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  • No Intimacy and Beatings

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    Old 09-22-2017, 02:15 PM   #1
    Bstat's Avatar
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    Bstat HB User
    No Intimacy and Beatings

    I am a 26 year old female that has been married to my husband for less than two years... there has been three separate occasions where he got so drunk he ended up punching me in the face and choking me... I feel so unwanted, we don't have sex at all... we have sex maybe 10 times a year. He blames it on his low testosterone all the time, but he doesn't do anything to help it... he sees a doctor but he is still overweight and continues to eat crap. He also gives me a hard time all the time, he never gives me compliments or says nice things. I feel like I have so much to live for... why settle for this? We don't have any kids either.

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    Old 09-28-2017, 09:09 AM   #2
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    Re: No Intimacy and Beatings

    Hello, I have a hard time giving advice because I'm afraid that what I say may harm someone...even with best please just consider this my opinion. The fact that he has been violent with you seems like a big red flag that the relationship is not healthy for you. I personally have a strong policy of "you emotionally or physically abuse me and I'm done with you...period." I KNOW you don't deserve what he's doing to you. I have been married for 14 years and my husband also drinks. He doesn't get violent, but it still bothers me a lot. I think you're right that you shouldn't settle for this. You are young and nothing is binding you to this relationship (no children), so leaving him and starting over might be your best option. However, you need to have a plan. Are you financially able to care for yourself without him? Can you afford to get an apartment...or maybe stay with a friend or relative? Physical abuse is NEVER okay and is not something anyone should tolerate. You have a LOT of life ahead of you and it can be so much better. I have been through a divorce and it's very hard, but once I left and had my own place I felt so free and happy. I knew that I had made the right decision because I felt it in my gut and my heart. BUT, I had a lot of resources to work with and that made it easier. One thing I did immediately after I left was set up my own bank account and transfer half of our savings to it (without his knowledge). He was mad when he found out, but I felt I needed to do it for my own security. Think of YOURSELF and how to make a better life for yourself. You DO NOT deserve to be abused. Please let me know how you're doing...

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    Old 09-28-2017, 10:29 AM   #3
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    Re: No Intimacy and Beatings

    Have you asked yourself why you are staying? Your post is pretty clear DO have allot to live for and living like this - cant be easy and isnt really living.

    You are so young. Unfortunately, sometimes marriage #1 doesnt work out- that doesnt mean there isnt someone out there waiting to make you happy. You are putting yourself in a dangerous situation right now. Why are you staying ?
    RRMS- dx 05

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