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My Wife Sent me the Divorce Papers...

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Old 09-03-2009, 01:13 PM   #1
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nomair1 HB User
My Wife Sent me the Divorce Papers...

hi everyone......

Yesterday my wife send me the divorce notice and it was on the basis of thinking differences. Me and my wife both are Muslims and are married for over 3 years and 6 months, we have a daughter toughter who is going to turn 3 in december. I love my wife very much and i guess i never apperitiated her when she was with me. before my marrige i use to hang out with my friends alot. i kept the same thing going for the first 2 years of my mirrage. comming home late and ignoring her being with friends. i use to have my own buisness but it was not that successfull. we use to have alot of money isues and not to forget issues with parents cause we used to live with them. after 2 years i moved out of my parents place due to some issues and i always supported my wife in any kind of situation. we ended up moving back since my buisness was shut down and there we were again hand to mouth, living with the parents. Only this time i tried my level best and landed a job in an oil company making a Handsome amount of money. No i can afford anything but i lost the most important thing in my life. we use to have arguments like normal peoples do and one day last month i saw a couple of messages on her phone from a guy i did not knew. My mistake was that i shouted on her and accused her of cheating me. well i came to know that guy was interusted in her sister. i made a mistake but now she have made up her mind that she dont want to come back to me and from las 1 month she just told me 1 thing that give me some time. She is now with her parents and i tried talking to them to but they say its her decision weather to live with me or not. i know i did a mistake of rushing her and that got me a divorce papers today. i really love my wife and i am willing to change myself and do anything. i tried explainig to her that i am a changed person and i prefer spending more time wih family now then with friends but she dont believe me. i have transformed myself completely but she does not want to give me another chance. i really love her alot and my daughter too. please help me out i have been praying to god every day but i guess god is also mad at me. i love my family aot so please anyone....

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Old 09-03-2009, 03:14 PM   #2
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Re: My Wife Sent me the Divorce Papers...

My friend, it's difficult to tell you what to do. If she doesn't want you back, she doesn't want you back. Period. All you can do is being and remaining a good father to your daughter. This - and maybe only this - is in your power.

Old 09-03-2009, 09:22 PM   #3
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Re: My Wife Sent me the Divorce Papers...

I'm so sorry, but it's true, your wife has a free will and can choose to walk away, as much as it hurts. I've sort of been through the same thing, and I learned the hard way that when we lose something we really wanted, it wasn't the thing we wanted that we were supposed to have, but rather the lesson we learned from having lost it.

It's good that you have become a more mature, devoted, patient and loving man. These qualities will serve you well as you and your wife work out custody issues with your child and it will help you be a better co-parent. And who knows, maybe someday you will meet the woman of your dreams and the lessons you learned from losing this woman will make you a much better partner for the next one. Or maybe after several months, or even years, you and your wife might come to a point where you both wish to try again. You never know. But all you can relaly do now is grow and learn from this experience. Be a better person. Show your wife you've become a better person, just by being this person. By respecting her choices, by being reasonable, fair, calm, mature, by NOT hounding her, begging her, cajoling her to come back to you. Her heart must do what it must and you can't turn it by force. Be the best man you know how to be for yourself and for your daughter. And what is meant to be is what will be. Good luck.

Old 04-12-2011, 03:15 PM   #4
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Re: My Wife Sent me the Divorce Papers...

I will pray for you too. Going throught the same thing in a different kinda way. The pain is too great somtimes I know. We cannot change people we can only change ourselves. If she does divorce you as my wife is do not give up until perhaps she finds another man.If indeed she does. By this I mean be good to your child show her how you have changed through your child and who knows. Dont pressure her and wait. If she comes back then she was a good and honest wife if not then she does not desearve you if all you say is true. I am going to take this advice myself by the way. praying for you

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