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when to date after a divorce

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Old 05-17-2007, 05:06 PM   #1
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when to date after a divorce

How do you know when it is right? After being with my husband of almost 9 years but total 13, I decided to end the marriage because of things he's done. I don't want to just date when I'm in that vulnerable state you know? But, how am I going to know when it's right? This is the time for me to make time for me. I know I'll be focusing on myself. Just wondering.

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Old 05-17-2007, 09:59 PM   #2
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Re: when to date after a divorce

how long ago did you get divorce?? You should really take time for yourself before looking for other relationships, give time to heal and deal with your previous feelings still running around before engaging in another relationship.

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Old 05-17-2007, 10:57 PM   #3
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Re: when to date after a divorce

I had a counselor tell me once that a person should wait on month for every year of marriage before dating again, ie: 10 years marriage, wait 10 months to date. I could never wait that long though, I wanted to have fun right away .

Old 05-17-2007, 11:14 PM   #4
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Re: when to date after a divorce

i thought u shouldn't think about that right now. i mean, you can just "date" casually but to look for anything serious....i think should come a little later. as u said, ur vulnerable right now. i really think there shouldn't be a time limit on anything, just make sure that ur mind is clear of things. and that in itself is a battle. goodluck tho.

Old 05-17-2007, 11:17 PM   #5
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Re: when to date after a divorce

I find that people who go straight from a relationship to a new one have not had time to put down their baggage. Sit and process for a while first. Not to say don't go out and socialise, just beware of starting anything serious. Cheers, Sera

Old 05-18-2007, 05:22 AM   #6
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Re: when to date after a divorce

When you are ready you will know.

I think you should definately take time for you. 13 years is a long time to be with someone. However, that doesn't mean you should wait years to date again. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to feel a certain way or stick to a certain time frame. Everyone is different. Trust me, when you meet the right person and the time is right you will know without question.

Old 05-18-2007, 08:24 AM   #7
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Re: when to date after a divorce

I feel it's each individuals terms. I was married to an abusive alcoholic for 22 years. Dated him for 4 years before we married. I was soooooooo young I had no idea what alcoholism even was. Our marriage was over for 10 years before I filed for divorce and left. Dated a little, married my husband 2 years after I felt. It was enough time for me as I had grown kids, had spent the better part of my first marriage alone ( not cheating) alone raising my kids , so knew what it was like to live on my own. My marriage to my second husband is healthy and wonderful. you'll know when it's time.


Old 05-18-2007, 04:02 PM   #8
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Re: when to date after a divorce

It's hard to say because everyone is different. I would go out with friends and family and have some alone time. Don't do it until you are ready. You could just date around and see people without committment.

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