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newlywed, closer to divorce?

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Old 06-15-2004, 01:04 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 8
krystal4180 HB User
newlywed, closer to divorce?

Where do I begin? I got married 3 mos. ago. This is my first marriage, first relationship-his second marriage. We argue all the time, Im always sad. He says he can tell we're getting close to end. Im acting like the ex did at the end of their marriage. Our arguements go in circles. I am horrible with communication. He tries to talk to me and I sit with a million thoughts running through my head and not one word comes out. It's not that I am ignoring him, but words never come out the right way. Despite this fact, when I do try to tell him why Im unhappy, he argues my reasoning. I feel like our relationship is very one-sided. I know I made it easy, Im a push over. But, I also feel like he takes advantage of this. My way of coping with the feeling that I am in a 1-sided relationship is to be negative to him, push him away. Married 3 mo's and we don't have an intimate relationship anymore. Maybe once a month. I know this is not right, but I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to.

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Old 06-15-2004, 01:09 PM   #2
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,600
eightball61 HB User
Re: newlywed, closer to divorce?

hmmm.....Only 3 months in. Time to seek the marriage counselor.

Old 06-15-2004, 01:40 PM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,478
blue_eyed_girl HB User
Re: newlywed, closer to divorce?

Take some time to yourself. Write down all your thoughts and problems. Then ask him to read them. This way your mind is clear and your words are translated through your hand rather than trying to battle out of your mouth. Communication is not only verbal; it is written and nonverbal, also. Try to communicate in other ways.

Old 06-16-2004, 07:41 AM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,783
elatedgiraffe HB User
Re: newlywed, closer to divorce?

I definately would advise marriage counseling. Good luck to you.

Old 06-17-2004, 08:20 PM   #5
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 15
blueangel26 HB User
Re: newlywed, closer to divorce?

Defently, go through all your possible opitions before divorce is one of them. I was in your shoes about a month ago. We were married about 2 yrs, also my 1st marriage and relationship. He was the one that pushed me away. Consueling can help but, both of you have to be willing. I tried everything I knew of and took advice from others. But, he wasn't willing. So as much as it hurt I walked away. It comes down to your happiness. I was also a push over. I did already go to consueling myself and one thing she did say that may help you was, "don't change yourself for anyone but yourself." When you're in love you want to do whatever you can for that person but, don't give up on yourself, like I did. Now I'm starting over on my own and I am actually happier this way. Listen to your heart it's always right!

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