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I am so hurt and just don't understand.

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Old 08-01-2012, 07:47 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Houston, TX, USA
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baseballjunkie6 HB User
I am so hurt and just don't understand.

My husband and I have been married 27 years and have 2 children together. About 6 months ago I could feel something was wrong with him emotionally. He has had several surgeries over the past 6 years. He has been off of work for the past 8 years (however he is on permanent partial disability and has been awarded a large weekly check for the rest of his life). I work full-time. Again 6 months ago I started asking him what was wrong and what i could do to help him. All I got was "nothing, it's just me". Found out just recently he told his mom he just wasn't happy. A few months later I asked him if he was having an affair which he denied. I really did and still do believe he was telling the truth then. He seemed very depressed however. Last month we went out of town to celebrate our anniversary and he told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the next 27 years with me. I discovered accidentally after our trip that he had been calling and texting another woman and it started 2 weeks before our anniversary trip. I hired a private investigator and sure enough found out that he was seeing someone else. I didn't confront him at the time because his sister was in the hospital very ill. About a week later I couldn't stand it anymore and confronted him. I told him that I was not going to live with a cheater and one of us needed to move out. Well he did. I thought he would move next door to his mother's house but instead he moved from our 2 acre property into an apartment with the girlfriend. I was devasted. About a week later his sister and an uncle of his passed away. We were both holding his sister's hand when she passed He says that he still loves me, that I am a wonderful wife and mother and that I deserve better than him. He says I know you will be much happier without me. He is willingly giving me money to keep up with the bills, etc even after I cut off his cell phone and refused to release his number to him. (He really has no obligation as our children are grown). I am completely at a loss as to what has happened here. It has been a month and other than some of his clothes he hasn't moved anything in with her. His put all his other stuff in storage at his mother's. His mother is completely heart broken and wants him to come home to me and act like a husband but he refuses. His mother thinks that he hadn't goten caught he would have never left me. When I threatened divorce he only responds with If that's what you want to do. The pain is unbearable. I love him and miss him so much. What is going on with him. He says it is completely over with us. I don't even know what happened. We were best friends, hardly ever fought and have the same interests. He insists he loves me and always will but that he is just unhappy. This emotional roller coaster is killing me. Help!

Last edited by baseballjunkie6; 08-01-2012 at 07:49 PM. Reason: Not a reply so deleted first sentence.

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Old 08-03-2012, 06:44 AM   #2
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Re: My husband wants a divorce after 25 years together

Originally Posted by baseballjunkie6 View Post
Well, I am in the same boat. After 27 years of marriage my husband wants out. No warning or anything. He has moved into an apartment with another woman. I am so hurt I don't know what to do.
I am sorry for you too. I don't understand men sometimes. I can't just say men though. Women do it too. They just up and leave whenever they want. And it's sad when there was no warning signs. How can you prepare yourself for something like that? It's a huge shock. I'm sorry. I'm here if you wanna talk!

Old 08-05-2012, 04:27 PM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Houston, TX, USA
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Re: My husband wants a divorce after 25 years together

Thanks Chrissy. I know my husband is going through some issues right but it hurt that he moved in with this woman. I really don't think he would have left if I hadn't kicked him out of the house after I found out he was cheating. He is still giving me money (even though I don't need it and he knows it) to keep the bills paid. I guess I am lucky in that aspect. He hasn't taken anything from the house (except his clothes I packed for him). I am just taking it day by day. Maybe we will get back together, maybe not. However, in the meantime I am determined not to stoop to the level he and his girlfriend are taking. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

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