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desperate depressed

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Old 04-11-2011, 04:19 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: bradford uk
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alan1961 HB User
desperate depressed

Hello Friends

This is all very complecated but I will try to make it short. I have been married to my wife for 9 years, it would be 10 years this oct. We have been together over 14 years now and have a seven year old daughter. Last May out of the blue an argument ensued and she asked me to leave the house and said she wanted a seperation. I was in total shock and had been suffering from depression for quite some time leading up to it all.

The end result after a month was that I entered hospital as a volenteer patient as I was suicidal. I was their for three weeks. During this period my wife sent me a text message saying she wanted a divorce and came into the hospital the next day to tell me so. This through me into even deeper shock and depression.

On coming out she went in July to the States to see her folks with our daguter who is now seven. She agreed after much pushing on her return to come to councelling and did so for Three sessions. I feel now that this was purely because she wanted to have fixed place to tell me that she no longer loved me and still wanted a divorce.

A few months after this we had stayed friends and I was just beggining to build again when her sisters visited the house our house. I was homless at this point. She removed her wedding rings and told me she was going to divorce me. I agreed to go through mediation for the sake of our child to make the possible divorce as easy as possible it has been all far too pleasent and inside I am dead. I have been sucidal many times and rung the samaritans for help in my times of despair. I am on medication to help the depression I have been unable to work apart from a short time but it all became far far too dificult. I deeply love my wife. For 10 years she had a terrible disordy Crohns it meant many times in hospital with constant stress for her I saw her on deaths door three times during this period with many long stays in hospital The stress finaciall and emotionally was intence to say the least. Eventually three four years ago she had a major operation to remove her bowl leaving her with a permanant stoma.
This put lots of pressure on the marrage but I really did try to support her through all. Two years ago she had a final operation to remove other more personal parts of her antomy. She was devastated as was I because this meant no riversal was possible. But we struggled through and she regained her health.

When you watch somone suffer like this and support them throughout as the marrage vows ask the pain of sudden rejection is unbarable. MY daughter is suffering and so am I but my wife seems set on the course of divorce and truly seems to reconise my good deads she only sees the bad ones. Of course i have made some major errors in our marrage but they were all with the truest intention of my wife's happiness.

She is now seeing another man who she met in though friends we met in the church we attend. I am devestated my vows and my family were everything to me I have failed I only want one chance to try. I thought forgiveness was part of our god pleas help if you can Thanky

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