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  • Wife decided to divorce me

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    Old 06-06-2006, 10:23 AM   #16
    wackowoman
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    Takemylife,

    when I saw your thread my heart did a jump and I thought 'oh nooo'. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are going thru, especially when your hopes were up and then this...

    It would be so easy for this to knock you so off your feet it would give the Lyme a second chance. Oh, try not to do this. Life is unfair, and that is what it is. Don't think you can easily walk away from this, it will be so much grief. I like what you said about seeing a councelor, talking to someone sounds like it might be helpful in seeing your way thru this.

    Can't remember if you are a believer, so forgive me if you are not, but it was after the deciples thought the world had come to an end and couldn't get any darker, that the greatest miracle on earth happened.

    Remember, your children need their daddy, they are still so young.

    I am truly so sorry.....

    keep us posted.

    Jeanne

     
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    Old 06-06-2006, 02:00 PM   #17
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    Take my Life i am so deeply sorry for you and this shock out of the blue, you have been through thsi terrible disease to have your world broken and i can see why you would be feeling teh way you are and why you are reaching out to teh doctors, but PLease be ware.....

    I am highly allergic to any type of perscription brain meds, I had heart failure on Lithium and it is just being proven now that They either inhighten teh Immune System or lower it, so please tread carefull.

    After years of heavy depression and anxiety that shot up with teh doxy, i am having a managable time with St Johns Wort, something on teh counter in teh chemist and afetr all this time..

    Also with depression treatment , you will usually go down before you go up, and you will sleep for long times, but if these dont stop then you have to take notice. I slept for 3 months as i trusted my docs, while i was on Mirtazapine, and Lyme was running riot and they put all side eefects down to stress.
    Teh last thing you want now is a comprimised immune system, i will pull teh detaisl and post them in a post here.

    Keep an eye on your self and if you think tehy are not good, then bin them, now in hind sight i would give a tablet no longer than 3 weeks to show some improvement.

    i wnat to give you a big bear hug, i cant imagine how you must feel honey
    sorry i came in to teh thread so late.

    xxxxxxxxx Jules xxxxx

    Last edited by battling on; 06-06-2006 at 02:03 PM.

     
    Old 06-06-2006, 02:08 PM   #18
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    Hope this helps, it was off an open forum so copy write should be fine.

    The wider health implication is that commonly used SSRI antidepressants, which target the uptake of serotonin into neurons, may also impact the uptake in immune cells, that while it may be possible that SSRI drugs may restore a healthy immune function in people who are depressed and prone to infections, it is possible that they might also bolster immunity to the point that they trigger autoimmune disease.At this point we just don't know how these drugs might affect immunity, so we really need to clarify the normal role of serotonin in immune cell functioning.The surprising finding that serotonin is rapidly passed between immune cells in a manner similar to its transmission between brain neurons was revealed in mid-October, the discovery was highlighted for the general scientific audience and now the there is work to produce an animal model that may help describe the precise nature of this interaction

    sorry its not split up but me brains not great to do it, i suggest clip and paste to word and double space.
    Jules x

    Last edited by battling on; 06-06-2006 at 02:11 PM.

     
    Old 06-06-2006, 08:02 PM   #19
    TINUVIEL
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    TML,

    I am so sorry, the pain of what you are dealing with must be unimaginable. Divorces or break-up of long term relationships can be one of the most emotionally taxing experiences.

    How hard especially, if you had been clinging to the hope that there was a chance that just maybe it would be ok, only to find out that she still wanted a divorce. You are surely in our prayers.

    I can't help much with medications for this, I have always flatly refused to touch any of them, and I am really glad I stuck to my guns on this. I did have good results with L-Tryptophan ( you can't get it anymore except through a compounding pharmacist) and with 5-HTP which is similar and available at a health food store. Also supplementing with Tyrosine (amino acid) was helpful. This disease can be very isolating and takes its toll on self-esteem. Do you have a pastor or rabbi you can talk to? I have found this can be very helpful. And of course we're here, 24/7.

    I know it seems impossible to imagine at a time like this, but eventually you really will be ok. Even if it takes a long time, you will be ok.

     
    Old 06-06-2006, 11:26 PM   #20
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    I would like to add my fiance broke up with me when four family members and friends died all within six months. Lost a retail store and lots of money. She packed her bags and ran.

    I was down and out. She called me loser when I asked her why she was ending our 6 years.

    It is now 11 years since that day, and I thank her for saying goodbye to me. I found a great business, and a super wife. Prettier, smarter, and such a better match for me.

    I was so depressed the only thing I could think of is its got to be better there, then here.

    I couldn't see then, that the best thing was happening, only when I look back I can see this now.

    I hope this happens for you, you meet a better person for you, and your happier.

    Lots of healing to you.

     
    Old 06-07-2006, 09:56 AM   #21
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    TML let us knwo your ok when you can, hugs Jules xx pop over my way i will give you bear hug.

     
    Old 06-07-2006, 11:50 AM   #22
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    Hi TML:

    Just checking in on you, too. You have given such great advice to all of us here about what has helped you to get better, in fact I have started the Oleda Veggie greens plus and I noticed a big change in my energy level.

    We are all here for you now. I can tell, even across cyber-space that you are a wonderful, thoughtful person. You will come out of this on the other side of it all stronger, healthier happier. Please hang in there...

     
    Old 06-07-2006, 07:56 PM   #23
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    Dear TML.

    Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

    I pray that you have some peace of mind soon. I've been where you're at. I remember months of playing "what if ...". Its not a good thing.

    Prayers for guidance never go unanswered.

    Hang in there.

     
    Old 06-07-2006, 08:58 PM   #24
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    hi tml, i am thinking about you..sending you prayers and hoping you are doing fine, keep us posted..
    big hug!

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 06:32 AM   #25
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    Just keep coming here for support, and where ever else you can find it, OK?? This happened to me when I was a frequent poster on this board, and if it wasn't for a couple people on here....(sleeper geri, bdfm, you know who you are!!!!) I think I would have died!

    I too, had suffered with this disease, thru my son's battle with it, and it put a very big strain on my marriage. I was the one dealing, staying up all night with him, quitting my job to be with him, dealing with the worst of the wrost--and he was the one running away. Ultimately, he left. His son was vomiting and in a major panic attack, hearing strange things the day he left. What a pig!! I spent the rest of the day, trying to peel my son off the ceiling, clean up his vomit, and sobbing my brains out while doing it.

    I am very happy now, my kids are WAY happier, and life is good again. I wouldn't have listened to any of this in the begining, adn just wanted to die--and if not for my kids, probably would have. hang in there....b/c what I learned is thru great pain and misery comes something so wonderful on the other side. Your cure, your happiness???? I'm thinking YES!!! MWAH!!!!

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 03:45 PM   #26
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    TML was with you again today... not gonna let you go ...

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 04:10 PM   #27
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    I'm here too! You made it through another day!

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 06:59 PM   #28
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    Ditto!

    We're here for you and we're not going anywhere, so get used to us!


     
    Old 06-08-2006, 07:19 PM   #29
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    I don't know what to say. I'd like to thank every single one of you all. I think I was able to pull a little something from every one of your posts.

    I've recognized this period in my life as a "break down." I have been running on empty for three years attempting to conceal the disease while working full time and being a dad. I rarely called out sick. I'm currently on short term disability and have the support of my boss and my director. I really need to take this time to get myself together.

    In the last two days, I feel I'm coming to terms with the loss of my wife. Typically, I would be chatting with her right now knowing that itís not me that she really wants to chat with, just because I love her so much. But now I'm letting go. Right now I really don't feel like talking to her. I'm looking at her differently. I'm not angry. I just am starting to feel nothing towards her. I feel she really has made a huge mistake and she will come to find this in the years to come. My most frustrating and painful part of letting go was that she didn't give me a chance. She didnít give me the chance to show her what I was like when I was not a very sick man. It's a shame for the family, my children and for both her and me.

    I have moments where I actually feel excited to meet someone new that I'm attracted to. I feel I really have become someone who is deserving of someone wonderful.

    I still fear many things and am very sad about others. The loss of my house I have worked so hard for, not having my children under my roof each night. Not having my whirlpool tub which has saved my life. The yard, my hammock where I play with my kids. It hurts very much to take that step backwards and move into an empty apartment to possibly hear people above or below me again.

    I have moments when I look forward to being able to look great again and making special new friends. But in the next breath I feel and evil presence, dark and low and cold, a pang that makes me feel like I am dying. I feel that a lot. Most of the day today in fact.

    I have accepted the medication will take a while to begin working and that I will have these lows. Right now my body is just barely making enough energy for me to take this medication and still be able to do every day chores. It bumps up my heart rate and I have to force myself to not miss a meal or I pay dearly for it with a very low feeling mentally and physically. The medication is making me herx. I imagine it is making my body function in a way that it should have been functioning all along, and this in turn is leaving the last of the bacteria in a state of confusion. A change in environment- not so friendly to them. I've had to increase the amount of peroxide to two bottles instead of one. My hope is in a couple of weeks, I will be that much further in ridding myself of the last of the bacteria, and I will be energy sufficient. Then I hope to keep plugging along at my own pace to finish off the last of the lyme. My fear is in a few weeks, I might still be suffering with these lows, but I'm going to do my best.

    I do feel closer to god. I know I have to use what I know about this disease to help people in some way. I know my road is going to curve many more times before it gets better and I will be struggling with both the "death" of my marriage and this disease for a long time.

    Thanks again to all of you. I'll be stopping back in to let you know how things are going. I have an appt tomorrow with a councilor and an appt with a psychiatrist in three weeks as a back up plan "just in case" the medication is not working out.

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 07:26 PM   #30
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    Re: Wife decided to divorce me

    PS. I'd love to hear from Deejavu

     
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