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The emotions of living on disability?


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Old 04-18-2013, 12:41 PM   #1
cspineguy
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The emotions of living on disability?

Hi all,
On on the verge of apply for disability. We actually have an appointment to talk to the doctor in a couple of weeks.
I just don't think I can do it anymore. I am in pain from the minute I get into work until I leave and suffer throughout the day.
So my question is how do you deal with it? I want to work. I feel awful about not being able to help provide for my family, but know in my heart that I just don't think i can keep doing this. There are days I just want to cry at my desk and as much as I want to be that superstar who puts in 110%, I am not able to do it. I can barley do what I need to do keep my job, which is getting more and more difficult. And when we are at meetings and they talk about new projects and more things coming up, I cringe knowing i won't be able to do it.
For those who are on disability how do you deal with all this and not feel like you are letting your loved ones down? I know I have to make my peace with this and do what is best for me and I have great support from my wife, but would love to get some advice from others.
thanks

 
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Old 04-26-2013, 05:15 AM   #2
Waiting2011
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Re: The emotions of living on disability?

Are you currently working? If you intend to file for ssdi, I suggest .... before applying, research all the info available to you. Most applications take 3 - 5 months to process and only 1/3 (est) are approved at the initial application stage. The application and reports, questionnaires you will be completing are most crucial for approval. Along with your medical history and supportive doctors. What is your age? That is also a major factor. Be prepared to do a lot of the initial leg work yourself. I applied online and was approved early on. It is not an easy process. I believe the SSA guideline states if you are currently working and earn a certain amt, you are not considered disabled. Go to their website and verify that. Please don't just jump into applying without knowing how to best help your case. As far as the toll disability takes, you are already living it.As far as letting down your loved ones... don't discuss it with anyone except on a need to know basis. That way you won't deal with the external blubber. Half the people will hate you no matter what you do or how you live, don't live for that half. Best of luck to you and your family!

 
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:24 AM   #3
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Re: The emotions of living on disability?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Waiting2011 View Post
Are you currently working? If you intend to file for ssdi, I suggest .... before applying, research all the info available to you. Most applications take 3 - 5 months to process and only 1/3 (est) are approved at the initial application stage. The application and reports, questionnaires you will be completing are most crucial for approval. Along with your medical history and supportive doctors. What is your age? That is also a major factor. Be prepared to do a lot of the initial leg work yourself. I applied online and was approved early on. It is not an easy process. I believe the SSA guideline states if you are currently working and earn a certain amt, you are not considered disabled. Go to their website and verify that. Please don't just jump into applying without knowing how to best help your case. As far as the toll disability takes, you are already living it.As far as letting down your loved ones... don't discuss it with anyone except on a need to know basis. That way you won't deal with the external blubber. Half the people will hate you no matter what you do or how you live, don't live for that half. Best of luck to you and your family!
Thanks for your reply and support. I am still currently working, but barely. It just takes so much out of me and some days the pain is so much I could just sit and cry at my desk. The other problem is my company is shall we say less than satisfied with my situation. They have me on performance improvement and I am constantly under scrutiny. I am on intermittent FMLA, which I think is the only reason I still have a job. The really sad thing is I am a 21 year employee!
We have talked to a lawyer and he feels we have a good case for disability and has given some good advice. Today we are going to the doctors to get their opinion and see what they think we should do and what kind of support we would get form them, as without that we really can't go forward.
I am turning 46 this month, which is hard, as I don't want to go out on disability, but I think I may need to for my health and well being. Hopefully in the near future things will improve and I'll be in a better place, I keep trying to hold on to that.
I get what you are saying about those who won't support me. And unfortunately I have already found that with just dealing with surgery and the chronic pain that has followed. People who I thought were friends, who I was always there for in the past, have totally ignored me, and some family haven't been as supportive as they could be. Again, even those who I have always been there for, don't seem to have time for me. Not to call, visit or offer any help with chores I cannot do. I guess when you go thru something like this you really find out who you can really count on in life and I have. Thank goodness for my wife, who without, I could never get thru this!


Thanks again for your support!

 
Old 05-05-2013, 05:01 AM   #4
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Re: The emotions of living on disability?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Waiting2011 View Post
Are you currently working? If you intend to file for ssdi, I suggest .... before applying, research all the info available to you. Most applications take 3 - 5 months to process and only 1/3 (est) are approved at the initial application stage. The application and reports, questionnaires you will be completing are most crucial for approval. Along with your medical history and supportive doctors. What is your age? That is also a major factor. Be prepared to do a lot of the initial leg work yourself. I applied online and was approved early on. It is not an easy process. I believe the SSA guideline states if you are currently working and earn a certain amt, you are not considered disabled. Go to their website and verify that. Please don't just jump into applying without knowing how to best help your case. As far as the toll disability takes, you are already living it.As far as letting down your loved ones... don't discuss it with anyone except on a need to know basis. That way you won't deal with the external blubber. Half the people will hate you no matter what you do or how you live, don't live for that half. Best of luck to you and your family!
Hi Waiting2011,
I am still working, but probably not for much longer. I met with my doctors on Thursday and they have given their full support to me. He was very kind and told me it is probably time, I have really worked hard and tried all kinds of therapies, but still have had minimal results. He said that I should not blame myself for this, as it is not my fault, life has just dealt me a bad hand and I have to do what is best for my overall well being. He will help with all the paperwork and help me and my wife in the flow we need to begin the process. They also are not giving up on helping me medically, as we are still working on different medications and treatments and was told this is not the end and in time hopefully things will improve and I can get back to working, even if it is part time. So overall a very good appointment.
So with talking with the doctor and prior my wife has talked to a lawyer and both feel I have a good case. We know it is a long road and requires a lot of leg work, but I think with the help of the doctors, lawyer and of course my wife I'll get there and be able to put myself in a better situation for my health and my hope is this is just a detour in life's journey and who knows may lead to something even better down the road.
I also understand what you mean about need to know with family and friends. Just with the surgery and problems I have had since, I have seen "friends" disappear and "family" not so supportive. It can be hurtful, as I can remember how much I have been there for some of these people in the past. Helping them when they needed it, being supportive during tough times, and now when i need it, I'm left out in the cold. You do find out who are your real friends and who you can count on in life. Thank goodness for my wife, as I could never get thru this without her love and support.

Thanks again for you support and advice, it is so much appreciated.

 
Old 05-09-2013, 12:32 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Waiting2011 View Post
Are you currently working? If you intend to file for ssdi, I suggest .... before applying, research all the info available to you. Most applications take 3 - 5 months to process and only 1/3 (est) are approved at the initial application stage. The application and reports, questionnaires you will be completing are most crucial for approval. Along with your medical history and supportive doctors. What is your age? That is also a major factor. Be prepared to do a lot of the initial leg work yourself. I applied online and was approved early on. It is not an easy process. I believe the SSA guideline states if you are currently working and earn a certain amt, you are not considered disabled. Go to their website and verify that. Please don't just jump into applying without knowing how to best help your case. As far as the toll disability takes, you are already living it.As far as letting down your loved ones... don't discuss it with anyone except on a need to know basis. That way you won't deal with the external blubber. Half the people will hate you no matter what you do or how you live, don't live for that half. Best of luck to you and your family!
Hi
I have been trying to reply to you but for some reason my posts won't update hopefully this one goes through.
So my progress right now is we have started the process.
We had a meeting with my doctor last week and he's giving us his backing and advised us what steps to follow. Per Dr.'s orders I am on temporary disability and checking with my company I have eight weeks of FMLA left, and although I can't say anything to anyone connected to my work this probably will lead to full disability.

We have talked with a lawyer and he is very confident in my case as well as the doctor who feels that I have a very good case.

So since Wednesday I have been out of work. You know the funny thing that I was thinking today is how did I ever do this for year?
Even without the added stress of sitting in front of a computer for eight hours I am an in awful pain. Everything I do causes pain and I don't know how I did this for as long as I did.

I know I have a very long road ahead and very difficult times but it is something I have to do for my health, thank goodness I have such a supportive wife, for I could not do this without her.

As far as friends and family I understand what you're talking about. I have already seen friends disappear and been less then impressed with the support from some of my family. These are people who I was there for when they really needed me in the past.

So I guess like everything else I will keep this close to the chest and not tell too many people and not worry what they think of me on my situation.

Thanks again for all your support

 
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