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  • Emotional, Mental Abuse & Addiction

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    Old 04-17-2016, 06:41 PM   #1
    atxgirl2016
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    Emotional, Mental Abuse & Addiction

    I have no idea where to start. My husband and I have been together since 2008. We met in our high school years. The last 8 years have been terrible. Things were great at first, I guess, and have been able to push things aside and smile when I needed to. Our relationship at the beginning was plagued with drugs. I was in pain (abandonded by parent) and did things I wouldn't have done. My husband introduced me to them, and a year later, I wanted to move back to my hometown to get away from everything. We did that, and things were good for a while. Eventually little things would make him mad, the dog peeing in the floor, etc. He would yell and put holes in the wall. After that, it evolved into emotional abuse, calling me a b****, and things like that. And even after that, it turned into mental abuse. Then came more drugs, more lying, and more pain. He bought everything he wanted, and we barely had money to pay the bills (mind you, I worked and made as much as him - we did have good jobs, considering the situation.) When we were in the car, he would drive crazy if he was upset. I remember being yelled at in the car, asking what I did wrong, crying hysterically. Not to mention a pill habit.

    Fast forward to now. We have two kids, under the age of 3. I told him that if he ever put a hole in the wall again, I would leave with the kids. So, that has not happened again. BUT, he continued to lie, spend our money, and belittle me. He doesn't have any interest in me - he is very narcissistic and manipulative. I've told him for the last year that I wasn't happy, looking at apartments for me and the kids, thinking about divorce, etc, etc. So he had enough time to change. Finally, this last Saturday. I told him I wanted a divorce. He didn't, so I said unless marriage counseling could fix it, I've made up my mind. We are staying together in the same house, and going to counseling this weekend. He is a great father, but everything else is terrible.

    Here's my problem. For years, and years, and years, I cried myself to sleep and thought I was worthless. I wasn't happy, but never told anyone because I was ashamed and didn't want people to think badly of him (crazy, huh?). So, now that I've told him, everyone in my family and his family is trying to convince me to stay, even after telling them some of the things. I'm lost, and 95% sure I want to leave. BUT - since I told him I wanted a divorce, he has been kind, sweet and hasn't done anything he normally would have. He swears he;s changed, and says he'll wait 10 years for me to come back around. I actually do believe him. My problem is there is NO love left for him. Not even the slightest bit. I don't think counseling will help. Do I stick around and hope for the best, since he is showing promise? Or move on?

     
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