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What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"


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Old 03-27-2012, 02:26 PM   #31
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

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Originally Posted by SpineAZ View Post
Those close to me know why I'm out of work, sometimes they forget until I cnatydo an activity or have to cut my time short when doing something. If I do get questions I don't listen everything I say "widespread musculoskeletal issues resulting in numerous surgeries" And for those close (extended family) who worry I say "the demands of work cause my joints to deteriorate quickly, by not working and carefully managing my activities it may lessen the need for surgeries and slow down incidence of joint deterioration ". Of course people want a one word answers like it's MS or RA , and I have to say it doesn't have a name, just widespread joint laxity.

I haven't been around a while, had a major life event: I'm adopted, got my actual birth cert and found my half siblings (birth mom deceased). It's been a whirlwind month!
I to am adopted do you mind me asking how you got your real birth certificate. I have been trying & have not suceeded since all these medical issues I have tried to find a family history to help me understand and have been unsucessful. I have no starting point other than my original name of "rosemary" and the city where I was born. Thanks for any info....
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Old 03-27-2012, 02:28 PM   #32
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

I also say that due to medical issues I am out on LTD, and work at getting back to work.
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Old 03-27-2012, 02:55 PM   #33
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpineAZ View Post
Those close to me know why I'm out of work, sometimes they forget until I cnatydo an activity or have to cut my time short when doing something. If I do get questions I don't listen everything I say "widespread musculoskeletal issues resulting in numerous surgeries" And for those close (extended family) who worry I say "the demands of work cause my joints to deteriorate quickly, by not working and carefully managing my activities it may lessen the need for surgeries and slow down incidence of joint deterioration ". Of course people want a one word answers like it's MS or RA , and I have to say it doesn't have a name, just widespread joint laxity.

I haven't been around a while, had a major life event: I'm adopted, got my actual birth cert and found my half siblings (birth mom deceased). It's been a whirlwind month!
Hi Spine

I have been wondering where you have been,and read the above.

You are in my Prayers

Your Friend,
Ferd144

 
Old 03-27-2012, 03:15 PM   #34
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

I was born in Illinois. In 2009 Illinois announced adoptees born before 1946 could request his/her original birth certificate effective 1/1/10. Those born after 1947 (and at least 18 yr old) could request as of 11/15/11. I sent my request (specific form, $15, copy of ID) 11/15/11, from AZ, and received mine 2/14. Searched the next day and immediately found she was died in 08 (obituary and gravestone pic). I did locate my two half siblings (with b-mom's first husband who left them when her kids were 4 and 3). My sister Catherine and I talked at least weekly and she's coming to visit in May.

I was lucky that I read the Chicago Tribune on line frequently (you can take the girl out of Chicago, but can't take Chicago out of the girl). My brother (not adopted) also saw it and alerted me as did a bunch of friends. Interestingly my brother said in his annual property tax bill last month there was a flier printed on color paper, to alert recipients of the ability to get original birth certificates.

I knew ahead of time it would not have the name of my b-dad as she hadn't told him she was pregnant. I did DNA through 23andme, before I got the birth cert, but being female they can't extract any male factors. I now know materially from what my half sis has told me that I'm at high risk for heart disease (explains my unexplainable high cholesterol). My half siblings don't have any real orthopedic problems (my half brother has lumbar disc problems but was a welder and had an on the job injury, so was he predisposed? We don't know). My b-mom had something diagnosed as polymalgia rheumatica, so I have to talk to my orthopedic spine doc and pain doc. Not clear if it can be related at all. No one of her generation left, all died in their 60's of heart disease.

I'm off to eat some celery and tomatoes, my new guilty snack. LOL.

Call the state in which you were born and ask if there are any laws, or pending laws, regarding the release of original birth certificates. From what I hear when people heard about IL, they contacted other states they were born in, so if you reach the dept of vital records you may be able to say " a friend born and adopted in IL and IL has a law allowing release of original birth cert, is that being done in (state) or is any law pending?" Even if you don't live in the state anymore you may be able to ask how you can support such pending legislation if there is any.
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Old 03-27-2012, 09:49 PM   #35
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

That is an amazing story I am so happy for you. Thank you for the information. I am going to follow up tomorrow to see what I can find out. I would love to hear your story. My sister also adopted was able to find her b_mom after several decades and major expense. I am not that pasionate about it but curious for medical reasons.

Thank for sharing all you did I know as an adoptive parent and child it can be a very personal subject.
Again congrats on your happy situation with ssdi and family matters you really deserve it.
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Old 03-28-2012, 05:11 AM   #36
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

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Originally Posted by dismama View Post
I'm lucky because I just tell everyone I am a stay at home mom.
That is a good one. Mind if I steal that ? I get so tired of explain or justifying myself. Domestic goddess is good too. But 'extended' family members are the worse they ask alot of questions.
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Old 03-28-2012, 05:42 AM   #37
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

It is a bit easier as a woman, as bad as that sounds, some people think I chose to not work and am just supported by my husband's income. But I bet if he were home due to being unable to work, people would look at it differently. But it has to be easier for couples to explain since the working spouse may he seen as the source of income. It's harder when someone is single and younger than later 50's (when you can claim early retirement as the reason)
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:03 AM   #38
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by sandiemas View Post
That is a good one. Mind if I steal that ? I get so tired of explain or justifying myself. Domestic goddess is good too. But 'extended' family members are the worse they ask alot of questions.
LOL @ stay at home mom = Domestic goddess...

I have also seen women refer to themselves as Domestic engineers

 
Old 03-29-2012, 10:09 AM   #39
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

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Originally Posted by SpineAZ View Post
It is a bit easier as a woman, as bad as that sounds, some people think I chose to not work and am just supported by my husband's income. But I bet if he were home due to being unable to work, people would look at it differently. But it has to be easier for couples to explain since the working spouse may he seen as the source of income. It's harder when someone is single and younger than later 50's (when you can claim early retirement as the reason)
Yeah, true Spine. It is a little akward for me being a guy and only 50 years old.

I never thought really I would be in the position I am now in but no one does I suppose. Hope your day has been going good!

 
Old 03-29-2012, 10:38 AM   #40
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

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Yeah, true Spine. It is a little akward for me being a guy and only 50 years old.

I never thought really I would be in the position I am now in but no one does I suppose. Hope your day has been going good!
Yep being a man under the age of 55 and being isabled is a rough pill to swallow especially if you are married and have kids, because the man is suppose to be the bread winner and the one everyone leans on. In my case I was lucky to have worked over 30 years before I became disabled so I don't have to answer to anyone why I don't work anymore.

 
Old 03-29-2012, 01:03 PM   #41
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

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How do you respond to such an awkward inquiry? (It can be hard for those of us who don't know how understanding the asker will be, particularly if we suffer from a mental condition or an invisible physical disability)
i just needed to get back to this question because currently I am in the process of looking for a new place to live. And this is certainly coming up at every single place we look at. I just simply state me and my son are disabled, then they really want to know what income we have , which seems a lot easier to answer then anything about our disabilites. I can talk about what disabilites my son has and that is the primary reason why we need to move so he will be closer to the program he is in and then be trained for job services at 22. Living in such a tiny, rural town has nothing to offer to special needs young adults , so it is a must that we need to move. Hopefully by JUne before it starts getting way too hot here. The biggest challenge is to let them know about our service dogs. When their is a no pet policy. Service dogs are allowed because they are not considered pets , but i still feel like I have to hold my breath on that one. They are very small dogs , but evenso you never know how a manager will react. oh and by the way moving sucks , and it is a pain trying to go to all these homes or duplexes , and just be let down . I have to spend a little more now on rent just to get the things we need, but I think it will be worth it in the long run. Fingers crossed.

 
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:37 PM   #42
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

Good luck with the move Mscat. I am sure everything will be fine after the move is complete and enough time elapses to allow you to settle in. I am a creature of habit and I hate change. The reason I purchased my last car was out of pure necessity and not because I just wanted a new car.

 
Old 03-29-2012, 03:31 PM   #43
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

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Good luck with the move Mscat. I am sure everything will be fine after the move is complete and enough time elapses to allow you to settle in. I am a creature of habit and I hate change. The reason I purchased my last car was out of pure necessity and not because I just wanted a new car.
I am tired of moving I have moved 3 times in the last 3 years first move was to a second floor apt. That was a hell of a move no elevator second move was from the apt to a townhouse in January in Joliet IL. Last move to Florida that one was expensive over $6,000 hell it cost over $500 just to transfer our car and get a Florida plate and driver license. So this is it for a while I'm to old for this.

 
Old 03-29-2012, 04:24 PM   #44
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

LOL, I hear ya Vann.

 
Old 04-14-2012, 03:29 PM   #45
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Re: What do you say when people ask "What do you do?"

I don't know what to say either. I am single and staying with my parents, I had my own place, my own life, I did not ask for all these problems. I wish I could go out and meet people. I am not saying I am so gorgeous, but I will say I am pretty and I do look OK at times. However, I am very pale and I now let my grey roots come in (Runs in the family have had grey since I am 19) and in too much pain to wear makeup. But lately my friend told me I should continue to color my hair like I used to and wear makeup more so I can feel more confident.

I sit home all the time. People tell me your life is passing you by, you don't go out, it is not normal. My sister said I was faking it so I don't have to work. It has been really rough. My cousin is a PT and she recently suggested something for me to do, I wanted to take my cane and get it through the phone to hit her. Clearly, she has completely ignored the MRI reports I told her about, or that I can't walk far and if I do, I start limping. Heck, she saw me a few months ago and I was limping bad!!!

Before this I was enjoying life, I truly was. Now, I feel like I am constantly on the defense. Today I went to see a friend, and I am getting drilled, you need to take better care of yourself, why can't you live alone, what restricts you? Seriously, I left in tears. People are so mean.

Any suggestions would be a big help. I am tired of my "attitude problem"

 
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