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  • What really is "normal?"

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    Old 09-06-2005, 12:02 PM   #31
    LS289
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    We had the BBQ. I feel badly about what I ate. Here we go again...
    I am going to exercise today, though, and hopefully later on in the day I will feel better. Maybe I am just still digesting from yesterday. Haha. Ate pineapple upside down cake, which is what really made me feel gross.

    Today I wanted to compensate, but already messed that up. I am full again.
    Breakfast: Nonfat latte, banana, strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries
    Lunch: Arugula salad with grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, bell peppers, 1/2 cup lowfat cottage cheese and lowfat yogurt sauce.

     
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    Old 09-06-2005, 01:56 PM   #32
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    It's almost as if you are saying being full is a bad thing? One week from right now, it wont matter what you ate. I dont mean to be blunt, but get over it. Just be glad you arent one of the thousands down in New Orleans starving.

     
    Old 09-06-2005, 11:46 PM   #33
    LS289
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    You are right - I am very fortunate that I am not one of the many in New Orleans that are starving, and I am aware of that. I am trying to help with donations to those people and my thoughts are with them.

    But in no way was I comparing myself to them or trying to make their situation less important. That is a completely different issue. I'm sorry if you think that I am being selfish, but I just don't think that my issues with food and body image have any relation to those in New Orleans or make my sympathy any less existent.

     
    Old 09-07-2005, 12:22 PM   #34
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    I think that is a little harsh Magnolia...
    Yes, of course there are people suffering all over the world and our "problems" can seem insignificant compared to that...but they aren't.
    Our problems are our problems, no matter what they are...and you can't compare them. LS' issues are totally valid for her. They are very real, and very upsetting. Telling someone to just "get over it" is not helpful at all, and only makes people feel as if their feelings aren't valid or important.
    I think we'd all love to say we only think about others, and we give all our extra money to charity, and we never judge others. But this just isn't true, everyone has something internal (and I mean mentally internal) that they deal with on a daily basis. While it can be helpful (and it is important) to have a broader view of the world to keep things in perspective, we don't want to do it at the expense of our own feelings.

     
    Old 09-07-2005, 01:45 PM   #35
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    You are right, Amo. I do not know know what LS is going through, so i guess it just seems useless for me to have said that. My deepest apologies, LS, i obviously wasnt thinking clear when I wrote that..

     
    Old 09-07-2005, 11:38 PM   #36
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    No worries at all. I completely understand why you would have said something like that. There are a lot of terrible things going on in the world right now and my eating and exercise seems petty, to say the least. But I still deal with my issues on a daily basis (as Amo pointed out) and they are very real and draining for me, no matter what else is going on in the world.

    Thank you, Amo, for posting your opinion. I couldn't have said it better myself.

     
    Old 09-08-2005, 12:37 PM   #37
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    no, LS it just seems petty with me to say something like that because I have no clue what is going on. This may or may not mean anything to you, coming from someone who obviously isnt going through what you are oging through, but life it too short to worry about things like this and tyou should love and respect yourself and eat whatever you want to

     
    Old 09-08-2005, 12:49 PM   #38
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    LS, I can totally relate to how you feel right now. I'm going through a "down" phase and have been struggling this past week or so. There are times I feel as though I am recovered and completely normal then it just hits me again like a ton of bricks and all of the sudden these thoughts and worries come back again. That is why I really haven't been posting much to give advice. During times like these I would feel hypocritical if I did. But I've been stressed out lately too with school and everything else and I'm sure that's the reason for this small "relapse". I feel as though I'm beginning to get back on my feet again. I'm feeling better today and not focusing quite as much on my eating or my body. I know how hard it is to just tell yourself "IT'S OK!" Because during your worst times it seems like just a lie. But when you begin digging yourself out of that rut, things begin to come into a clearer perspective and you realize that everything is actually "ok". That's why I believe attitude is everything. When you carry a positive attitude things are just so much easier. I've been working alot on that lately and changing all of my evil, negative beliefs. But you are right to say your feelings ARE important regardless of what else may be happening in the world that to everyone else seems much more important. Your feelings are yours! And are real and matter! Putting yourself first is not a selfish act. Some believe it is but I am a big believer in "You can never love another unless you first love yourself". Putting yourself, your needs and feelings first are only going to make you a better person, a better friend, lover, daughter, sister, productive member of society and so on. So therefore it is not selfish because it not only benefits you but all others too. Most of my life I have felt belittled, inadequate, and like my feelings didn't matter. Certain people in my life made me feel that way. But now I'm breaking free of those feelings. I've begun my journey of self-discovery and I'm slowly learning more everyday about who I am and I'm beginning to accept myself more and more and love myself unconditionally. But even as amazing as this journey has been I still have my downfalls and I still get discouraged and feel hopeless. It's those times that I've learned that I need to love myself even more and accept that I am not perfect and be ok with that. When I have a downfall I just slowly pick myself up, brush off, and move on. The point that I'm trying to reach here is that I think you would benefit alot from some soul searching to figure out the reasons behind why you do what you do. It's only then, when you dig deep down to the roots, that you will find your answer and be able to start moving forward. And also start practicing self-love. Start by trying to be less critical of yourself. A good rule of thumb to go by is for every negative remark you make to yourself think of at least 3 positive ones. It really does work. But one thing to remember is that this too takes time. Don't expect to wake up tomorrow and completely love yourself. It doesn't happen like that. We've been so cruel to ourselves for so long that changing our attitudes and the way we think of ourselves is going to take time. Just try to keep a positive attitude and know that someday things will be better and you can put all of this behind you. Keep trying and hang in there ok? (((hugs)))

     
    Old 09-08-2005, 07:19 PM   #39
    LS289
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    Thanks, Magnolia. I completely understand what you are saying and I accept your apology 100%. You are right with your advice.

    Piscean - I am so sorry to hear that you are in a "down" period. You have to know that it won't last forever and you are FINE. I know you FEEL like you are fat&you FEEL like you are eating a lot, etc, etc, but you are NOT. And me saying that is so far-removed from the voice in your head, but you have to trust me, just like I have to trust you. I can think of 100s of times during the past year where I have felt fat or like I am gaining weight or like what I ate was awful or like i was a huge slug b/c i didn't exercise (the list goes on), but in reality, none of it is as significant as it seems. Have you really even gained very much weight even when you are TRYING to gain weight? NO. Will eating badly one day, two days, even three days make you fat? NO. I should take my own advice b/c it is so clear when I say it to you. You are still so thin for your height and to even think twice about your food seems silly to anyone else, but you (and me b/c I completely understand where you are coming from).
    But when you read my posts and my concerns, don't you see how obvious it is that there is so much wasted energy going into food, exercise, etc? Can I give you an example? Today I have eaten "ok" according to me...
    Breakfast: Lowfat cottage cheese, banana, nectarine, some strawberries
    Lunch: Bagel with lowfat cream cheese, tomato, and capers
    Snack: Apple, 2 salt water taffy
    Dinner: Grilled buffalo (very good! Leaner than steak!), baked beans, salad with lf dressing, tomato, and avocado, 1/2 of a roll
    Snack: some honey toasted cashews and the frosting off of a small brownie (oops)
    Dessert: Maybe frozen yogurt
    I am feeling really badly right now about my dinner b/c I feel like I ate more than I was planning on and I hate that I ate the frosting off that brownie. But for me to waste my energy, time, and happiness to be upset about that would be RIDICULOUS, but I almost did! Before I came on here to post I was letting it get the best of me and now I am not going to!! I ate it. That's it. And I'll be fine. Period. Right?

    You are right - I need to do some soul searching and really figure out what my values are. I think that the trip I am going on in one week (moving to another country with some friends for 6 months!!) will be amazing for that. But at the same time, that is what is making me so anxious right now. I'll be eating weird food, not exercising NEARLy as much as I am now, and probably getting big and fat. I just can't stand to think about that and it makes me soooo incredibly anxious!!!
    Anyway, sorry this has gotten so long. Basically, I just don't want you to lose faith and i want you to know that everyone here is extremely supportive of you and understands your dilemma completely.
    I truly hope that we can both let go of our anxiety soon b/c it's just so draining...and so not worth it....

     
    Old 09-08-2005, 07:38 PM   #40
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    Re: What really is "normal?"

    Normal? For me? Today I ate a can of tomato soup and a bowl of chili. Yesterday I ate a bowl of weenie mac and a plate of spagetti. The day before that I ate a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit and a plate of roasted chicken, beans, and macaroni and cheese. I have been eating too much lately for me. I have a very low metabolism and have been gaining weight like crazy. Some days I just don't get hungry so I don't eat anything. I work hard physical labor 3 or 4 days a week for about 5 hours a day. So I reckon that's a workout. The rest of the time I do as little as humanly possible.

    Normal is what you usually eat. What's normal for me would probably starve others. To me it's too much. I can get by on just a pbj sandwich for the day and be fine. Normal doesn't exist for humans. At least I don't think it does.

     
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