but now you know better. If you're so unhappy with her, this is your chance to make a clean getaway. You don't need her money, just like you didn't need it back when you were in college. Just suck it up dude, get a crap job and get yourself on your feet.

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