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  • why divorce is morally wrong

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    Old 06-09-2004, 11:18 AM   #46
    eightball61
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GirlHarley
    OK, I'm done. This "baggage" lady is grabbing another Beer and heading outside by the Pool.

    Fred - I summons you - You Can not Get a Divorce.
    You can not have a Mistress.
    You will follow the rules set forth by your wife because She is who you married, made those vows and commitment and to HONOR.
    You are to Honor your Wedding Vows.
    You are not allowd to be happy but you must put on a front for the sake of your daughter or else she will feel Much Pain in her future years.
    You are to put whatever you have left in you for self worth or self esteen in the back of your head, stop thinking selfish and Make your Marriage Work for the sake of Your Daughter, because after all Her happeness is to come before ANYTHING or Everything you have ever been taught.

    Lastly, your right, I have been lying to you - Every 40+year old man and woman has so much crap of baggage going on in their lives - you couldn't possiblity want to get yourself with anyone of this age.

    OK, I'm really done - This Bud's For you, I have to go back and join my beautiful, 35 - 40+ yr old girlfriends, who are...damn, laughing and having a good time by my pool.
    Ciao everyone.
    Too funny Harley..Enjoy our first summer day by the pool but back to cool tom.

     
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    Old 06-09-2004, 11:23 AM   #47
    Salinas1
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Okay, I am committing this to be my last post on this thread and subject. Therefore, I have no opportunity to pull punches as I will have no further chance to explain or dance around.

    Here is the bottom line on our man Fred. Fred, you are a chicken. You are far more afraid of leaving that marriage from your own insecurities that you are for the potential hazard to your daughter. Stay if you wish. Stay knowing it is your skin more in the saving seat than is your daughter’s. I place no judgement on you for whatever you choose as I have no right to do such. However, I do have a right to see a spade as a spade and call it that.

    Good bye to this dilemma, the fundamental core of which is not anything like the surface picture being painted.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 11:31 AM   #48
    maak823
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Great Post, you said it all for me
    I am off!!
    Enjoy the beer by the pool, I think I will be heading that way myself!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GirlHarley
    OK, I'm done. This "baggage" lady is grabbing another Beer and heading outside by the Pool.

    Fred - I summons you - You Can not Get a Divorce.
    You can not have a Mistress.
    You will follow the rules set forth by your wife because She is who you married, made those vows and commitment and to HONOR.
    You are to Honor your Wedding Vows.
    You are not allowd to be happy but you must put on a front for the sake of your daughter or else she will feel Much Pain in her future years.
    You are to put whatever you have left in you for self worth or self esteen in the back of your head, stop thinking selfish and Make your Marriage Work for the sake of Your Daughter, because after all Her happeness is to come before ANYTHING or Everything you have ever been taught.

    Lastly, your right, I have been lying to you - Every 40+year old man and woman has so much crap of baggage going on in their lives - you couldn't possiblity want to get yourself with anyone of this age.

    OK, I'm really done - This Bud's For you, I have to go back and join my beautiful, 35 - 40+ yr old girlfriends, who are...damn, laughing and having a good time by my pool.
    Ciao everyone.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 12:11 PM   #49
    Ninispjc
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    For wife to allow her 23 year old son to stay at home, not work, not go to school, not help around the house, not contribute in any way, is being very deficient as a parent. She is doing much more harm to this young man than she is helping him. Have you ever suggested marriage counseling to her? How would she react? I think it's pretty obvious that what you are doing now is not working for you. But if it's going to change, you will have to be the one to initiate change. It sounds like you just don't want to initiate change, but you feel bad for the way things are, so you are trying to convince yourself that keeping things the way they are is best for your daughter and you wanted someone here to agree with you. I'mnot saying I disagree with you, but I've said my peace in other posts. I still say that being strong and building the life you really want and creating true happiness to share with your child is the greatest gift you can give your child. One other thing to consider: what lessons and what values do you think your daughter is picking up watching and observing her step-brother live like he does? How about when it comes time for your daughter to go out into the world and go to college and get a job and get out on her own? Why does she have to when big brother didn't have to? How does your wife plan to explain that to her?

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 12:22 PM   #50
    eightball61
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Are you in the fear of leaving because of your stress related issues?

    I noticed that you suffer from TMJ; stress and worrying does make this worse. Stressing over this doesn't help so you need to find the correct closure to this that will be stress free for you. Leaving will be stressful but eventually go away within time rather than a life long stress.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 12:49 PM   #51
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    yes I have TMJ and thank God I haven't had much pain in the last few week (knock on wood).

    I have trained myself to stay calm and not stress out; my TMJ flairs up when I get too stressed, I truly believe that alot of my problems with TMJ are mental/stress related.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 01:04 PM   #52
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Hey Fred,

    I am just curious... if someone could somehow tell you the girl of your dreams exists and even tell you where she was... would you then take a chance and possibly divorce your wife for her?

    Last edited by soulster; 06-09-2004 at 01:04 PM.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 01:12 PM   #53
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by fredrolin
    yes I have TMJ and thank God I haven't had much pain in the last few week (knock on wood).

    I have trained myself to stay calm and not stress out; my TMJ flairs up when I get too stressed, I truly believe that alot of my problems with TMJ are mental/stress related.

    Its good that it has been down but have you been having fleer ups because of the marriage? Be honest & I am just trying to find out and help

    Last edited by eightball61; 06-09-2004 at 01:13 PM.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 01:31 PM   #54
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by soulster
    Hey Fred,

    I am just curious... if someone could somehow tell you the girl of your dreams exists and even tell you where she was... would you then take a chance and possibly divorce your wife for her?

    It would be an incentive.

    But my daughter's happiness and well being will always come before my needs and desires.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 01:37 PM   #55
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by eightball61
    Its good that it has been down but have you been having fleer ups because of the marriage? Be honest & I am just trying to find out and help

    Actually I believe my last major flare up was work related after a big fight with my former boss. On May 1st my company "restructured" our organizational chart and now I have a new supervisor who is totally cool.
    I worked for my former boss 5 years and it was 5 years of hell. I also have the constant fear of getting laid off, my company has gone from 3800 employee in 1996 to a current 1050 employees.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 01:44 PM   #56
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by fredrolin
    Actually I believe my last major flare up was work related after a big fight with my former boss. On May 1st my company "restructured" our organizational chart and now I have a new supervisor who is totally cool.
    I worked for my former boss 5 years and it was 5 years of hell. I also have the constant fear of getting laid off, my company has gone from 3800 employee in 1996 to a current 1050 employees.
    So you not once had a fleer up do to the marriage?

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 01:47 PM   #57
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    I stress about everything....it's hard to pinpoint every cause.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 01:52 PM   #58
    eightball61
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by fredrolin
    I stress about everything....it's hard to pinpoint every cause.

    Have you always been this way or when did it start? When were your diagnosed with this?

    Tell me if I am being to nosey

    Last edited by eightball61; 06-09-2004 at 01:52 PM.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 01:52 PM   #59
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    you want to know the purpose of your daughter......... you may want to think on a bigger scale........maybe when she grows up that purpose will be revealed.........
    maybe not........she could be a doctor and save a couple of lives.......maybe a child who will one day be president.........maybe her children will discover a cure for cancers .......ther"s a purpose for her and everyone in life.................it 's your responsibility to make sure she grows up healthy ..........mentally and physically.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 02:38 PM   #60
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    Re: why divorce is morally wrong

    My mom is a therapist and she told me this story about one of her cleints: This woman's mother had been married for nearly 50 years when her father died. She went to visit and attend the funeral and the womans mother told her that she had been miserable throughout the entire marriage and was ashamed to admit the relief she felt over her husband's passing. When my mom's client got home, she immediately filed for divorce. Apparently she was staying in her marriage because they had a child, but realized another moment with her husband in their unhappy marriage was a moment wasted. Her mother was in her 70's, and spent nearly her entire life unhappy. What a waste. Not saying that applies to you, just found it to be an interesting story.

     
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