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Where to start?

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Old 05-30-2011, 09:25 AM   #1
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Where to start?

I need some insight on where to start putting my life back together. I've come through the divorce from hell and am a mess emotionally, mentally, and physically. I've isolated myself from the world. I am depressed and feel just like sitting around. I have a good career. My wife was my world and started treating me like dirt, we had no sex in a year despite my efforts to try and even talk to her. Turns out she and an "old friend" from 13 years ago had an online ******** affair (I found the evidence on ********, confronted her; she denied, then 2 days later left and said she was divorcing me). I gave up the house because I was in denial to her during the divorce process. Her and her family played me for a fool. planned everything out and as soon as I moved out, "the friend" moved in, even before the temporary hearing. She has moved on apparently. I'm nothing, not even a memory to her. I don't imagine she hurts or feels guilt over what she did to another human being and tearing her family apart. She has suffered nothing, has it all and the man. I am stuck living with my parents, stuck with all credit card debt (that she run up), the house and debt have yet to be decided but there is an upcoming hearing for that. We were married for 6 years and had one child. Some say that the family courts will order the house sold since she was unable to get refinance loan. I just want justice and fairness for a wrong that has been done to me. I cant even start over and she has left my credit in ruins. I have no friends, no close ones, not even a best friend. I am lonely, hurting, angry and feel there is no rainbow at the end of this storm and that it is not even going to end. Her father even sued me claiming he loaned money to me which he didn't and she was a witness, which lied on the stand. Of course, he lost the law suit. I can't believe how vile she and they are. The OM never is around when I pick up my son although I know he is there. My son tells me and his car is constantly parked in my spot on the driveway and his stuff is everywhere. How can someone be so vile, be so bad. Yes, I've been in counselling, yes I'm on an anti-depressant. I worked hard to build a house, a family and a life and it is simply wrong for someone else to walk away with all of that and not get any form of bad karma. I keep waiting for God to vindicate my wrong doing but nothing. I have become very bitter. My self-esteem is shot. Women don't even look my way and am shy so I won't meet anyone. Don't have friends to introduce me to anyone. I go to church and have always went. I am very moral and a man with faith, but my faith has been tried. I live in a rural area and work in a job where I don't have opportunity to meet people. I keep asking the question why me? I keep thinking she was suppose to be a good moral person and a good girl. How could she? I loved her parents like my own and looked up to them. How could they turn on me. Don't they see this is morally wrong. Don't she have any shame? Does she feel it is fair for her to walk away with our biggest asset and free from paying credit debt. I have an attorney, but so far other than getting me out from paying house payment and telling her she is responsible; nothing has been done. My name is still on mortgage and everything. She even did not pay a utility bill and since it's in my name. Creditors have come after me. I'm not the one in the house. Any advice? where to start over? What to do? All I want is what is fair. She's made her choice, she got her divorce. She is happy, she has her man, she has her freedom, she has the house, she's walked away from debt. Where's my silver lining?

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Old 06-01-2011, 06:08 AM   #2
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Re: Where to start?

Why are you giving her the house and not selling it? She should have to buy you out of the house if she wants it.

You need to get money for YOUR house so you can move on and get your own place. I responded to you over on the relationship board and this story here paints a more of a picture for me of what is going on.

You have a lot going on right now. The divorce, your young son, living with your parents, your credit debt, etc. You have baggage, which will make it hard to find a woman who doesn't have baggage.

I am sorry your wife turned out to be so horrible. However, don't allow yourself to be a doormat any longer. You deserve half of that house. Afterall, you need a place for your son to live as well.
"There's a big difference in playing the victim than in causing your own personal drama." -BK

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