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MrDister78 08-10-2011 06:17 PM

I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
Hi all.

Saying "hi" "hello".. "how are you?" and basic small talk
that's all fine and I may sound like i'm totally normal. but then when it's starts getting complicated I get very confused and I can't understand/participate.

So the problem with me is that since I can talk ok and understand basic things and even asking about my illnesses(ask dr) etc and i seem bright.. When it comes to Explaining, Deep conversations, Fast speech, understand phonecalls that are more complex like at work etc. and participating in Gossip,, i can't do it. Just recently i was laid off from my work(some month ago) because i just coudln't do it. I couldn't understand. The work was me doing everything cause i was a temp. But they tested me in a few departments including Customer Service and i sucked. I couldn't participlate in meetings and i couldn't explain/describe the problems which they talked to me about in the phone.

I get very confused. And also at times when they explan sometthing to me i feel that i understand but actually i'm not understanding anything. and then i forget it.

So anyways, the Therapist and Speech therapist said I have disability and they gonna asses me but being that i do well in the basic small talk, will i still be considered to have a disability?

I dont look very disabled until i open my mouth and i get stuck and can't think and i have long pauses. But this happens mostly when i start getting beyond the basic smalltalk.

I'm male age 30

sunni123 08-10-2011 07:44 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
I can relate. I too have difficulty with verbal communication but have learned ways to compensate over time. Unfortunately, this doesn't get me very far. I am unable to make friends or communicate with people on any 'deep' level. Things go wrong very quickly after a minute - or maybe more if there are enough distractions.

Whether your disability is visible or not - it is still a disability. First impressions are very powerful. If you do OK in small talk, people may mistakenly assume that you are keeping pace at a complex level also. Misunderstanding can arise, because they assume you don't have a disability due to the initial impression you make, then if things go wrong they may attribute it to something other than the is very frustrating! I don't know if this is the case with you, but I frequently find it hard to tell people that really, I'm not 'getting it', because I get very anxious and want the interaction to flow smoothly. However, perhaps there is a way to approach the situation so that people do understand. In a work situation, it is hard, because if you got through the interview and tried hard to make a good 1st impression, it may be hard to ask for accommodation. People, professionals or not, will probably have an unconscious bias even after you explain that the 1st impression doesn't tell the full story. You have to advocate for yourself, over and over.

Hopefully your speech therapist can address some of these concerns.

MrDister78 08-10-2011 08:24 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
Hi thanks.
Well yeah people don't believe me always. The therapists did believe me but other people just think I'm shy.

Well but I've proven that I often get confused with language so working in regular companies is really difficult for me. For example at my last work where they fired me. I didn't talk at all and they all thought i was weird and just quiet.

But the real reason is cause i don't really have anything in my brain that makes sense. And one time this guy came and told me something, he thought i ignored him but actually i didn't really understand anything he said and i was really confused with what he said. And i was confused even after asking him to repeat it

He ended up now thinking that i was just ignoring him and being mean but in actuality i just really got confused with him.

And imagine, like 30 people( the people where i worked) all talking like that all the time and me not understanding.

One girl gave me some instructions and i was totally confused even though everybody else understands those kinds of instsructions. I ended up not knowing what to do at all.

A lot of these things happened in all the Jobs i have done even in the ones where i didn't have to reallly speak for the job. But communication was still important and so i messed up alot and i caused problems

MrDister78 08-10-2011 08:33 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
oh by the way ever since highschool i took foreign language classes and even now i still know the one i studied in college.
Interestingly, i seem more fluent in that language than I am in English. for some reason. I mean i'm not high level in that language either but i seem to be able to speak a bit more fluent.
well i've only seen that phenomenon when i talk to my self. When i talk with others i also get stuck in thta language cause i can't think fast

I'm also good with music.

mscat40 08-10-2011 09:52 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
You also write very well ;) I am sorry for your language problems. If you are able to still work and make a substaniel amount of money , over $1000 a month in spite of your disablity then social security will deny you. Maybe one job that requires a lot of social interaction would not be right for you, but anther job that might be working with computors or something would be a great job for you.

MrDister78 08-10-2011 10:33 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
Thanks. well i don't write well. just usually when i tell something but i'm not good with essays. I failed essays always(C-, Ds and Fs). Yeah when i had a job i made more that 1000 but well it wasn't a speaking job. it was filing. but then when they started moving me to more talking,, they started noticing i didn't talk(cause i can't think and speak fast) that's when they fired me. In everyjob i've had it's the same. They don't like me cause i can't speak well.

By the way in case you didnt see my other thread.

I"m noticing that one of the reasons i can't speak fluent is cause if i try, i end up making garbage connections.
"School is stupedeble johnson when trying to understand what i try to clean my social treeable" <-- All this junk comes out if i try to speak fluently. My mind can't catch up so i can't really speak fluently.

I can make sense only when i speak slow. I take alot more time and effort
like this "I think......uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... i think............uhm...............................that.....................I think that school is uhmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,, I think that school is very important because.....uhhhhh because...........................................because....................................
I think......that school uh is very important because....uhhhhhhhhhhhhmm.
people can learn and understand about................."

That's kind of how it takes me to form thoughts that make sense.
If i do it fast it ends up coming up like the example i showed of my fast speaking sentence.

So this is why companies don't like me. And the topic gets even more adult/complex.. then I'm really stuck. The other day i tried to talk to someone and i was stuck for like 5 minutes couldn't think nothing.
THe person was nice cause she was in the therapy place but other people would not be that patient

mscat40 08-11-2011 02:57 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
That sounds very difficult .When you were a childe and in grade school did you recieve special education services or and speech therapy? I am wondering is you would be eligible for rehab services. I am wondering if your next job you will tell them about this disability before getting hired because then it will be covered under the Amercian Disability Act. SO they would not be able to fire you.

MrDister78 08-11-2011 03:32 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
Hi mscat

thanks for responding.

Well it is really difficult but the thing is i'm not always stuck, especially in easy subjects I'm not always stuck so people don't believe me. But in difficult meetings that i had at work, about things like HEALTH INSURANCE etc where they're explaining things like that. That's where i get stuck very much. At work we had those kind of meetings and i was absolutely confused.

In saying "hi how are you?" "What are your hobbies? oh really.. where do you live?? Where have you traveled" "what did you do?" " i did this and then i did this ...".. Things like that, don't make me very stuck. I do become stuck but i do manage to say it so people don't really think I had problems saying it.

So my thing is complex because I can sound normal at times but then at other times i become completely confused.

When i was a child my speech therapy was my mother reading me some cheap little comic book after i had my brain injury and couldn't talk. I dont know if i got more professonal speech therapy befoer that cause i dont have any memory of the time. ALl that is erased from my brain.
Yeah next time i get a job I will tell them

But people just think i'm shy. they don't quite understand.

Just cause i can read at a normal speed, for example, people think I'm actually understanding what i read. But i actually struggle to understand what i read. I can understand what you guys say but more college type books etc I don't understand or even if i understand i can't discuss what i understand cause i can't translate it to spoken language. That's why i failed and did bad in many college classes

SpineAZ 08-11-2011 08:57 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
I think you need a full work up by someone who evaluates brain functioning such as a neurologist or neuropsychologist to start. If it takes you a while, type up why you are there since you are unable to usually clearly communicate it. They can do simple tests like asking you to explain something, repeat directions, etc. You may have a brain processing issue which is disabling.

MrDister78 08-11-2011 10:33 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
Thank you SpineAZ.

Yeah that's what the therapist said I have. She set me up an appointment with a center that helps people with disabilities find work/training/and be independent. They're gonna assess me. But i don't know if there's neurologists there, maybe their regular people and not drs.

SpineAZ 08-11-2011 10:49 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
Sometimes that may include social workers or psychologists who give standard tests. Let them know you feel a total disconnect in thought and intake processing and thus verbal expression and interaction.

BlueSkies14 08-12-2011 04:32 AM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
Are you possibly thinking about applying for disability benefits MrDistersoc78 for this cognitive deficit?

MrDister78 08-12-2011 05:58 AM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
I dont' know but I have failed in life due to it. And I can't get a descent job due to this thing. Plus i got a bunch of other dibilitating physical problems(damaged kneees, leg, ankle, neck, both shoulders, hands, Spine problem).

Well i just want someone to point me in a right diriection for a career cause so far nothing is working and I have trouble learning and speaking so i'm jobless.

have my appt in 4 hours. :)

MrDister78 08-12-2011 01:22 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
Hello guys. I'm back.

I had my meeting. And what happened is she told me I should sign up for SSI and State disability.

Basically my main problems that affect for not being able to find work are:
ear damage, knees damaged, spine damage that creates pain in chest, and the speech problem. I mean i have finger pain too but if i say that too, then they will say I'm not good enough to be looking for jobs.

And the way i see it is, that if i got Disabilty insurance that i will have to be actively looking for work. or am i??? wait. I think she said that I shouldn't be looking for work....

Well but I have disabitlies but I have other ways i can still work. Just the main things i can't do are walk(very much) or bend my knees or carry heavy boxes or move heavy stuff AND also I'm not good with speaking specially with complex conversations Yet i'm still smart enough to do computer work or something . And i can learn but learn slowly so that i can get some training.

So, how does this work?? Cause if i get Disability insurace doesn't that mean, i can't be looking for work????

Anyways, she was explaining me the forms and what wer're gonna do.
And she said like 1 or 2 sentences and I didn't understand any of it.

It was interesting, you see, people say stuff that i can understand in reading(if i spend time studying it very carefully) but when they say it in fluent speech just passes my ears but i don't process it.

Anyways, BUT also i have another question for you guys. You guys think I qualify? Cause i have knee and shouder, and leg and spine problems but i can still move just have to be careful. ANd it depends, sometimes i can walk ok and if i'm careful it doesn't hurt but sometimes I can't walk almost at all.
And then the Speech thing, like i said, but since my processing fails sometimes and sometimes not.. then will they even believe me?

mscat40 08-12-2011 01:57 PM

Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations
you can go to the offical Social Security Website and in the search box that is in the far right , type in Blue Book. It will have have a spot where it says adult listings under the blue book, click on that and it will have a list of certain conditions, then if you click the one that is under your catorgory you can see what social security looks for and accepts as a disability under social security rules. Even if the listing is there social security needs to know how severe the disability is and if it prevents a person from earning a substaniel gainful activity, and then S.S. looks looks at the duration of disability.
A lot of the social security claims can take a year or two years to get approved. So be ready for a long road. lOoks like you have assistance to file your claim which is good. Social security will ask for names and addiress of Dr.s therapists, Md's that have treated your condition so have those ready to put down on your application. They will obtain your medical records to determine your disability claim. If they don't have enough information then the will send you to one of their Dr's. This is a long, slow process, but it is important to start right away when you have a disability that affects you from working a SGA.

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