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  • 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

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    Old 07-28-2005, 10:56 AM   #1
    jills
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    12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    My step daughter goes to the toilet at school and has not had an accident in 2 years. When she gets home she just poops or pees herself. We set a timer for every 1 1/2 hours and make her go to the toilet, this avoids most accidents but sometimes we are caught out and she crouches or goes to her room and poops.

    I have talked to teachers and they say its laziness that Downs children are prone to. We have tried rewards, punishments, talking to her and just about everything that teachers have suggested. They are very supportive.

    My daughter understands that she is doing wrong but doesnt care. She has great bladder control and is a helpfull little girl, she generally wants to please.
    She cannot talk as such but can sign and let us know what she wants. I know she understands every word we say.

    We just want her to go to the toilet. She wil be starting her period soon so we would love to get the toilet problem sorted before.

    Can anyone help or offer suggestions of what we could do?

     
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    Old 07-29-2005, 02:14 PM   #2
    Karen W.
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    Re: 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    Hi,
    DS kids, teens and adult's go threw many stages, this is not a good one. She knows what she's doing, why she's doing it is the question. Never the less she has to be punished in some way. You could tell her, now if your don't have any accidents, you can have a hot fudge sunday for a snack tonight-(pick something she loves to eat), now if she has an accident, she dose not get the snack. She'll get mad but two can play this game.
    Karen W.

     
    Old 07-29-2005, 06:03 PM   #3
    jills
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    Re: 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    Thanks for the reply. I will try this.

     
    Old 09-05-2005, 03:29 AM   #4
    hmahappy
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    Re: 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    Its strange, maybe Downs have something wrong with their sphincteric control? My sister had or has the same thing, she's 30, its been like that for the past 5-6 years, every once in a while she has an accident. Sometimes I think its laziness, sometimes i think she doesn't realize how bad she has to go. And when she does go and its too late- everything is a mess because i think her arms are too short to clean herself properly, so we have to clean her up. Its okay, we love her. I keep telling my mom to let her wear depends at least like when we're travelling- but she doesn't want to.

    but by the way, punishment for my sister never worked, what works better is talking to her repeatedly, and i mean repeatedly, and encouraging her, like "good girl, u went to the bathroom!!, here take a chocolate!" that's something called positive reinforcement, and is accepted as a better technique of child rearing in all kids. We never punish her- she doesn't fathom it anyway.

     
    Old 09-22-2005, 07:02 AM   #5
    jills
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    Re: 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    Well punishment doesnt seem to work. We have tried not letting her watch TV. The reward of icecream if she uses the toilet doesnt seem to work either. I am going to try the avenue of constantly telling her she needs to use the toilet and offer a little reward when she does.

    Her teacher says its laziness. To me it seems like she never has accidents away from home. She sometimes stays at a friends house and no problems there and she went on a trip to relatives and did well on the toilet front. No problems at school.

    Its almost as if as soon as she gets home she thinks its chill time I dont need to bother going to the toilet.

    You would not believe how bad this house smells and I am ashamed when people come around.

    I dont blame her but I do get frustrated and very low about it.

     
    Old 09-24-2005, 12:20 PM   #6
    hmahappy
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    Re: 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    Its difficult having a DS child, though it is rewarding too- My sister is like my source of unconditional love always if you know what I mean! But i understand what your going through. I want to point out though that people often make the mistake of dealing with DS like as if they were "normal" children, and they're not, they're much slower and respond differently to things like punishment/ reward, very differently. Like i said, my sister absolutely never understands the concept of punishment, she forgets what it is that happened, and just thinks we are being mean to her. She does love being hugged kissed given attention, played with and compliments, so that was the best thing for her. Anything she does right she gets lots of attention for. Maybe you have to find the best thing that works with your daughter, and like i said they're slow- so what might have worked right away with a normal child would take longer to work with a DS. Also, they are mentally retarded so yes you might have to think for her: tell her when she needs to go. My sister sometimes i feel she really doesn't get it that now she needs to go. They also like organization and can be very ritualistic: so this is good if you can get her to be ritualistic about going to the bathroom in an organized schedule, that will help. Good luck, and may God give you patience.

     
    Old 09-24-2005, 10:34 PM   #7
    jills
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    Re: 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    Thank you,
    I have read up on positive reinforcement and it was very interesting. We are trying this now. Ignoring and not reacting to the "accidents" and giving her an instant reward and praise when she does something on the toilet. Yes it may take time but I wont give up.

     
    Old 09-28-2005, 08:57 PM   #8
    herdad
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    Re: 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    I was just reading your post and what I want to tell you is don't give up. I have had custody of my daughter(she is 10) for almost 3 years now, and when I got her I had to teach her,and still am at times, about the bathroom.It was hard at first but the one thing that worked for me was repetition,she still has an accident every now and then,sometimes when she is playing with other kids,she doesn't want to stop playing.So just keep the faith,be patient,and even though it sometimes get's frustrating,it is well worth the reward.

     
    Old 09-29-2005, 11:46 AM   #9
    jills
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    Re: 12 year old with Downs. Toilet problems

    Thanks for yor support.

    Well the last few days have been accident free. We set a timer for every 1.30 hrs and she gets a pickle (which she loves) if she pees and a few M&Ms if she poos, on the toilet. She never goes to the bathroom unless we tell her to yet she goes if she needs to at school. Maybe it will just take time. I wont give up.

     
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