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So sad

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Old 01-15-2013, 07:00 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ontario Durham
Posts: 1
Rizabella HB User
Unhappy So sad

So, I'm a 20yr old female whose dealt with social anxiety all her life. Due to having anxiety I developed depression. The only people I were ever close to in my life became destructive and abusive towards me. I was bullied and called names a lot. Right now, I have no job and am dirt poor, plus living in a small town and struggling with depressive thoughts doesn't make it any better. I live with my parents which aren't the greatest support. My mom suffers from schizophrenia and is having a relapse at the moment. My father isn't the most supportive man and has been verbally abusive to her all my life. I tried my best to finish university in hopes to get a better job and bring my mother and I out of the hard times we had but unfortunately I'm now struggling with my own mental health situation. I'm constantly alone and the relationship between my mother and I have vanished. She's on a lot of medication and barely holds a meaningful conversation anymore. It breaks my heart everyday to not have anyone to turn to or talk to in these dark times. I've decided to join a support group for my own sanity. Some days I just break down crying, I don't think I ever felt so alone and estranged from society.

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Old 01-20-2013, 06:51 AM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Posts: 21
stangbov HB User
Re: So sad

Hi there! I'm so sorry things are so rough. I think the hardest part is not having a friend to confide in that won't judge you. The first thing you need is a friend to talk to. I'm going to friend request you and if you want you can accept.

Old 01-20-2013, 07:23 AM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4
jomartin HB User
Re: So sad

I am so sorry you are having these tough times. I grew up with a sister with schizophrenia and a bi-polar brother. There were days when I really didn't know where to turn, and I also had lots of financial difficulties. You are not alone. One thing that helped me overcome my issues was getting and keeping a part time job. In the beginning a full time job was much too stressful, but since I was so lonely a part time job gave me social interaction, more money and built up my self esteem. Eventually I was able to hold a full time job, and once I was able to support myself I had greatly improved self esteem. Remember that no job is a bad job, as long as you get a paycheck. It will also help create a schedule and routine which is important.

Remember to create a healthy routine for yourself. Take a shower every day, eat regularly (I know this one is hard if you have no funds), and take a short walk every day. A public library is a great place to get away from your house for free. You can read novels to relax your mind and get away from things for awhile.

It has been 30 years since I was in your shoes, and I have built a solid life (great job and income, married, two children). The best feeling I ever had in my life though was when I had my own small apartment, all to myself, with no relatives who could create havoc or stress. It is heaven. Please let us know how you are doing and wish you well on your journey.

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