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headed for divorce

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Old 11-13-2010, 11:08 AM   #1
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missy2730 HB User
headed for divorce

i don't even know where to start. 1st of all i had a breast reduction about 3 weeks ago & my husband is being very nonsupportive over this. we've been married almost 5 yrs & i am 50 & he is 54. i thought our sex life was good, but to hear him talk, he is not satisfied. he wants more lingerie, excitement & more boobs. i went from a 38dd to a 38c & i know he will be disgusted when he sees them. we are neither one mr & mrs america, so i don't understand the big deal. he says he loves me & i have to be more exciting you know where & then he will have to deal with the boob issue. don't really know what to do, cause i feel like he married me for the boobs & nothing else. please, anyone have any advice

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Old 11-13-2010, 04:00 PM   #2
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Re: headed for divorce

Did he know that you were getting the boob job? I would be surprised if you got the boob job without discussing it. I support you...they are your boobs. I have felt that way ....that someone just dated me for my boobs...I'm sure you have had conversations about it? He was probably attracted to you due to your boobs..but obvioiusly he loves YOU to marry you right?
I think my boyfriend is the opposite..I think he fell in love with me..and I really think he hates my BIG boobs. We have never discussed it...but I have heard him refer to them as those monsters.

Old 11-14-2010, 06:58 AM   #3
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Re: headed for divorce

Hey dear.
First of all, divorce may not be the best solution here.
What you really need is to have a good dialogue with your husband.

According to me, the only mistake you did was to go for the breast surgery without your mutual agreement.
He is your husband and any decision you can take should be taken after a mature reflection on both side and a final decision where both of you agree.

You said maybe he married you just for your boobs. If you think so, why did you reduce them?
Sometime, someone love a person just for a particular thing that person possesses and when the person deliberately withdraw that attraction (not by accident), things become complicated.

However, if your husband really loves you, he will finally forgive and support you.

All what you need to do is to take time to explain him how you felt having too much boobs. Tell him how much you feel great after the surgery and how the surgery boosted your personality.

As he wants more lingerie, don't refuse him that.
Buy more lingerie, be more sexy, seduce him.
Don't be afraid to even do too much, you are his wife and age doesn't matter here.
Read online tips to seduce and attract your husband, take the advices you think maybe usefull for you, put them in practice and then enjoy!!!

Life is short dear..

Old 11-14-2010, 02:49 PM   #4
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Re: headed for divorce

Whoa, I completely disagree! Why all of a sudden is this man wanting lingerie, excitement, and more boobs? Is he going through a midlife crisis? Women were not put on this earth to be a man's sex object and personal prostitute. Pole dancers and pornography are giving women a bad reputation. More than likely your size 38DD were causing you back pain, although you don't mention that. Let him carry that around all day and see what he thinks.-- Sorry, got a little carried away.

Maybe you will understand why I am so passionate about this when I tell you a little history. My husband went through weird stages, wanting me to have long hair, wear blue eye shadow, and wear short skirts. I DO NOT LIKE BLUE EYESHADOW, but I wore what I considered a compromise of a blue/ gray color. I let my hair grow long, although I felt it looked better at a mid- length. I wore skirts, even when it was cold outside, although I wanted to wear long pants. Now, don't get me wrong, I take care of myself. I dress nicely, wear makeup, and fix my hair, etc. Why did the guy marry me if he wanted me to be someone else? If he wanted a blonde, blue- eyed woman who wore short skirts, why did he marry a brunette with brown eyes and who dressed conservatively? Do I have to change my personality just to suit him?

He went through the lingerie thing. I tried to wear some tasteful things. But, I'm sure he would have preferred porno queen. All this did was make me feel as if I wasn't wanted. When I gained weight because I was taking some medications after I had a stroke, he called me names like Shamu and reminded me often how fat I was. I didn't like it any more than he. I lost the weight eventually when I stopped the medicine, but I never forgot how I was treated. It's terrible to feel as if somehow your husband doesn't like the real you, either inside or out.

38C is plenty. If you want to wear something romantic because you love your husband, then do so. But, conforming to his desire because it somehow satisfies his midlife crisis expectations is just wrong!

Well, the end of the story: I guess my husband did want someone else, and he took every opportunity to find that person he wanted me to be and somehow wasn't. He cheated on me repeatedly and I've had enough. My husband does not live up to MY expectations of a loving, caring husband, so I am divorcing him after putting up with it for nearly 20 years.

So, learn a lesson from my marriage. If he's wanting you to be something that you're not, that's telling you there are problems. Fix it before you end up spending your life feeling as if you somehow never measure up and your marriage ends. As for me, I should have ended my marriage a long time ago.
Best Regards,

Last edited by Administrator; 02-03-2011 at 06:23 PM. Reason: removed inappropriate word

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