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Joni1205 01-31-2015 07:07 AM

I suffer with bouts of major depression. I am currenly going through one now. My adult son is recovering in the hospital from accute pancreatitis and detox from alcholo. He also has fatty liver disease. I'm hoping this episode will help him realize he has to stop drinking. He is my only child and the only family, I do have an awesome boyfriend. But he does not understand how bad depression can be. I also lost my job of 15 years last year. Was just hired at another job 3 days. They did not give me any training and put me on the front line the first day. Yesteday when I was leaving I was told I wasn't a good fit and they were going to let me go. I was so shocked. I feel like my life is a constant roller coaster ride. A good thing happens, then something bad. I do not have insurance so I can not afford proper medications. I currently take trazodone 50 mg and clonazepam .25 mg during the day. At night trazodone 200 mg and 1 mg of clonazepam. My family has no idea how low I feel right now and I don't want them to know. I just feel so tired, alone, sad and unmotivated. This is my first time posting. Not sure what I expect. Maybe just wondering if anyone is going through same situation and how they get through it. Anyway, thank you for listening.

keenobserver 01-31-2015 10:20 PM

Re: Depression
It seems like you have been suffering from depression for a long time in your life. At the moment all the awful feelings that are associated with negative thoughts throughout your life are all falling on top of you and you have to deal with them. This may take time and effort but maybe you can analyse the first time you suffered from depression. It could be from something small but that something small is usually a sign of things not going well in your life or expecting more.
At the same time start trying to find things you enjoy. Increasing the list of things to do in a day helps in keeping yourself busy and will be a step for you to find out what you enjoy in life and thus have less "bouts of depression".
Keep us informed. Thanks

MSNik 02-01-2015 02:23 AM

Re: Depression
I also agree witht the above poster. Why dont you want your family to know? They might be able to help you. Support, no matter where you find it, is important. We are here for you here, but you might also look into an actual support group so you can make some friends who understand what you are going through.
Im sorry to hear about your son, but please remember he is an adult and has to take responsiblity for his own decisions. His hospitalization appears to be caused by his drinking. He has to care about that enough to stop drinking. You cant be responsible for that, even though you love him
Please talk to others about how you are feeling. Someone else will care, even if it isnt your family.

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