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Divorced=Damaged Goods?

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Old 11-04-2003, 07:07 PM   #1
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Jennak HB User
Divorced=Damaged Goods?

It was mentioned in another thread that people tend to treat divorcees as damaged goods. I was just wondering, is this a common experience? I was married once and am now divorced and I don't think that that has happened to me--that I know of. One exception that never really bothered me: The ex that I once and awhile refer to (from 12 years back) once told me that he could never "date" me again because I was divorced. But he always had strange rules applying to various things. I told him that was just as well, since I could'nt POSSIBLY date a man with 3 children from two different women. What a hypocrite!!! What have your experiences been like as divorcees?


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Old 11-04-2003, 08:30 PM   #2
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DonutsNCoffee HB User
I'm not a divorcee but I think the stigma of divorce isn't that bad anymore. 50% of all marriages fail. That means if you look at the dating pool, a lot of those people are divorced and if you're trying to meet someone, chances are you'll realize it won't help your odds if you eliminate such a large percentage of people from consideration. And while there are hypocrites, I think most divorced people don't rule out other divorcees. If anything, they can connect a little easier cause they each know how hard it is being married and how messy and painful a divorce can be. I can't speak for all people who've never been married, but I know I wouldn't look at someone who's been divorced as damaged goods. That would be a real shame to meet the right person for you and pass on them because of something that wasn't entirely their fault.

Old 11-05-2003, 11:27 AM   #3
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HoosierBj HB User
A reminder that divorce is still not accepted in at least one major religious denomination except for limited reasons which then allow an "annullment". If you are divorced and meet someone who is practicing this particular type of Christianity it would probably make some sort of difference...

Old 11-05-2003, 11:48 AM   #4
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SophiaM HB User
Hi Jenna. Of course you're not "damaged goods"! First of all, even if one person wants to work out problems in a marriage and puts his/her entire heart into it, it still won't do any good if the spouse is set on leaving. What about all these divorced people who have been lied to, cheated on, and abandoned by their spouses? Why should they be considered "damaged goods", it wasn't their fault. While I don't condone divorce and hope it will never happen to me, the fact is that divorce is a reality in today's society. 50% of all marriages fail. Yes, I would not mind dating a divorced man (depending on the reason of the divorce also) and in fact, I did date one, but he was just a player wanting to enjoy his single status with as many women as possible. Even so, I would still date another divorced man if he was a good person with qualities and values that are important to me.

Old 11-05-2003, 11:48 AM   #5
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cloverberry HB User
I'm divorced and remarried to a divorced Catholic. I never felt like damaged goods and if anyone else thought of me that way it's their problem. Since my present husband was married in a Catholic church he had to get his first marraige anulled so we could be married in a Catholic church.

Old 11-05-2003, 12:30 PM   #6
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KimRick HB User
My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. When we first met, he was going through a divorce, but it wasn't that bad - in the beginnning. By the time the divorce was over, he was a basket case. He's ok with how everything turned out now. I guess it depends on hte people involved and how they handle it.

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