It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Depression Message Board

What should I do?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-18-2013, 11:04 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 8
rickyabc123 HB User
What should I do?

I am a 21 year old college student who normally leads a very happy and fulfilling life. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder a few years ago and of course it bothers me but I have learned to deal with it and haven't had any problems for some time and I never took SSRIs, only xanex on a few occasions that I needed it.

However, the other day, for whatever reason I started thinking a lot about death and have just been terrified by it. The thought that one day I and everyone I love will cease to exist is so fearful that it may even be considered a phobia. At first I was extremely anxious, it made me feel very nauseous for several days and gave me other symptoms as well. The anxiety has gone away, at least for now, but I am still not "better" and I wonder if I am depressed.

I fear death more than I ever have before and the fact that I will die one day is so extreme that it almost doesn't feel real. It makes me think, if nothing matters, why should I care about anything in life? I'm just going to die one day anyway, regardless of how long I live. I have been having a really hard time feeling normal emotions and caring about literally anything. I have been trying to just go through the motions and keep my life normal but I just don't feel like myself at all. I see someone eating a certain food or playing a certain game and I am just like what is the difference in the long run? Before I loved these same things and enjoyed the little things in life and I need to go back to that. I have talked to the people that are closest to me but they have not been able to help me as much as I need.

My question is, will this feeling of emptiness and not caring go away when the depression goes away? Will I go back to the way I was before just enjoying life and not thinking so much about death and what matters? I have been exercising and trying to keep myself busy. All I honestly want is to go back to the way I was a few days ago and the thought that maybe I won't scares me to death. I feel like what is the point of trying to live a long life when I could die tomorrow or in 70 years and my memories will go away either way. It is also important to note that I have never believed in religion and don't think I will ever believe or disbelieve in god 100%.

Are these things symptoms of depression and will they go away? I am seeing my counselor next week but I just don't know how long I can deal with this. My fear is, now that I am thinking this way about death and everything, why am I going to wake up one day and not feel this way anymore? Has anyone dealt with this and know if it will get better (hopefully soon)?

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 03-20-2013, 12:59 PM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: McLean VA
Posts: 121
Leegh HB UserLeegh HB UserLeegh HB UserLeegh HB User
Re: What should I do?

I'm sorry you've been going through all of this, but the only thing I can suggest is to not take the Xanax anymore, as Xanax can cause re-bound anxiety. Xanax can be useful for an extreme emergency, but try not to take it unless it is absolutely necessary. There is a Greek word "Anhedonia" which means loss of joy and pleasure. If you do a Google search on it, you will find many, many articles on it. I don't know if you have Anhedonia but there should be some helpful information on the sites which are in the ballpark of what your symptoms are. Good Luck

Old 03-20-2013, 02:51 PM   #3
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 8
rickyabc123 HB User
Re: What should I do?

Thanks Leegh, I got a prescription for it over a year ago with 30 pills and I have only taken maybe 10. Since I have been having this problem, I have taken it twice with no real plans to do it again. I agree that it definitely isn't the answer and I only took it when I thought I needed it because of the extreme symptoms. I will look into the information that you gave me, thank you!

Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:20 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!