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  • 4 yr old DS boy; discipline problems; speech delay/not chewing (long post)

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    Old 07-14-2005, 11:28 AM   #1
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Posts: 2
    daddylove HB User
    4 yr old DS boy; wins your heart then breaks it


    A. is a joy to be around most of the time because he is so happy and friendly.
    However, he has a few areas which need working on to keep us from going crazy and for him to have a productive life.
    Everytime we try to get outside assistance with these areas, we see no results and lose alot of time.

    The specific questions we have regard
    #1) social service aid in preschool
    #2) speech therapy / speech therapist and EI
    #3) how do you effectively discipline a DS child ?
    #4) Do you know of an all day 1 week intensive speech therapy program ?

    #1) social service aid in preschool
    A. enjoys preschool part-time(14 children/2 teachers) and we plan to increase this to full days soon.
    However, the preschool teacher wants us to get a social services aid to stay with A. during the schoolday because she says they cannot spend as much time with A. as needed and he learns best with one on one instruction.
    We as parents are hesitant to do this because we think it is too soon (1 month in preschool) and that A. will adjust better and learn more without the aid. We had experience with social services on the east coast and it was a total ,100% waste of time.

    Have you had experience with social service aids in California for preschoolers?
    Were they good or bad (I need specific quantifiable facts, not personal opinions)

    #2) Thoughts on speech therapy/speech therapist and EI ?

    A. will not eat anything but CERTAIN foods which are pureed/chopped. When offered new food, he will close his mouth and shake his head and frown and move away.
    We have been trying to implement excercises to help A. chew but he is rarely receptive to us. Last month, we enlisted the assistance of a speech therapist. We had been to a speech therapist before but it was expensive and no results were produced so we stopped going.
    We are seeing some signs that this current therapist might not have been the best choice but they are in-network so we have stuck with her.
    For example,
    #2.a) last therapy session we brought food and speech tools which she had written down on the homework to do during the previous session. When saw the food she said "why did you bring the food? I was not expecting that"
    #2.b) asking for a written list of what A. eats on a daily basis because of concern that A. was malnurished. We took A. to the doctor after this. The doctor said A. has gained 1 pound in the last month, was not malnourished but rather in the 95% growth range for DS children and that we should stop seeing this therapist. Interestingly, we did not mention the trip to the doctor or nutrition to the therapist but the therapist never received the list of food and never brought up malnutrition again.

    #2.c) The therapist, (to her credit) did show us a new excercise for chewing which was different than the one we were doing. However, A. still does not chew.

    This therapist has recommended we seek EI through the local public school system but we are hesitant and unsure what benefit A. will receive from EI.

    Can you share specific suggestions with facts (not personal opinions) on EI and Speech therapists ?

    #3) how do you effectively discipline a DS child ?

    Overall behavior problem

    He does not listen to us anymore when he doesn't want too. How can we discipline him ?

    #4) Do you know of an all day 1 week intensive speech therapy program in California?

    Thanks for your time.
    Sincerely, Daddylove

    Last edited by daddylove; 07-15-2005 at 10:04 AM.

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    Old 07-14-2005, 01:36 PM   #2
    Karen W.
    Join Date: Apr 2005
    Posts: 391
    Karen W. HB User
    Re: 4 yr old DS boy; discipline problems; speech delay/not chewing (long post)

    First of all, Your expectation is way to much from a specail needs child, trying to teach him Russian and English is too much for the child, it has to be one or the other, but not both. My son was in an Eater Seals program at the age of 9 month's old, now if this child is first stating now, he has allot of catching up to do and it's going to be a long preocess. DS kids have to work twice as hard to achive any set goal and you have to be patient, it's not going to happen over night. Ds kids don't like too many change's, I would get him in a program and keep him in it, let him get comfortable with his surroundings and with the teacher's, the kids and the peopel who do his therapy, constantly changing is not good. As for eating, I would start out by giving the child some some chewable food and purified food all in one meal. Like give him some cooked grren beans and a bowl of apple sauce, let him experimint with the food, when he dose chew, praise him. Prasing a child with DS is important, it motivate's them to do more. As for swimming, you may have to go in with him all the time, I had my some in swim class at the age of 6 month's, he loved it but I was required to be in the water with him.
    Karen W.

    Old 07-18-2005, 01:58 PM   #3
    Karen W.
    Join Date: Apr 2005
    Posts: 391
    Karen W. HB User
    Smile Re: 4 yr old DS boy; discipline problems; speech delay/not chewing (long post)

    I didn't mean to sound harsh on my last post, your a good parent, too bad all children don't have the encourage ment you do as a parent. Special needs children are very specail, there so loving, they will melt your heart, they are funny too! Your child is probably frustrated with trying to learn to language's, Just stick to one for now. It's good to have expectation for your son but you have to be patient, it will take him twice as long to achieve them, when he dose achieve them, your going to be so happy and proud. My son David has two older brother, he always watched them ride there bike with no training wheels, well one day, my son David (he is the one with DS), he decided he wanted his training wheels off his bike, so we took them off, after 5 days of practic, he rode his bike without training wheel, I just stood there in shock as tears rolled down my face, there were all of neighbors outside at the time, they all cheered and clapped for him, he was so proud, this event happened when he was 8 years old. I never thought I would see the day when he would do that, to this day, when I tell this story, I get teary eyed.
    Karen W.

    Old 07-23-2005, 08:21 AM   #4
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Posts: 1
    dgbpurple HB User
    Re: 4 yr old DS boy; discipline problems; speech delay/not chewing (long post)

    Hi! I also have a 4 year old son with DS with behavior problems. The doctor advised me to put him in "time out", he said his own room, utility room, wherever, anytime he misbehaves. He said to be firm about it because at this stage he's trying to see what he can get away with. It IS hard to discipline because you're not sure what they really understand, but the dr seems to think he knows what he's doing when he misbehaves. So I'm going to give it a try, maybe it will work for your son, too!

    Old 07-26-2005, 07:28 PM   #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date: Feb 2005
    Posts: 31
    Drafter HB User
    Re: 4 yr old DS boy; discipline problems; speech delay/not chewing (long post)

    We have a 4yr old girl, and sounds as if we have some of the same problems. Karen W has good advice -- be patient; these little folks are stubborn and take much longer to learn something new than other kids.

    I would not rule out Early Intervention from your public school. I don't know what state you are from, but here in Nebraska, the EI program was fantastic! I made one phone call when Jessie was 5 wks old and they did everything from there. They provided all therapists (physical, occupational, spec-ed, speech) who visited us in our homes until Jessie turned 3. Then the actual school district we are in takes over and we go to the school for therapy sessions. None of this costs us a dime; it is all federally mandated, meaning the school HAS TO provide it to you free of charge.

    The school will not cross the border into 'medical issues', leaving that to the medical experts (ie your family doc). That is where we went to get help with feeding issues. Upon discussion with our doc, and given the fact that she is 4 yrs old and still having eating issues, which relates directly to health, our insurance pays for sessions with specialists dealing with pediatric feeding issues. We have only to pay a copay for each office visit.

    Don't think that because your child is not 'school age' that the public school won't deal with you. They must -- it's the LAW. There are several good books on this issue by Peter and Pamela Wright -- I would recommend "From Emotions to Advocacy - The Special Education Survival Guide". They are easy to read and very informative.

    Onto your preschool problem. We have enrolled Jessie in a 'normal' preschool program that is run by a university nearby. It is run by full-time educators and doctorates, but as the bulk of their staff they use college education students who are getting their early education credentials. It's considered a 'lab'. Because Jessie is coming, the administrators plan on getting some special ed teacher trainees involved also. So eveyone gets benefits. I suppose some parents might not like the idea of college kids teaching their little ones, but they are closely supervised, and our little girl is so gregarious and social that she doesn't mind the different faces that will appear each day. You may want so see if a college near you has such a program; or possibly the college could send some of their special ed teacher trainees to work with your son for free in exchange for the experience they will get. Couldn't hurt to check.

    On the short intensive speech therapy program, I just don't think this would work. Maybe with a normal child, but you are dealing with a special needs child, and ds kids don't like to be pushed, they are stubborn and learn best thru gentle repetition. The pre-school class with 'normal' kids should help alot, as he will be exposed to more normal kid behavior and speech.

    Discipline -- so far time-outs work good for us. We usually put Jessie in a chair for her time-out period. If she won't stay, we kneel in front of her with our hands holding her in place, but we don't look at her or talk to her. This usually does the trick because she hates to be ignored.

    Whew! I really went on -- hope this helps!

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