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himmylover 01-19-2006 08:46 AM

Pls. Help, or maybe Divorce (NO)!!!!!
:confused: [FONT=Comic Sans MS]I need some serious help, or hubby might be wanting a divorce?[/FONT], I am only 39 Newly 39 and the last couple of years, I have had 0 sex drive, what so ever. I love my husband dearly, and don't like this at all. I am on Effexor XL and Toperal Very low dose for Panic problems.

What cand or should I do? This is NOT Fair to my husband, or myself, I hate it, it is NOT ME, married 14 plus years, I makes me very sad. Please help with advise.


mjewell 01-19-2006 08:57 AM

Re: Pls. Help, or maybe Divorce (NO)!!!!!
Have you told your dr about this? There are some things they can give yo to help with your sex drive. I've also hear Gingko Biloba works, although I haven't tried that yet.

I am on Lexapro and also have no sex drive. My best friend is the same way. She and her hubby made a resolution to have sex every single day during the month of January. At first she had to force herself, but now she looks forward to it and they are closer than ever.

I took her advice and did the same (although our resolution was only 3x per week, every day is a little too ambitious for me). We are on our first week, and I am still forcing myself to do it, but I am finding it enjoyable and less of a hassle. It's true what they say..having sex more makes you want it more. So I would suggest talking to your doctor and set a goal to do it a few times a week...force yourself, and soon you won't have to force yourself anymore.

himmylover 01-19-2006 09:09 AM

Re: Pls. Help, or maybe Divorce (NO)!!!!!
:) Thank you for the info: I just never thought I would see the day I would have to think of it as a hassle, You know what I mean. I am going to my Gyno, on the 6th. I will talk to him. I want us back to being us, and I am sure HE DOES

Thank you................. :)

daisy-duke77 01-19-2006 06:05 PM

Re: Pls. Help, or maybe Divorce (NO)!!!!!
Are you serious that your husband would leave you over this??? It has to be the effexor! My husband was on that, and he had absolutely NO SEX DRIVE!! I have also heard that this drug has that side effect with alot of people. I would definately try something else.............there are sooo many med's out there to help with panic, anxiety, depression etc. Sometimes you have to try several before you find the right one for you.

NikkiNak 01-19-2006 06:43 PM

Re: Pls. Help, or maybe Divorce (NO)!!!!!
I would say when you go to your doctor have them do a whole series of blood tests...there has to be a reason your sex drive is gone. From everything I have understood you are in your prime in 30's & 40's. I have thyroid issues which has created no sex drive and panic. It won't hurt to get alittle blood taken especially when it comes to saving a marriage.

Good luck in finding some answers.

Halls 01-19-2006 06:52 PM

Re: Pls. Help, or maybe Divorce (NO)!!!!!
the idea of forcing yourself is a good idea. I need to take that advice, but I have heard that if you commit yourself to at least 3x per week sex dates no matter what than you will want to do it more.

himmylover 01-20-2006 08:40 AM

Re: Pls. Help, or maybe Divorce (NO)!!!!!
:) No, I don't think he would divorce, but it in NOT good on a marriage. You all are soooooooooooooo awesome, I am so happy :bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing: , I found this board. You all are awesome.

Donna ;)

saphire82 02-22-2006 09:48 PM

Re: Pls. Help, or maybe Divorce (NO)!!!!!
Ive been doing research on herbs for other reasons and have heard that dong quai or however its spelled and herbs like that are supposed to help increase your sex drive

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