It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Divorce & Separation Message Board

  • My Wife Feels Numb!

  • Post New Thread   Reply Reply
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 11-18-2017, 02:17 AM   #1
    breathOfLife
    Newbie
    (female)
     
    breathOfLife's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2017
    Posts: 2
    breathOfLife HB User
    Exclamation My Wife Feels Numb!

    Hey, firstly Iím sorry this post will be a long one and Iím sorry if I posted it in the wrong board but my wife feels numb!

    Weíve been married 2 months, and been together a good few years, in the beginning weíve known that weíre the ones for each other, we click. We donít have any kids nor plan to for a while, but we do own rats together which sheís keeping with me.

    Anyway On Saturday the 11th she went out partying with this new friend, she got drunk, which is normal for her she used to do all that before we met.
    She came in and went straight to sleep, on the Sunday she texted me saying that are we truly happy etc, weíve changed thereís nothing between us anymore and that she feels numb, we had a huge talk, which ended up with her choice to move out.
    She also admitted she felt torn, between our life and this new party life.

    I suffer with anxiety and attachment disorders the same as her, so I went into a complete meltdown, and our relationship with each other hit rock bottom, she didnít feel happy with me however when this new friend of hers texted etc her mood changed, as If she was happy in love etc, she assured me this wasnít the case? And that everyone had it wrong.

    Come Wednesday after a few hours of talking, things almost went back to normal, she had planned to go partying again with her friend, but the time between the talk and her going out, we was laughing throwing crumpets at each other and hugging etc.

    Cut to a few hours later, I get a text saying that my wife and her friend had an argument and that my wife was honest with her?, my wife said she needed cuddles, and wanted to chill in bed with snacks and Tv (like weíve always done). When she gets in however, in her drunken state she kisses me, with a lot of passion and said she was sorry, going as far as trying to get into my pants, I didnít know what to believe as up until then she didnít want anything to do with me, she wanted a break and divorce to start us over, and that she felt like she was my mother not my lover, which I guess I canít blame her Iíve been going through some stuff lately so my will to do anything plummeted, as a result I needed some assistantce with things.

    Then this happened, the morning after we had my wifeís social worker round (sheís in care still) after a long talk of whatís going to happen, and her breaking down in tears, she hugged me and told me she was sorry, a quite a few times, it was then she got a text from her friend saying that she couldnít be friends anymore it was no secret she had a crush on her, and was drunkenly flirting etc.

    But at the same time was trying to dictate her life, now admittedly Iím glad sheís gone, as I feel she played a small part in this seeing as my wife piped up at a flat near the local pub where her friend works...I do however feel this was all due to her mental state and felt itís what she needed, now she feels she needs to move out to sort her head out rather then want to.

    After that weíve rekindled slightly sheís told me she loves me,I did ask if she still felt completely torn to which she admitted a little but being with me makes her feel better, and we kiss cuddle etc from time to time throughout but she still feels like moving out is best, weíre trying to end on a good note which we are, she still hasnít moved out yet though, also she was saying maybe after a few months she could move back in maybe if it was ok with me.

    I said we would have to see as the last few days really hurt, it would take time to set it back to normal again, but she was planning that I stay with her every now and then

    Weíve planned to continue to talk and see each other once a week too maybe more in time, it gives us time away to sort stuff out, and may even spark back a few things when we do meet.

    Me being me, Iím trying not to dote on her too much or overwhelm her by saying I love you all the time like we both used to, I want to make her feel wanted and care for her yes but not enslave myself to her, I feel it wouldnít help, she has stopped taking her meds completely which is worrying as theyíre for anxiety and depression, which also tends to smooth out her PTSD.

    I know this isnít going to be a quick fix as I understand sheís broken, doesnít know how or what to feel , but I really donít want to lose her, is there any advice on how to help her and us further?

    Last edited by Administrator; 11-18-2017 at 05:57 AM.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 11-18-2017, 11:06 AM   #2
    quincy
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    quincy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2003
    Location: Winnipeg, Canada
    Posts: 5,836
    quincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB User
    Re: My Wife Feels Numb!

    You both need therapy.....separately and together.
    q
    __________________
    It's all a matter of perspective!
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 11-18-2017, 12:11 PM   #3
    breathOfLife
    Newbie
    (female)
     
    breathOfLife's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2017
    Posts: 2
    breathOfLife HB User
    Re: My Wife Feels Numb!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by quincy View Post
    You both need therapy.....separately and together.
    q

    I donít know if she will do it, sheís extremelt stubborn, her PA said she was going to look for couple counciling, but at the moment she doesnít want to do anything, and even Iím bricking it, Iíve not known a life without my disorders.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 11-19-2017, 10:46 AM   #4
    quincy
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    quincy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2003
    Location: Winnipeg, Canada
    Posts: 5,836
    quincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB Userquincy HB User
    Re: My Wife Feels Numb!

    We react to our life situations and troubles in varying ways.... if she won't do counselling, I suggest you seek out a counsellor for yourself. Any amount of insight to our own behaviour within a dysfunctional relationship is invaluable to perspective and making decisions.

    What disorders do you have, and are you dependent on your wife because of them?

    Your life is your call, for yourself to improve and grow and be functioning with a better emotional capacity.

    You mention setting it back to normal....don't know if that means within comfort zone yet still dysfunctional?

    q
    __________________
    It's all a matter of perspective!
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Last edited by quincy; 11-19-2017 at 10:48 AM.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Reply Reply

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Desperate Husband needs advice LoveMyWife Relationship Health 3 11-01-2015 12:04 PM
    Wife vs. My Parents middledan Relationship Health 4 05-27-2013 04:40 AM
    lost my wife to adderall losttheoneilove Family & Friends of Addicts and Alcoholics 12 05-24-2012 06:55 AM
    my wife and her mother and their relationship geofflangley Relationship Health 2 01-04-2012 05:03 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:51 PM.





    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!