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    Old 02-21-2013, 08:04 AM   #1
    JustAmy2013
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    Unhappy ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Hi...
    I am new here and I am about to lose my mind right now! My doctor/therapist and I have been in the last month talking about this new onset of OCD.
    I've had major depression and anxiety since 11 and I need to know if ANYONE out there has developed ANY kind of OCD with their depression???? I have posted on the OCD Board. I thought, having depression too that maybe someone can help here.

    My doctor is right now moving his practice and I won't be seeing him for awhile. He's going to take care of my meds by calling them, but I need some advice, suggestions or even causes for this...
    I've always been a perfectionist in general, especially with myself, but really in the lowest form. For the past month and 1/2 or so I've started becoming OBSESSED with perfectionism when it comes to EVERYTHING else! My apartment especially. I just moved in a couple months ago so I started to want to make sure I kept everything nice and neat. Which I guess is normal when anyone has something new. However, EVERYTHING has to be put in it's exact place, facing the right way, leaning the right way, folded the right way and CLEAN! If there's a SPECK on the floor...I will make sure it's up or it will drive me crazy! It takes me FOREVER just to leave the apartment because I cannot get myself out the door until EVERYTHING is PERFECT! It has been getting worse and it's to the point where it is very stressful, annoying and terribly EXHAUSTING! My anxiety is obviously kicking up by this.

    My Wellbutrin was recently increased because I was having too many depressive episodes that were about to put me in the hospital. Could it be the Wellbutrin?? Or something else?? Is there ANYONE out there that can help me?? Thank you for listening.
    Amy

    Last edited by Administrator; 02-26-2013 at 10:19 AM.

     
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    Old 02-21-2013, 05:32 PM   #2
    Buck8466
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    I'm sorry for your suffering, but I don't have any input on the OCD specifically. I've been on 300mg wellbutrin since the fall. It worked alright for me early on, but not so much in recent weeks. The depression has pretty much creeped back. I feel lethargic, lonely at times even with people around, and kinda trapped in a down mindstate.
    During a recent check-up, my testosterone was found to be severely low. I had more tests done and have yet to be treated, but one of the symptoms of low t is depression. I am by no means even close to a medical professional, but may I suggest going to a primary care doctor and have your hormone levels checked.
    Hang in there, things will get better.
    BO

     
    Old 02-21-2013, 07:46 PM   #3
    JustAmy2013
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Hi Buck...
    I just want first say "thank you" for responding to me even if you don't have the answer. It just means a lot that someone cared enough to say something. Thank you.
    And I relate to everything you're going through (except the testosterone thing of course!) I just came out of a LOT of depressive episodes that were happening too often and were getting worse which almost landed me back in the hospital. I worked with my doctor to tweak my meds on an outpatient basis. That's when I went up on my Wellbutrin to 450. It's ok so far...however I think it MAY be a contributing factor to this craziness in my life right now. But my episodes are as bad as they can get. Talk about physically NOT being able to get out of bed even if I truly tried my hardest. I couldn't. I typically lay in bed and cry and cry and cry. And lonely...man that's like my middle name. I live in NY so I am constantly surrounded by people, yet I am in a whole world of my own. Even still now. My thoughts are negative enough to make anyone in my life to RUN in the opposite direction! I truly don't mean it. I don't realize how down on myself I sound that it affects people around me. I just last Friday lost one of the greatest friendships in my life because the depression, the obsessiveness is too overwhelming. I understand, yet it hurts like you cannot believe. And I am usually pretty tired just all day no matter how much sleep or exercise I get. I believe it to just all be related to the imbalance in my brain and perfecting it with just meds is probably impossible.
    What is the treatment exactly for low testosterone?? I have hypothyroidism, which contributes to be tired all the time or more depressive episodes. But I'm on Synthroid and get the levels checked often.
    Hang in there too. You're going to be ok.
    Amy

     
    Old 02-22-2013, 05:50 AM   #4
    Buck8466
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Depression is brutal. I really hope there is some kind of miracle breakthrough that really works permanently. I have been on and off meds since my teens. Up until this past fall, I hadn't been on them for about 4-5 years. It always seems to work, but I feel like I get a tolerance to them. I was told that by my psych said that wellbutrin can make you anxious and he didn't recommend increasing my dosage, but suggested we try something else in the near future.
    Since then, I found out about the T being low. I have my follow up appointment with the urologist today, so I hope he will give me treatment options depending on the blood work results. When he checked my equipment, he said they were normal. If the blood work shows a thyroid problem, I hope there is a way to treat that and have my body increase my T level on it's own. Ultimately, if everything comes back good, its my testes that are not doing their job and I will need intramuscular injections (giant needle in the butt) on a weekly basis for the rest of my life(from what I read so far on the internet). That alone is enough to make me second guess the treatment, although there are patches and gels available. From what I read, the patches and gels are more toxic for liver or kidneys (could be wrong. I've had to process a lot of new info recently). I'll get back to you later with the results. Have a nice day
    BO

     
    Old 02-25-2013, 12:24 PM   #5
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Hi JustAmy2013.

    How long have you been on Wellbutrin? How long have you been on the increased dosage? If you've been on this med for a while or if you've experienced new symptoms, it may no longer be working.

    I was diagnosed with major depression, anxiety disorder and OCD about 18 years ago. The Psychiatrist put me on Luvox and it seemed to really help. My GP switched me to Paxil about 10 years ago and that worked very well, up until November of last year.

    I'm on Effexor right now and it's doing nothing to control my symptoms, especially my anxiety and OCD. My OCD is so out of control that it's leaving me mentally exhausted. I go back to see my GP in a couple of weeks and will ask to be put on something else....something that will manage my symptoms and NOT cause me to lose hair.

    Last edited by Administrator; 02-26-2013 at 10:23 AM.

     
    Old 02-26-2013, 10:12 AM   #6
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    Unhappy Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Hi GlowGal...

    Thanks for responding first off.
    And I've been on Wellbutrin for a couple years. The increase from 300mg to 450mg was maybe the end of December/beginning of January. He increased it because of the severe depressive episodes I was having. I was very very close to going inpatient.

    Anyhow, after the increase, my episodes dissipated. However, this onset of obsessiveness has gone from bad to much worse. And like I said in my initial post, I have not been able to see my doctor because he's moving his practice. I just now found out that my insurance won't cover a private practice (he was head of psychiatry at a hospital before) and I cannot see him at all! This doctor has been an angel in my life and has helped me with so much that I considered him one of the (very few) most important people in my life. I'm not handling the fact of getting someone new well at all. My mother, fortunately, is going to pay his fee for a few sessions to help me with not only the transition but this new OCD thing. Because she's seen it firsthand and it's safe to say that it's scaring her as well. I stay at her apartment in the city a lot and she's had to watch me straighten EVERYTHING until i felt it was "perfect". It causing, like you said "mental exhaustion" and such anxiety because while I'm doing it, I KNOW it's crazy! But I swear to her that "I CAN'T STOP!", crying and trembling as I straighten and face forward every single thing in the cabinets. I'm at the point where I will sit in my chair at my computer in my room for hours sometimes...just sitting there...because I DON'T want to get up and walk past something that isn't straightened or lined up or clean enough. I would feel safe sitting there because I am so TIRED OF THIS!! It's MADDENING!! So now, I believe that I am beginning to get depressed. I am crying way too often now and just sad all the time. My doctor emailed me that he MIGHT be set up to see me this week. But it probably won't be until next week. I can't take much more of this...I can tell you that.

    I'm sorry to ramble on, but as you can tell...I really have no one else I can talk to. So your symptoms have now gotten worse on Effexor?? I was on that, along with pretty much everything else. What are your symptoms exactly with your OCD?? Anything like mine?? And are there specific meds for OCD or is it trial and error of anti-depressants??

    Thanks for listening to me. I'm at a loss as to what to do.
    Amy

    Last edited by Administrator; 02-26-2013 at 10:26 AM.

     
    Old 02-26-2013, 04:43 PM   #7
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Amy, OCD is harder to treat than depression, takes stronger meds, and takes longer to get relief. Hang in there, please. I'm sending strength and courage your way! Please ask your doc if you can possibly try Prozac at it's highest dose - 80 mg.....my doc told me years ago that any SSRI that is not as strong as Prozac at 60-80 mg will do nothing for the obsessions and compulsions. So it's a matter of the right meds, the proper dosage and just you hanging in there and being strong so the meds can do their thing. You are not alone. Besides Prozac for OCD, an older medication called Anafranil has been shown to work well. Good Luck, and know that we are here to help.

     
    Old 02-28-2013, 06:38 PM   #8
    JustAmy2013
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Hi PaisleyPrincess...

    I first wanted to say thank you for the response. Anyone who takes the time to help someone they don't even know but can relate to, means a lot to me.

    Like I mentioned in my original post, my doctor/therapist (who has been a Godsend to me for over two years) is moving his practice due to his hospital closing down. So I haven't seen him in nearly three weeks!! And I normally go weekly. This is the longest I've gone without seeing him and I feel like I am falling apart. I know he's going through a lot of stress himself, and he's been so good to me over the years, that I should cut him a break from my drama for awhile. I do email with everything that is going on and he just asks for me to hold on just a bit longer. I just found out this week that because of my HORRIBLE insurance, that I can no longer see him. I can't begin to tell you how devastated I am and I am NOT handling having to find someone new not well at all. I've seen doctors and therapists since I was 11 and this was the very first man who quite frankly saved my life on more than one occasion. He listens to me and provides me with not only professional advice, but with advice from personal experiences. Being that he's one of the people I can count on one hand that care enough about me to be in my life, this isn't an easy loss. Not to mention I feel my mental health is in jeopardy. My mother, being one of those amazing people in my life, sees how bad the OCD is getting and depression coming on, that she's agreed to pay for a few sessions with him to help me with a transition. That is a definite bright side.

    So I have not yet been able to speak to him about possibly changing my meds. He knows a little about the insane things and rituals I do, but not the extent of it. I'm trying my best to hold on as best I can on my own and with the close help of the three very good people in my life.

    I'm also replying to your post in the OCD boards. What you said meant a lot to me. I truly appreciate the advice. Which I took and did order a book on OCD and a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook. So thank you. And thank you for telling me that you can relate to the "perfecting" everything and also the "obsessive" thoughts that keep me up at night as well. I would give anything to sleep through one night.

    So thank you again and know wherever you are out there, my thoughts are with you and wishing you well.
    Amy

     
    Old 03-06-2013, 03:26 PM   #9
    JustAmy2013
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by paisleyprincess View Post
    Amy, OCD is harder to treat than depression, takes stronger meds, and takes longer to get relief. Hang in there, please. I'm sending strength and courage your way! Please ask your doc if you can possibly try Prozac at it's highest dose - 80 mg.....my doc told me years ago that any SSRI that is not as strong as Prozac at 60-80 mg will do nothing for the obsessions and compulsions. So it's a matter of the right meds, the proper dosage and just you hanging in there and being strong so the meds can do their thing. You are not alone. Besides Prozac for OCD, an older medication called Anafranil has been shown to work well. Good Luck, and know that we are here to help.
    Hi Princess...
    I just wanted to let you know my doctor did add Prozac 20mgs to my meds. You were right. He said it should help calm the obsessive thinking and the compulsion to constantly organize and make everything "perfect". I started it yesterday. I feel like I am in a constant state of panic. No idea of what. But it leaves an enormous knot in my stomach that is so uncomfortable that I will go all day without eating because it's that bad. I'm not thinking about anything. It's just there. Ever experience that???

     
    Old 03-07-2013, 05:34 AM   #10
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Amy,

    The anxiety your are feeling/panicky feelings makes your stomach knot up. While you are letting the Prozac do what it needs to, the best thing to do is find things to occupy your time, which I know sounds like the impossible right now. Start by doing some deep breathing, closing your eyes, and thinking of the word 'relax.' I used to imagine the word looking like strands of spaghetti sometimes the spaghetti was lime green, sometimes pink, etc. After this you can reward yourself. You did something positive! Next, I got a book of crossword puzzles, now I'm not a genius, but with each puzzle (and my husband helped, too) I felt like I had accomplished something. Then I would try to fix my hair with the INSTYLER. You can go online and get tips/tricks/etc, so again you've made a small 'victory.' Resist the urge to straighten up, clean out drawers and cabinets, etc. The trick is, in staying somewhat busy, you will get 'outside' your own head, if even for a little bit. I had my first panic attack just before the holiday, and I can relate. I didn't know what to do? Should I stand, walk around, .....just what? It was a horrific feeling, please know that others share your symptoms, and that's just what they are 'symptoms.' They have no bearing on who you are, what you believe in, etc. Today is a challenge for me since I've completed most of the housework and have dinner under control. Maybe I'll concentrate on getting some wash done and reading about dieting/meal planning. I'm joining WW on Sunday as I feel like I need to get out more. The winter weather has done nothing for my psyche. I'm sure you feel the same way. But you have to somehow muster the inner strength to fight....take it a day at a time and don't burden yourself. Try to do positive things that will make you feel like you've accomplished something. You can also watch silly shows on TV. About eating, get some ginger ale and saltines. Eat one slowly and have a sip of soda, just a little. You will feel better, please have faith. People are wishing you well, but again, call on your inner strength, and fight the battle as best you can. Just the effort will pay off in a big way. Let me know how you're doing.

     
    Old 03-08-2013, 11:29 AM   #11
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Hi Princess...

    How are you doing??
    Thank you so much for the suggestions. I read your reply yesterday morning but didn't have a chance to reply. I was running late. But late yesterday I was stuffed in the subway like a sausage and started to get very very anxious...heart racing, face getting hot, trying to take a deep breath. Anyway, I closed my eyes and pictured the word "relax" being slowly spelled out in (like you said) a long pink spaghetti strand! It worked! I had to keep doing it, but it definitely helped!So thank you very much for that. Where did you come up with that?? You sound like a Professional!

    I also bought a "calming" tea yesterday. I drink a lot of tea. And yes, I keep a stash of saltines on hand. It's just so difficult to manage as it's not a physical stomach pain (as you know), like nausea you can get rid of, but it's totally emotional. And that takes work and practice to manage I'm beginning to understand.

    And I am with you about the weather. I know for me...when it's just cloudy out, I feel just miserable. Doesn't have to be raining, just cloudy. But for you..it's all of Winter huh?? Believe it or not, I tend to get depressed during the summer months. I know. It's typically the opposite. But for some reason, the heat makes me want to stay inside and thus always staying in alone leads to you know what.
    So you're joining WW?? Good for you! I did for a bit last year as well. What goal do you have in mind.

    Oh and I start a Volunteer job this Monday in cardiac at my hospital. It's Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays...9am-1pm. Which will be great for me. It will force me out of bed and I can go straight to the gym from there those days. So having three full days so far for the week is huge for me. Like you said...keep busy and keep busy some more.
    Anyway, thank you so much for the "relax" suggestion.
    And I too have an INSTYLER!! Love it!

     
    Old 03-16-2013, 01:20 PM   #12
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    Re: ((PLEASE HELP)) OCD and Depression...

    Amy, I'm happy the 'relax' suggestion did the trick. It just came to me one night lying in bed trying to rid my head of the incessant crazy thoughts. It will work if you imagine the spaghetti of different (your fav) colors I can't believe you are volunteering!!! You GO, Girl....I've been actually thinking of doing the same thing, and your going to the Gym sounds like you're really doing some 'clear' thinking....some won't know why i make mention of 'clear,' but those of us with OCD are so thankful for clarity. I think besides clarity, peace of mind for me is a huge goal, i'll continue to think positive and maybe someday? I bought a few OCD books, hoping to educate myself some more, but honestly, not such a good idea. I think we need to try to 'clear' our brains, not pile on more OCD information.....at least not yet. I am fortunate to have a very loving husband who 'gets it' when i feel antsy at home and need a break from the incessant cleaning and straightening. We go out, sometimes lunch or dinner, sometimes just a ride to alleviate the feeling of being alientated in the house. So the weekends are a welcome treat. It really helps when we finally realize we're not alone in our sometimes chaotic/confused/insane world. I think we can pat ourselves on the back for being proactive and realizing that with meds, a decent doctor, and people who are in our corner we can make good progress. Baby steps. Patience. Activity. Giving to others. We can take things one day at a time and with faith we can function well, even better than well sometimes. Enjoy the rest of the weekend, and I'm so happy you are sounding better, focused, and centered.

     
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